I have been in almost constant every day contact with my mom pretty much since mr Lewis was born and definitely since hubs break down in February... My mother and I don't Always have the best relationship, she would email me in Afghanistan while she was talking to my ex who at the time was my husband and make pronouncement a about how she knew I was "cutting him and the kids off" because he was getting 600.00 every two weeks plus a free place to live with all utilities paid not to mention the use of my paid for car and the insurance was paid for. Honestly all he had to pay for was cable and food. I weened him down to 600.00 from 2000.00 after I discovered the affair and the fact he was spending my money on the other woman and there wasn't anything in my bank account. She would make pronouncements that my kids should stay with him so that she could see them not for any other reason when she barely sees them more then 3 times a year when we lived close.. She would call my ex and tell him information about john when we were dating, like giving his name and rank and all kinds of ****, all the while ex was holding up the divorce over a year to get more free money out of me that the army said I had to pay him as long as we were married even when he didn't have the kids. Resultingly I cut my mother out, told her I wasn't going to talk to her anymore, told her why, told her ex could be her son but I wasn't going to be her daughter. She wasn't interested in the best interest of my kids she was interested in what was easier for her and her relationship with them. Never mind the fact the whole time he was having the affair she was swearing I was crazy, and he wouldn't do that and if he was it was my fault. Anyway when I came home I went into therapy 2 times a week for a year. And my t doctor recommended i distance myself from my mom and sister because the relationship wasn't healthy the harder I work the more I am 360 degrees from my mom's view point on life if its not easy she doesn't do it. She didn't ever raise one of her kids for 18 years we all spent time with my aunt I lived withy aunt for 8 years my sister lived with her dad and my aunt all her life and my brother was shuffled around also. I distanced myself even though my dad was diagnosed with cancer and less then 6 months later died. She let difficult child sister or rather half sister move in with her, my brother and I waived all rights to the estate so she had money to live on and everyone EVERYONE told her not to move sister in. Anyway a year and a half later, no money they can't pay their bills she can't go to the doctor her medications disappear the house that she just did all the repairs on is ruined. It's been several days since I called her mostly because I am sick of giving suggestions for her to improve her situation and she won't. She was asleep the last 6 times I've called. I called her, talked for a second about mr Lewis told her about the lemon wash I put on my hair to lighten it and told her I'd been in the bed most of the day sort of.i got up with the baby at 6am and snuggled and played with him in bed till he went back to sleep at 11 for his nap. Hubs still wasn't up I went back to sleep. I need to clean the kitchen and living room but hubs and I were supposed to team up and do it this morning. I told her I had slept all day and she said "I'm not interested in your excuses it's up to you what kind of mother and wife you want to be, when I was your age I got up and did it on my own. When she was my age none of her kids lived with her and she worked an over night job. I said it was pot calling kettle since she's been asleep every hour of the day for the past two weeks to which she informed me she was 60 years old and could sleep if she wanted to. I said screw it and hung up. I am having a difficult time in the morning and getting things done and my depression is eating me alive but somehow still everything gets done that needs to get done and the baby isn't laying in his bed screaming or anything like that I am so angry I could burst. She has given up on life and has a few really good options available to her to get her out of this mess that she put herself in. This is the first time in 2 years I haven't had to wake up at 6 am or earlier because I don't have work or tk to get to school. I'm going through hell right now and nothing is getting better every day is the same and I have done everything I can to fix things for hubs, to keep my mom from giving up, to comfort my best friend through her divorce. No one pours this kind of time and attention into me and my feelings but the people on this board! I'm scared my mother is going to die in the same room and the same bed that my father died in. I want to be angry I want to not talk to this woman for lashing out at me for no reason when I seem to be the only person in my whole family who gets up every day and puts in the work, makes the phone calls, arranges the bills picks up the house, calls congressmen and lawyers and doctors for my husband and calls my mother's bill collectors from across the country and talks her into eating or seeing the sunshine! Why in the heck does everyone get to be a lazy no good bag of bones but me? Why does everyone get to wallow in their self pity and poverty and why on earth am I doing this to myself?