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my mother-ugh!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 10747" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Janet, </p><p></p><p>You know, if it was raining...pouring down buckets of rain on your game day and I knew there was the slightest chance that you were going to show up on the field I would be sitting in the stands; soaking wet, like a dog without a home holding up my GO JANET sign in one hand while shaking the rain out of my pom pon for you in the other. Never metcha...but just wanted to know I'm one of your biggest fans. (Not that I'm huge or anything, althought I have gained a few pounds since we met) but that is another story about....meeeeee and this is about YOU. </p><p></p><p>Listen (exhales loudly, twists face and lips in thought) Your Mom. She could be a succubus reincarnated and I wouldn't say a word against her. She's YOUR Mom. Without a doubt you have tissue issues with her that have at this point probably gone from cement tears to concrete stepping stones in the lovely garden you've made your life in the past few years. (You know I'm proud of YOU). And it occurs to me that as an adopted kid, we don't get to pick and choose our parents. It's pretty much a crap shoot and I guess you and your sibs rolled snake eyes. (No pun intended). OH yes I did intend a pun. That was good. Snort. </p><p></p><p>I'm not quite sure what anyone could say that would ever make it better between you and her. I am learning in therapy that people who don't ever want to change can't be changed, but it doesn't mean that my life has to go on being miserable or that I have to be around that abusive person. Your Mom is abusive. It's no different than your ex. But you apparently allow her (learned that in thearpy too) to continue this HOLD over your life. You don't have to tell me why, but might be a good time in YOUR life since your purging unnecessary things, and people to ask yourself why her? Why does SHE get to stay around wonderful YOU? I get the Bible tells us so. Honor and all....but you can honor her from a distance, without being involved. Yes NO? So she doesn't like your hair, she liked your pizzelles. (My favorite cookie with anise) She didn't tell you about the party for your uncle, but she allowed (huh!) you to have HER birthday party for her. </p><p></p><p>Slapped you until your face was handprinted? WOW that hurt goes back a long time doesn't it? I guess somethings we hold on to to remind us that people will never be allowed to take advantage of us again, why else would we hold on to memories like that? They certainly aren't pleasurable ones. Must be some good reason for hanging on to the bad ones. I hang on to mine because I vowed NEVER again to be taken advantage of by a person who abused me again, in any way shape or form, and if they had done so at anytime in my life, I would forgive them and then remove them from my day to day life. </p><p></p><p>You dear one, are precious. In a bed of craggy rocks and oyster shells you shimmer like a pearl. This you know. So when Mom decides to take her mental illness out on you at the first bite? Excuse yourself and tell her that you choose to no longer be her victim, punching bag or however you can word it, and tell her when and if she can treat you with the respect that she could never treat herself with you will allow her to have something to do with you. then walk out, shut the door and leave. Phones hang up, doors shut without slamming, and you deserve to be treated with if nothing else, () much respect from her. If she chooses to be a horses patute, it's her misery on missing out on the daughter that WE KNOW....without EVER MEETING IN PERSON....is a WONDERFUL and FANTASTIC LADY. </p><p></p><p>Don't you forget that......rha rha rheeeee kick her in the knee....</p><p>rha rha rhass.....kick her in the....</p><p>other knee. </p><p></p><p>Much Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 10747, member: 4964"] Janet, You know, if it was raining...pouring down buckets of rain on your game day and I knew there was the slightest chance that you were going to show up on the field I would be sitting in the stands; soaking wet, like a dog without a home holding up my GO JANET sign in one hand while shaking the rain out of my pom pon for you in the other. Never metcha...but just wanted to know I'm one of your biggest fans. (Not that I'm huge or anything, althought I have gained a few pounds since we met) but that is another story about....meeeeee and this is about YOU. Listen (exhales loudly, twists face and lips in thought) Your Mom. She could be a succubus reincarnated and I wouldn't say a word against her. She's YOUR Mom. Without a doubt you have tissue issues with her that have at this point probably gone from cement tears to concrete stepping stones in the lovely garden you've made your life in the past few years. (You know I'm proud of YOU). And it occurs to me that as an adopted kid, we don't get to pick and choose our parents. It's pretty much a crap shoot and I guess you and your sibs rolled snake eyes. (No pun intended). OH yes I did intend a pun. That was good. Snort. I'm not quite sure what anyone could say that would ever make it better between you and her. I am learning in therapy that people who don't ever want to change can't be changed, but it doesn't mean that my life has to go on being miserable or that I have to be around that abusive person. Your Mom is abusive. It's no different than your ex. But you apparently allow her (learned that in thearpy too) to continue this HOLD over your life. You don't have to tell me why, but might be a good time in YOUR life since your purging unnecessary things, and people to ask yourself why her? Why does SHE get to stay around wonderful YOU? I get the Bible tells us so. Honor and all....but you can honor her from a distance, without being involved. Yes NO? So she doesn't like your hair, she liked your pizzelles. (My favorite cookie with anise) She didn't tell you about the party for your uncle, but she allowed (huh!) you to have HER birthday party for her. Slapped you until your face was handprinted? WOW that hurt goes back a long time doesn't it? I guess somethings we hold on to to remind us that people will never be allowed to take advantage of us again, why else would we hold on to memories like that? They certainly aren't pleasurable ones. Must be some good reason for hanging on to the bad ones. I hang on to mine because I vowed NEVER again to be taken advantage of by a person who abused me again, in any way shape or form, and if they had done so at anytime in my life, I would forgive them and then remove them from my day to day life. You dear one, are precious. In a bed of craggy rocks and oyster shells you shimmer like a pearl. This you know. So when Mom decides to take her mental illness out on you at the first bite? Excuse yourself and tell her that you choose to no longer be her victim, punching bag or however you can word it, and tell her when and if she can treat you with the respect that she could never treat herself with you will allow her to have something to do with you. then walk out, shut the door and leave. Phones hang up, doors shut without slamming, and you deserve to be treated with if nothing else, () much respect from her. If she chooses to be a horses patute, it's her misery on missing out on the daughter that WE KNOW....without EVER MEETING IN PERSON....is a WONDERFUL and FANTASTIC LADY. Don't you forget that......rha rha rheeeee kick her in the knee.... rha rha rhass.....kick her in the.... other knee. Much Love Star [/QUOTE]
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