my mother

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Oct 26, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    is a witch! hi :)

    yup me again, sorry but i gotta go somewhere with all this ugliness lately. i'll send all of you a check you can split! ha ha

    So, i call my mom to give my every two day update on difficult child. It starts off ok, i say well difficult child is shutting down again, no shakes today and only hot chocolate. gotta head to hospital tmrw.

    than my stepfather gives me a speech about how somethiing might be lodged in her throat etc. and to get the barium swallowing test done. ok i say i already ordered it just to be on safe side. hospital was making me wait yet i requested it.

    than on comes mom. A little bit about mom. Mom cleans alllllllllllllllllllll day long. she sprays door knobs with lysol, questions god, life, everything under the sun, drinks wine nightly, smokes her brains out and has emphysema, and basically is a good person with-alot of guilt over stuff she need not.

    she begins, this is tearing me apart, i'm number 2 in this! what??!!! what does that even mean mom? Well it's difficult child, you and than me. uh no it's difficult child, me, my husband, our family, easy child rest of kids. Your the grandma, you matter alot yet you gotta calm down this is a bump in the road, recovery is always a slippery slope.

    You should put her in the hospital, you aren't a dr. you talk like you are but you arent', you talk about medications, use words like prn, like you know what your doing. that's why i'm working with-team of doctors mom.

    Well, this is ripping me apart, now she has another diagnosis of sensory issues? wtf how do you know this is what she has? another diagnosis now to add to the list i can't take it anymore. how do you know any of this is what she has Jen? you give labels to everything, g.a.d. o.c.d. and now you say your also Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?! i never saw that when you were growing up.

    on and on she went. than questioned the diagnosis of eating disorder, if only i could get into her mind than i'd be able to figure it out. ok mom. why she's doing this. why she's doing this to herself there has to be another reason.

    so i said calmly to her i do my best to answer all your questions yet their alot and your great on internet so go look it up if you want to. you spend too much time researching things creating diagnosis's that aren't there labeling her.

    so i said i gotta go i'm getting upset now and i gotta go get difficult child to eat some soup, she pushes on. i repeat same again she pushes on getting loud with-me now and insulting me. So, i said it. "why can't you just be a supportive parent, be uplifting tell me don't worry Jen it'll be ok everything just takes time". wait why not say jen your doing a great job you'll get there.

    instead of well you aren't a dr. and obviously somethiing's going wrong there that this kid is passing out in the house.

    so, i hung up. than my brother is texting me about how he walked in from school (he's in college) and mom's cursing throwing phones, attacking him.

    yea ok there's no mental illness in our family........ ha!!!!
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Oy. My xMIL called me the other day all PO'd and confused about kiddo's trip to hospital and wants me to send kiddo to live there. Family that just doesn't get it and is set in their ways just adds to the stress. *hugs* Jen.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    oh wow i'm sorry i've been so wrapped up in my junk. what hospital, and why?? and yea i've got a pain in the butt ex mother in law also
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Shortly before I joined the board she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a bad reaction to medications. Love how the medical community dubs "suicidal tendencies" as an "allergic reaction" don't you? It was discontent with medication and multi/conflicting diagnosis's that drove me to start looking more online and I found this site.
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    ahh ok. so sorry i'm very umm narcisstic lately can't spell. People will say how are you and i'm like got an hour?? LOL no hey how are you?? nope all about me!!! yes i do need a break dont' i?? yes and i do love how doctor's have their butts so far up their heads at times they have absolutely no clue what their talking about. glad you found this site. i call it a piece of therapy each day
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Oh yeah, it's def therapy for me! When kiddo starts acting up and I'm getting frustrated and trying not to trigger her into a meltdown I sit down and read this site to remind myself I'm not the only parent trying to deal with a difficult child, or the only one trying to do it alone, and that even those with good marriages struggle with difficult children, too. Also good to know I'm not alone in having relatives or in-laws that "don't get it" and might never get it. My dad and stepmom have been great about it, I expect my bio-dad and half-sis would get it (it's not uncommon for their phones to be cut off, so haven't talked to them lately), but everyone else... not really getting it. Of course most of them were raised that when a kid acts up the "cure" is to beat the behavior out of them and give them more chores.
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    you arent' alone at all!!! my family has been at me for years about her diagnosis's, questioning it, every parenting thing and style, etc. they recently shut up for a bit when this new disorder hit. yet they caught their breaths and are crawling up my butt yet again.

    there truly should be a book out for ppl like this. either how not to be one or how to deal with-them. ya think??

    great coping skill on your part. yea as parents we can blow a situation right out of the water, i know i've done it before and than after say wow if i had just taken a mom time out all mite of worked out better!!! :)
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm still working on the mom time out thing, kiddo didn't get her temper or lack of patience out of the blue, that's for sure. But being able to look at it as something she truly can't help fully (I won't deny she uses it to manipulate sometimes, but I'm getting better at telling when she is really beyond coherent thought) helps me pull back a bit and give her the space/time she needs to get her brain back in the proper gear, and I've been learning a lot here about which battles are really worth a meltdown and which ones I should let be handled by "natural consequences". My main worry there is that she won't handle those too well at school when its the effect of her refusing to do homework, but I'll cross that when we get there (again). I read a lot more here than I reply to, and sometimes I just don't know what to say.