My Mothers day gift

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, May 12, 2013.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    The threat of a restraining order. How lovely....

    She called to say happy mothers day, sounded like she has been crying, and of course continues to blame me for everything and that she is still in jail. She said the person evaluating her said he was sorry she had a mother that was so intrusive on her life. She told me that my help was wrong, etc. She told me that she is greeting a restraining order so I can have nothing to do with her or the baby.

    Gee, happy Mothers day...all while I am out with easy child trying to have some fun shopping. Just not feeling it now.... :-(
  2. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    ((hugs hugs)) ... I'm so sorry - difficult child's really know how to twist the knife into your back. I hope you can have a peaceful remainder of the day with easy child.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry PG. I hope you can try to have a nice day with easy child. I know how hard it is to block the bad stuff out but I hope you can for a few hours today. difficult child will come around someday when she realizes you are just trying to get her help.
  4. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Hugs PG.
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    *HUGS* hon.
  6. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone....I ended up going out for a fabulous dinner with my boys. :)

    Baby daddy texted me a happy mothers day. Said he hated how this was going to sound, but things have been going really well for him since difficult child has been locked up. Hmm, tell you something? She is toxic and always will be... :-(
  8. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member

    I'm sorry PG...hope you had fun out w easy child
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Hugs PG. I hope you had a fun time with easy child, and had a nice dinner.
  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Oh PG - you and I both need to detach right now.

    She should not be able to get an RO unless she can convince a judge you are a physical threat to her which given the circumstances I think is unlikely.... she is full of very hot air. But it hurts all the same.

    I am glad you had a nice dinner with husband and easy child.

  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah, right, I'm sure that is that is just what the evaluator said. Sheesh, why do all difficult child's try to pull the same stuff. I am sure that the evaluator was much more concerned about what type a mother a meth addict would be.

    Stay strong in the knowledge that you are doing the right thing even if your difficult child doesn't see it that way right now.

  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    The guilty feeling only lasted a very short time and then my resolve came back. Carol Burnett's words ring through my head - "I had to love her enough to let her hate me.". This is exactly how I feel and I have faith that she will forgive me one day.

    I told baby daddy - despite the fact that they think I am crazy and/or dumb, he is already proving what I was hoping would happen. I was hoping that she would get the help she needs to be a better mother for Connor and I was hoping without her distractions, that he would begin building the foundation of a better life for her and Connor to be welcomed in to. He says he is doing better....she did mention that she had her evaluation and was waiting to hear whether she had been accepted or not. I am hoping that meant that she will go into the program despite her saying it is the wrong kind of help, etc...
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: And... Yeah, I'm SUUUUURRRRRE the evaluator said that. She's full of it.

    I'm glad your day got better!!!
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Quite a few days I copied MLK and repeated in my head "We Shall Overcome" "Someday". Keep the faith, my friend.
  15. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Oh and this FACADE that I have to carry on Facebook and with husband's family...KILLS me. It is SO not who I am. I am brutally honest. I HATE, HATE, HATE lying to husband's family just so his parents don't worry. On Mother's Day I told my inlaws that their great grandchild is going to be a boy. They are overjoyed. mother in law wants an address to send gifts. HA. So she asked if they were still in that "group" home. "Yes, mom, they are still there and deciding where they are going to raise baby once he comes". LIES. All of it... :(
  16. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG, husband and I had to get a restraining order (temporary protection order) against our difficult child last December to get her out of our house and off to rehab. They are not easy to get. You have to fill out a multi-page report, sit and wait until a judge can see you, and prove that you believe you are in immediate physical harm. In our case, the fact that difficult child was bringing heroin into our home clinched the deal for the judge.

    Your difficult child wouldn't stand a chance of getting a TPO. She is all mouth.

  17. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I'm so sorry, PG.
  18. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I can picture her telling the judge she needs a restraining order because I keep trying to help Um yeah. I totally kept my cool the whole time on the phone, though, and simply told her to do what she feels she has to. It's nice - the guilt comes but fades a LOT quicker than it used to! I know that as long as she is there, little Connor is safe and HE is my major concern at the moment...