My niece is coming to live with us.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    My niece, K, who will turn 20 this coming tax day lost her father to cancer a couple of weeks after husband died. My ex-brother in law was a proud stubborn man who dictated the terms of his life & his death.

    K spent the last year of ex-brother in law's life caring for him in no way that a young woman of that age should. My sister did her best to guide K & counsel her; K felt that she knew best for her dad & did her best to care for him.

    Since her dad died K has been lost ~ she's used to being a caretaker & cannot seem to get back on track. K along my other niece, her sister T have been planning on moving to my neck of the woods this coming summer. My sister called me the other night in tears because K is just so lost. She asked if K could come & stay with me & kt ~ just to give her a new start. I told her that K would be welcome with open arms & would be a good role model for kt. The fact that they both lost their father & can talk about that to each other will be good.

    K will be coming to town next weekend to discuss the rules & what would be expected of her. She called to ask me if she could take kt out to lunch that Sunday before she heads back home.

    So K will be moving in mid April. She's willing to pitch in & help me keep this house cleaned. To run any errands I cannot on any given day.

    I hope/pray this will be good for both K & kt. These 2 young women need some joy, some normalcy in their young lives.
  2. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    That is really good news, it sounds like a perfect plan for everyone. -Alyssa
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Totally, totally good news!!! For everyone!!!
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    When one door closes, another opens. I think this is just a win/win situation. This just sounds wonderful. I'm glad that you will have a family member in the house to help you out. No, not just glad, I'm relieved, actually.
  5. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    That sounds like a wonderful idea.
  6. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    What a needed blessing for all. My fingers are crossed that it works out beautifully for all 3 of you.
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I am so glad that you can all be such a support for each other. It works out well for everyone involved. You get some help. K gets a new start. And kt gets another role model.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Linda it sounds like a wonderful plan. :)

    Keeping fingers crossed and holding good thoughts that it works out well for all of you.

  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Linda, that sounds like a wonderful arrangement for you all! K sounds like a great young lady with her feet planted firmly on the ground and I'm sure the two girls will be a comfort to each other. And at the same time, it gives you another adult in the house to lend a helping hand. I'm very happy for all of you. :D
  10. ML

    ML Guest

    This is awesome news! How amazing it is too.
  11. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Sounds great---my only worry is that you're bringing a young lady with "take care of everyone" issues into a situation where there are people (your health, the loss of your husband, kt's issues)to "save". Is she going to be able to unlearn her i-come-last habits, and learn to be independent and care for her own needs at your place? :) I know you'd never encourage that, but do you think she can live at your home and leave that behind?
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Linda, that's awesome. I hope it works out. Serendipity, indeed.
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    One main question...does niece have any even teeny tiny itzy bitzy difficult child tendencies? Be still my heart. If not: awesome! This can and should be wonderful!
    You could use the help and comraderie (sp?). Kinda makes you feel all warm inside just thinking about the positives.
    Good thoughts and prayers that this will be good for you, K and KT. :D
  14. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I agree...that sounds like a possible win-win-win situation! Niece gets to be somewhere safe to figure things out, Kt gets a good influence with the additional plus of it being someone she can relate to in terms of both having lost their fathers, and you get someone to help out or at least be there if something FALLING!

    I'm sure it will be a huge relief for you (and US!) to have someone else there.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This sounds really good. I'm hoping that this works out for both k and kt, it could really be a positive experience for both. I'm also glad you will have more support. Hugs.
  16. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Fingers and toes crossed!!!
    I am so excited for all of the possibilities and am not going to let any negative seep in!
  17. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    This seems like it will be a great idea.

  18. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I share eeky's concerns, but have faith that you are sensitive to this and will do your utmost to help her learn to value herself for who she is, rather than what she can do for other people.

    This could be a win-win.

  19. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Linda, I'm holding a good thought that this works out well for everyone.

  20. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I told my sister that I didn't want K to come up here to become a care taker or to go off the deep end in another direction. For free rent I expect help about the house, some errand running, etc. I don't expect much - however given the tweedles I've learned to lower my expectations.

    K & her sister are coming up this coming weekend to discuss the "terms" of K's tenancy here. She's really pysched to get a new start. I told her I would like to see her take time for herself ~ to get a part of the year she cared for her father back. Take a bike & go riding around the lake nearby here. Go check out the museums & libraries, the local zoos & such. K would like to develop a close relationship with kt ~ fine by me.

    I just don't want K to step in & try to take care of or run the household because that's what she's used to doing. I take care of what needs to be done around here. She can pitch in with some things but I expect her to be out looking for a job & having a bit of fun before her sister moves up here this summer & they get their apartment together.

    I feel positive about this. It will feel good to have family in town. Both K & T have called me to let me know they are moving to town & can count on them in an emergency to step up for kt or anything else. That's a relief.