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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 754377" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Daisy,</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for your bad news about your parents. You don't sound like you are faulting either of them and that is good. They are grown adults and I'm sorry if your Dad is devastated but maybe he did see it coming but refused to acknowledge it. Your Dad will get through this but these things take time to heal. It's not usually a quick recovery and everyone gets through it at their own pace and depending on their own mental health and well being. Be there to support him and listen to him and that will be the biggest help you can do.</p><p></p><p>You mention your parents were enablers of your own daughter. I am a recovering enabler and often times we "stuff" our problems and feelings by trying to fix everyone else's lives. Maybe that's a little of what was going on there.</p><p></p><p>I was married 30 yrs. to an alcoholic and divorced 2 yrs. ago. All through my two sons (30 & 26) lives I enabled them because to some degree I hurt so bad that I wanted at least them to be and feel better. and/or makeup for the difficulties they went through with an alcoholic father. That doesn't work. I've found out the hard way. I am on my own path to recovery which at first felt selfish. My sons are homeless and unable to take care of themselves. I tried to the tune of thousands of dollars to rescue them and help them get on their feet but so far to no avail. My ex-husband has spent the last 2 yrs. in and out of hospitals and recovery centers and now has psychological issues. We have to turn them over to God and the sooner we realize that the better.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs during this difficult time...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 754377, member: 23405"] Daisy, I'm sorry for your bad news about your parents. You don't sound like you are faulting either of them and that is good. They are grown adults and I'm sorry if your Dad is devastated but maybe he did see it coming but refused to acknowledge it. Your Dad will get through this but these things take time to heal. It's not usually a quick recovery and everyone gets through it at their own pace and depending on their own mental health and well being. Be there to support him and listen to him and that will be the biggest help you can do. You mention your parents were enablers of your own daughter. I am a recovering enabler and often times we "stuff" our problems and feelings by trying to fix everyone else's lives. Maybe that's a little of what was going on there. I was married 30 yrs. to an alcoholic and divorced 2 yrs. ago. All through my two sons (30 & 26) lives I enabled them because to some degree I hurt so bad that I wanted at least them to be and feel better. and/or makeup for the difficulties they went through with an alcoholic father. That doesn't work. I've found out the hard way. I am on my own path to recovery which at first felt selfish. My sons are homeless and unable to take care of themselves. I tried to the tune of thousands of dollars to rescue them and help them get on their feet but so far to no avail. My ex-husband has spent the last 2 yrs. in and out of hospitals and recovery centers and now has psychological issues. We have to turn them over to God and the sooner we realize that the better. Sending hugs during this difficult time... [/QUOTE]
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