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MY penny dropped!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631928" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>That's huge. I'm so glad you know now. And I think that it is that way with most of our grown kids, although some still want money for whatever they use it for...mostly likely drugs and alcohol. They are adults and perfectly capable of finding help if they really wanted to change. People seek out help for change from drug use all the time. People quit. Until they want to, they won't, but they may make us think they want to quit if they feel it will benefit them. And, as I plough through my books about psychopaths and antisocial personality disorder, yes, that is typical. They are fantastic actors and they DON'T LIKE TO WORK and if they do work often steal or scam to get easy/extra money. They don't feel that laws apply tot hem and have no guilt at all about breaking them and they trample on the rights of others without conscience. I often wonder how many of our adult children are antisocial personality disordered, but it is such an extreme diagnosis, one that can't be fixed, that most of us try to hang onto believing it is not our adult child who has this. So we try hard to believe that our adult child is just that way due to drug use or another mental illness that is more treatable, and sometimes that's true, sometimes it isn't.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad you are finally free to live your own life and to stop trying to fix his. It was actually very kind of him to tell you the truth. That is QUITE a gift. He let YOU go and now YOU can go on with your own life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631928, member: 1550"] That's huge. I'm so glad you know now. And I think that it is that way with most of our grown kids, although some still want money for whatever they use it for...mostly likely drugs and alcohol. They are adults and perfectly capable of finding help if they really wanted to change. People seek out help for change from drug use all the time. People quit. Until they want to, they won't, but they may make us think they want to quit if they feel it will benefit them. And, as I plough through my books about psychopaths and antisocial personality disorder, yes, that is typical. They are fantastic actors and they DON'T LIKE TO WORK and if they do work often steal or scam to get easy/extra money. They don't feel that laws apply tot hem and have no guilt at all about breaking them and they trample on the rights of others without conscience. I often wonder how many of our adult children are antisocial personality disordered, but it is such an extreme diagnosis, one that can't be fixed, that most of us try to hang onto believing it is not our adult child who has this. So we try hard to believe that our adult child is just that way due to drug use or another mental illness that is more treatable, and sometimes that's true, sometimes it isn't. I am so glad you are finally free to live your own life and to stop trying to fix his. It was actually very kind of him to tell you the truth. That is QUITE a gift. He let YOU go and now YOU can go on with your own life. [/QUOTE]
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