My Poor easy child

[Hound dog]

First the whole nasty thing about the loan they co-signed for. by the way, they're being taken to court over it soon.

Now tonight easy child calls me from work bawling. It takes ALOT to make my easy child cry, most especially in public. So I knew immediately something was very wrong.

She told me she absolutely despises her job at the hospital. I asked her what had happened. She said they keep writing her up all of the time and she keeps getting yelled at.

Now the first time I know about. easy child had 2 codes that night and had forgotten to give 1 pt a medication before she left. easy child admitted that she had forgotten, and explained why. She took full responsibility. Thankfully the medication wasn't that important of one. BUT the day nurse didn't even NOTICE he hadn't gotten this medication til SHE was about to leave herself! And she should've passed medications to him at least once during her shift. But she wasn't repromanded for not picking up on the fact that the medication hadn't been given.

Well, easy child says that now they're writing her up for everything now. All stupid little things that any human being can either forget or do. Most days she goes in she dreads it because she knows they'll have found something else to write her up for and yell about. These are all other things the other nurses have done too but NOT gotten written up for or even talked to about.

easy child has lost count of how many times she's caught that a nurse before her forgot to depense a medication or do a treatment. After they started treating her like this, she's started turning them in for it. But none of them get written up or repromanded.

The straw that broke the camel's back tonite was that last night easy child had a patient that had a tendency to toss and turn. Said patient is on oxygen and an IV. Now bare in mind that easy child usually has up to 10-12 other patients. When she went to work tonite she discovered she'd been written up AGAIN because this patient had tangled himself up in his oxygen and IV lines!

I'm sorry but I'd have told them off.

When you have that many patients, and most of them critically ill, you can't spend the night in a single patient's room to make sure he doesn't get himself tangled in his lines. easy child did check on him several times and he was fine.

Now I've worked in hospitals in my younger days. I think they're trying to get easy child to quit. And I told her so. Somehow she's managed to get on someone bad side. (hard to believe cuz easy child can get along with anyone)

Now I'm not saying that having your pt twisted up in their lines probably wouldn't get you spoken to, but a write up is a bit over the top.

easy child is ready to walk. I reminded her that she can't afford to, not with that darn co-sign loan hanging over their heads. I told her to go to her Director of Nursing about this. What they're writing her up for can't be serious because good grief, she'd be fired by now! This is mostly harrassment. And if she doesn't stick up for herself they're not going to stop til she quits.

But what I'm also wondering......easy child works full time 12 hr shifts on nights, goes to school full time during the day, and is Mom and wife after about 4-5 hrs of sleep. So I'm wondering if maybe it has started taking it's toll on her. Her job is mega stressful. Little mistakes are easy to make when your exhausted, and easy child is exhausted most of the time.

Now being a doctor is her dream. She's determined to make it happen. But I think she's stretching herself too thin, trying to be superwife,Mom, and Nurse, as well as student.

I want to talk to her about this. But I don't want it to sound like I'm against her. (cuz I'm not) I just want her to look at this whole thing objectively and be able to decide if she's bitten off more than she can handle. I think she's going to be forced to choose soon between the job and the dream. And there is no way she can afford to lose the job at this point. :frown:

I've always been proud of easy child for being an overachiever. But there are times when it's a bad thing, too. I think maybe this is one of those times. It just stinks.

She's coming over after work in the morning.

Sigh.

 

[timer lady]

Lisa,

It does sound like easy child is running on empty. Lack of sleep contributes to huge losses (in every industry), poor work habits, & everything in between.

I'm not saying that easy child wasn't doing her job - it just sounds like she needs to go down to part time day shift a couple of times a week or take on the weekend shift.

School can be put on hold; I can't imaging studying to become a doctor, while parenting 2 children, being a partner in a marriage plus holding down a full time job.

husband just recently left his second job (teaching - his dream job; loves to teach) because it was putting a strain on our family situation, our marriage & his health. He wasn't sleeping well & was making "dumb" (his word) mistakes at work. He decided he couldn't put everything at risk & resigned. Saying that, he'll be looking for another position that's on this end of town & just one class a week not 3.

I'd approach this gently with easy child. She's in no way failing if she has to cut her work hours or her class hours. It may take longer to achieve her dream. Dreams have no time line. That's what make dreams a beautiful thing.

 

[busywend]

Yes, believe it or not there is always a work around that is better than giving up the dream.
She needs to open her eyes and be realistic about how much any one person can take on. This does seem over the top and impossible for anyone to make happen smoothly.

Can she look for another nursing job somewhere else before she gets fired?

 

[Fran]

Lisa, remind easy child that medication school won't accept her if she is fired for poor nursing practice. Missing a medication is a big deal. Being written up is a big deal. If she is over tired mistakes will happen and/or she will over react to correction.
I can't even fathom full time work with full time school with a toddler. It's the craziest thing to think a crash won't happen. She may be an over achiever in her mind but the limits of this intellectually and physically are very real.
School part time, work part time may be the answer until her batteries recharge. The theory of Supermom/wife/employee/student all at the same time are a myth and not something one should aspire to anyhow. The amount of sleep she is getting isn't healthy. As a nurse she should know about the limits of one's body.

Shouldn't she be highly regarded in the work she does? Even if she is getting incorrectly pegged as a problem employee, she needs to deal with it and make a reasonable decision about what to do to correct it. Walking out is not a good choice without understanding consequences. It can follow her. Sometimes a new job and a fresh start is a better way to go but she has to realize the highest paying jobs are the ones that are most physical, most demanding and one's other don't want to do. Maybe a less stressful job will help her out a bit.

I would probably ask her if she sees choices for herself and how she will achieve her goals.

She is a smart girl and a hard worker but now she needs to work on problem solving, wisdom and planning.

 

[crazymama30]

It sounds fishy to me that they wrote her up for her pt being tangled in his IV lines. She has no control over that, and if she is an RN with 10-12 pts that is outrageous!!! I am a CNA and I have 8-10 pts, and the nurses I work with have 3-5 depending on acuity. Is she a new grad? Does she need mentoring? Another option if she is just being picked on, is she a member of a union? If so she should contact her union rep.

Maybe she could transfer to a different department, some are better to work in than others.

 

[Hound dog]

easy child hasn't come over yet this morning. I don't know whether she might have had to stay over and speak to her head nurse or if she stayed to talk with the Director of Nursing.

Fran you said it well. Yes, I'm worried she's going to make a serious mistake and will also ruin her chances at her dream.

Getting easy child to realize she has limits like everyone else has never been easy. I doubt it will be this time, too.

Somehow I've got to make easy child understand the safety of her patients are at stake as well as her dream. And she can do it on a part time basis, just will take longer.

She's gonna take it hard. She always sees it as a failure, even when it isn't. At least til later down the road when she can see the difference.

I'm not looking forward to this. :frown: