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Parent Emeritus
my problem, not grave or scary
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 628366" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I don't think your story is pale. I think it is heart wrenching. </p><p></p><p>I don't know why they don't care about stuff...I realized just this year that my difficult child doesn't have a single thing I've given him. All the ipods, the phones, yes the ipads, the drumsets, the warm clothes, the gloves, the backpacks to keep his stuff in...nothing. Where did it go? Why did I do it? I don't know anymore. </p><p></p><p>I don't object at all to your washing her clothes once, or more if you have to. I don't object to your mailing her forms or making her calls for her. She sounds horribly depressed. You should do what you feel you need to and can...in the place where THAT FEELS OK TO YOU AND YOU DON"T RESENT IT. </p><p></p><p>Don't let your choices to help her negatively impact your work life or job performance.</p><p>DOn't let your choices to help her impinge on your other loving relationships.</p><p>Don't let your choices to help her compromise or endanger you financially.</p><p></p><p>Within those parameters, do what you must, Mom. It is helpful to me to be able to look back and say "I tried everything. Left no stone unturned." None of us want to have regrets.</p><p></p><p>I don't see these small things as enabling. I see them as you picking a careful path of love and concern.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, mom. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you came back to us. </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 628366, member: 17269"] I don't think your story is pale. I think it is heart wrenching. I don't know why they don't care about stuff...I realized just this year that my difficult child doesn't have a single thing I've given him. All the ipods, the phones, yes the ipads, the drumsets, the warm clothes, the gloves, the backpacks to keep his stuff in...nothing. Where did it go? Why did I do it? I don't know anymore. I don't object at all to your washing her clothes once, or more if you have to. I don't object to your mailing her forms or making her calls for her. She sounds horribly depressed. You should do what you feel you need to and can...in the place where THAT FEELS OK TO YOU AND YOU DON"T RESENT IT. Don't let your choices to help her negatively impact your work life or job performance. DOn't let your choices to help her impinge on your other loving relationships. Don't let your choices to help her compromise or endanger you financially. Within those parameters, do what you must, Mom. It is helpful to me to be able to look back and say "I tried everything. Left no stone unturned." None of us want to have regrets. I don't see these small things as enabling. I see them as you picking a careful path of love and concern. Good luck, mom. I'm glad you came back to us. Echo [/QUOTE]
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