My serial pedophile father just confessed to me in writing

[DDD]

May I make a suggestion? I have no experience in this area but I know how deeply emotional family issues can be...even when they are based on insults, money etc. that are far less important than your issue.

I strongly suggest that you start a journal and record each contact. It will allow you to vent, and it will be a documented record of events. Conversations and written communications can get all messed up when high emotions are involved. Different people"hear" different things..even though the words are the same. What you share with me verbatim could throw a family member into a panic. If the Mom and your sister are trying to blend communication...well, it can't work well because they have two different relationshps with you and their receptors are unique.

I may be wrong (yes, I do mean that..I don't know) but in your eagerness to protect your sister and the increditble emotions you are experiencing it "might" be best to cut back on your efforts to explain. Your sister now knows there is a safety issue.
Her Mom now is on alert to make sure she doesn't lose her daughter. The authorities are on alert and by Monday will be more on alert. Maybe it would be best just to journal and pray for the best. You don't want your newly found sister to feel that she has to choose between you and her Mom. Your gut tells you that she cares for you and knows that you love her. I think a little break in communication might help you all. Very caring hugs coming your way. DDD

 

[Mattsmom277]

DDD, you have a lot of merit to your words. I'm uber cautious in what I've said and when my sister insisted on the new "story", I did just as you recommended which is excellent advice at this point. I simply said "okay J" and we have not touched the topic again. We have talked about her new hair do, her sleepover with her best friend, joked about stuff and kept it light. She was at her friends messaging but it is obvious for various reasons and things that cropped up that came to my awareness tonight that if she's with her mom at home, she won't be contacting me. She has to do what she has to do and I completely understand how a 13 year old is going to obey her mother and act accordingly and thats okay. I did feel I had to at least try to give an idea of what the issue was initially after it all hit the fan due to the vileness of the comments from the mother and other sister and my sisters confusion she expressed and anger etc. I wasn't going to sit back and not say anything and let her think she's got the whole picture and that she was mistaken about me and that I wasn't to be trusted at all and that I had someone tricked her into believing I had her best interests at heart while I was actually out to hurt her. But when it was obvious she knew that and that she also believed her mothers versions of things etc, I was more than happy to just go back to the normal conversations she and I usually have and both enjoy very much.

Tuesday offices are back to work after the long weekend and agencies will be playing their role and doing their jobs and I know their interests are in my sisters best interests. I have to just have faith that they will act in whatever fashion helps my sister to some degree. At this point, I am going to have to just focus on giving the crown what he needs to do what needs to be done about our father. I worry for my sister yet I do feel good knowing that pig is in no way going to risk trying to access her at this time and that was my main goal and it was accomplished. I feel very good about that. This mother on the other hand? I am reminding myself she loves my sister very much and trying to just realize that some people don't cope well under pressure, might handle things in a way I would never and that it may well mean it emotionally affects my sister negatively. But she is eating and not being preyed upon and these are good things, tangible things. Her mother is always going to be her mother and always probably react to big things in ways I would not and hate that my sister must be affected by. But that is not in my power to change today anymore than it was not in my power before all this hit the fan on Thursday. That's how I'm trying to keep straight about it all anyhow if that makes sense.

You're a wise woman DDD

 

[DDD]

We're all on your team! Hugs. DDD