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My son called to tell me the liver clinic threw him out finally.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 668518" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I'm sorry Copa. It is so hard to sit and watch them do one more thing, 10 more things, to dig their own hole deeper. </p><p></p><p>To sit and listen to this brings on the worst kind of despair.</p><p></p><p>We want to...do something...take some kind of action...because doing something provides a focus for the helplessness we feel. </p><p></p><p>Sitting with that helplessness is very hard to do. Very hard.</p><p></p><p>That is why for so many years we take that one more action. Because we can't stand not to.</p><p></p><p>Kindly and gently, I suggest that calling the social worker just engages you more in a battle you can't win. A battle you really can't even influence. </p><p></p><p>If he regrets his choice, he can call the social worker and plead his case. If they agree, then he has skin in the game. He has made something happen for himself. </p><p></p><p>You do it and it's your skin, not his. And once again,nothing changes if nothing changes.</p><p></p><p>I can imagine how scared you are for him and his health. I have felt that way too about Difficult Child.</p><p></p><p>If you can, use your energy around this to feel your feelings, every last bitter one of them. Let them flow through you and flood you. They will not kill you and they will dissipate in a matter of hours or days. On the other side is healing. Healing for you and more acceptance of what is.</p><p></p><p>We cannot live another person's life for them. We want to so badly, so desperately, but we can't. It just never works.</p><p></p><p>What he does or doesn't do is not about you at all. It is all about him. He will do whatever he does until he doesn't. You're not in this game.</p><p></p><p>It took him a long time to walk into the forest. It is going to take the same long time for him to walk out, once he begins. Calling that social worker himself, if given the chance, might be a first step for him.</p><p></p><p>I am truly sorry. I pray you can continue to move toward peace, contentment and serenity by letting go of this situation as much as you are able to.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 668518, member: 17542"] I'm sorry Copa. It is so hard to sit and watch them do one more thing, 10 more things, to dig their own hole deeper. To sit and listen to this brings on the worst kind of despair. We want to...do something...take some kind of action...because doing something provides a focus for the helplessness we feel. Sitting with that helplessness is very hard to do. Very hard. That is why for so many years we take that one more action. Because we can't stand not to. Kindly and gently, I suggest that calling the social worker just engages you more in a battle you can't win. A battle you really can't even influence. If he regrets his choice, he can call the social worker and plead his case. If they agree, then he has skin in the game. He has made something happen for himself. You do it and it's your skin, not his. And once again,nothing changes if nothing changes. I can imagine how scared you are for him and his health. I have felt that way too about Difficult Child. If you can, use your energy around this to feel your feelings, every last bitter one of them. Let them flow through you and flood you. They will not kill you and they will dissipate in a matter of hours or days. On the other side is healing. Healing for you and more acceptance of what is. We cannot live another person's life for them. We want to so badly, so desperately, but we can't. It just never works. What he does or doesn't do is not about you at all. It is all about him. He will do whatever he does until he doesn't. You're not in this game. It took him a long time to walk into the forest. It is going to take the same long time for him to walk out, once he begins. Calling that social worker himself, if given the chance, might be a first step for him. I am truly sorry. I pray you can continue to move toward peace, contentment and serenity by letting go of this situation as much as you are able to. Warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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My son called to tell me the liver clinic threw him out finally.
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