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Substance Abuse
My son chose the streets
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattie" data-source="post: 635184" data-attributes="member: 18360"><p>Wow, Thank you all for such a warm welcome. Honestly I hadn't even thought to introduce myself or look at my profile or any of that. My mind has been so pre-occupied with all that is going on. The stress I am under right now has been enormous. Not just with my son living in the streets. I do need Therapy for myself. Just to have someone to talk with, to vent and release these tears and pent up frustrations. </p><p></p><p>On July 17th I had a complete Hysterectomy with removal of my ovaries. In 2012 I had a tubal ligation that resulted in premature ovarian failure due to the blood supply being cut off. I gained 40 pounds within 4 months of the surgery. Started having horrid mood swings, Dsyfunctional Uterin Bleeding as well among about 50 other symptoms. My end result after one treatment after another was to have this done. My son was a great help while I was recovering. So sweet to me. Then during this recovery, I had to quit my job so we lost my income. My best friend of 27 years passed away unexpectedly and another good friend committed suicide. Now my son is doing this and my nerves are simply shot. </p><p></p><p>It is not all about me and I understand that. He continuously tells me that I make it all about me. He says it is my fault he is the way he is. I didn't love him enough, I loved him too much.. I stuck him in front of a TV or gave him too many gifts. I talked to him too much about the dangers of the world and scared him, I didn't teach him enough. It is always something and it is always my fault. He speaks of suicide often. He blames someone else for all of his problems. Mostly me or his stepfather. I know it's not all about me but I sure wish I had googled a site like this a long time ago. I need support. I need therapy and I need people who understand to talk to. </p><p></p><p>I know he is manipulating me. I have finally realized that and that by loving him too much I have enabled him. I am not enabling him any longer. He said to me yesterday when he came home for a few more of his items.. how does it feel mom! You thought I was #### joking didn't you! Well whose laughing now! That's how he talks to me and worse. I taught him better than that. I know I did. </p><p></p><p>I am looking for a new PCD for myself and a therapist as well. I don't drink or do drugs but I am still recovering from major surgery. My incision split open the first week at home and it has set my recovery back some. I also started HRT two weeks ago so I am not always the friendliest of people at the moment and unfortunately my son doesn't understand that. I suppose my problems is what finally made me stop taking his abuse. I told my husband that if he isn't working or in school that I couldn't handle being at home with him during the day. If I can't turn the TV on or clean my house because it will wake him up and he will stomp and yell or grit his teeth at me then I would leave the house during the day. My husband said no way.. this is your house too and you shouldn't have to walk on egg shells around him. </p><p></p><p>He actually slapped my daughter across her face while she was holding her baby and he said the #### deserved it. I don't know where we went wrong but I am so thankful to have this site to come to for support. Thank you all so much. I read each of your stories and it helps knowing that I am not alone. It's sad, but it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattie, post: 635184, member: 18360"] Wow, Thank you all for such a warm welcome. Honestly I hadn't even thought to introduce myself or look at my profile or any of that. My mind has been so pre-occupied with all that is going on. The stress I am under right now has been enormous. Not just with my son living in the streets. I do need Therapy for myself. Just to have someone to talk with, to vent and release these tears and pent up frustrations. On July 17th I had a complete Hysterectomy with removal of my ovaries. In 2012 I had a tubal ligation that resulted in premature ovarian failure due to the blood supply being cut off. I gained 40 pounds within 4 months of the surgery. Started having horrid mood swings, Dsyfunctional Uterin Bleeding as well among about 50 other symptoms. My end result after one treatment after another was to have this done. My son was a great help while I was recovering. So sweet to me. Then during this recovery, I had to quit my job so we lost my income. My best friend of 27 years passed away unexpectedly and another good friend committed suicide. Now my son is doing this and my nerves are simply shot. It is not all about me and I understand that. He continuously tells me that I make it all about me. He says it is my fault he is the way he is. I didn't love him enough, I loved him too much.. I stuck him in front of a TV or gave him too many gifts. I talked to him too much about the dangers of the world and scared him, I didn't teach him enough. It is always something and it is always my fault. He speaks of suicide often. He blames someone else for all of his problems. Mostly me or his stepfather. I know it's not all about me but I sure wish I had googled a site like this a long time ago. I need support. I need therapy and I need people who understand to talk to. I know he is manipulating me. I have finally realized that and that by loving him too much I have enabled him. I am not enabling him any longer. He said to me yesterday when he came home for a few more of his items.. how does it feel mom! You thought I was #### joking didn't you! Well whose laughing now! That's how he talks to me and worse. I taught him better than that. I know I did. I am looking for a new PCD for myself and a therapist as well. I don't drink or do drugs but I am still recovering from major surgery. My incision split open the first week at home and it has set my recovery back some. I also started HRT two weeks ago so I am not always the friendliest of people at the moment and unfortunately my son doesn't understand that. I suppose my problems is what finally made me stop taking his abuse. I told my husband that if he isn't working or in school that I couldn't handle being at home with him during the day. If I can't turn the TV on or clean my house because it will wake him up and he will stomp and yell or grit his teeth at me then I would leave the house during the day. My husband said no way.. this is your house too and you shouldn't have to walk on egg shells around him. He actually slapped my daughter across her face while she was holding her baby and he said the #### deserved it. I don't know where we went wrong but I am so thankful to have this site to come to for support. Thank you all so much. I read each of your stories and it helps knowing that I am not alone. It's sad, but it helps. [/QUOTE]
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