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My Son is a Pedophile....
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<blockquote data-quote="Otto von Bismark" data-source="post: 627326" data-attributes="member: 12905"><p>By the way, we have an open dialogue about sex. We have talked about the possibility of him being touched when he was young. He doesn't remember anything, but it came up as "highly likely" in his psychological testing that he had. We have talked about gay/straight/transgender which is all they seem to talk about at his school these days. We have talked about what that means. When he was younger he thought he was gay because kids called him gay. He had a cleft palate and has a nasally speaking voice which is odd -- yes we have tried speech therapy for it. He thought that because someone called him gay, he must be gay. He also said he wants to be one of the guys but can't ( he doesn't play sports other than swimming, guys don't want to hang out with him), but he wants to be a part of the guy world in some way so, in his mind, his longing means he must be attracted to them. We are not sure if this is actually his sexuality, or if autism and his limited reasoning makes him thing this is his sexuality.</p><p> He also says he is mad because girls don't like him and he sees no way to ever get a girl friend. </p><p>But....we talk about it all. We talk about his compulsive masturbation. We talk about what it takes to be in a relationship. We talk about what happens when the police catch someone with child porn. We talk about how even the cartoon images are illegal in the US. We talk about what jail is like. We talk about AIDS. </p><p></p><p>One other thing that has come of this so far is we have removed him from his special-ed private school because he tried to get a younger boy, who is fairly impaired, to masturbate in front of him in the bathroom. This school was better for him in some respects, because the kids were like him and he had a social life and friends. He was accepted and he loved going to school every day. But, it is also very small and K-12 and we didn't want him to be near younger children, so for 9th grade he went to the local public school, which is huge, and filled with about 70% low-income, free lunch, ESL kids. Very rough place, but it is where he is zoned and we are pretty sure he could not abuse anyone in there. The downside is he hates it, has no friends, is miserable and failing most of his classes. He wants to quit school. He has been exposed to drugs, and is regularly bullied and rejected. Very sad situation, but, we did this to protect other kids from his potential as an abuser. </p><p></p><p>We told him this is a natural consequence of what he did to the boy at his other school. This is what happens. by the way, I tried to get the school and the parents of the boy to press charges, but both declined. </p><p></p><p>All of this pretty much wrecks me. I am trying to stay calm and find ways to de-stress. It is usually exercise, but I have developed a second autoimmune disease that has had me down and out for a couple of months. I am dreading summer, because it is very hot where we live and my son does not have anywhere to go or anything to do for summer. He can't go to a camp (younger kids), he is probably not ready for a job, though he has applied for a few. He has no friends. We told one place that he would need to be kept away from younger children and they suddenly found their program to be full. This is all so discouraging. Frankly, I am sick of being with him all the time, because when he is not in school, we are with him ALL THE TIME. It's like house arrest for all of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Otto von Bismark, post: 627326, member: 12905"] By the way, we have an open dialogue about sex. We have talked about the possibility of him being touched when he was young. He doesn't remember anything, but it came up as "highly likely" in his psychological testing that he had. We have talked about gay/straight/transgender which is all they seem to talk about at his school these days. We have talked about what that means. When he was younger he thought he was gay because kids called him gay. He had a cleft palate and has a nasally speaking voice which is odd -- yes we have tried speech therapy for it. He thought that because someone called him gay, he must be gay. He also said he wants to be one of the guys but can't ( he doesn't play sports other than swimming, guys don't want to hang out with him), but he wants to be a part of the guy world in some way so, in his mind, his longing means he must be attracted to them. We are not sure if this is actually his sexuality, or if autism and his limited reasoning makes him thing this is his sexuality. He also says he is mad because girls don't like him and he sees no way to ever get a girl friend. But....we talk about it all. We talk about his compulsive masturbation. We talk about what it takes to be in a relationship. We talk about what happens when the police catch someone with child porn. We talk about how even the cartoon images are illegal in the US. We talk about what jail is like. We talk about AIDS. One other thing that has come of this so far is we have removed him from his special-ed private school because he tried to get a younger boy, who is fairly impaired, to masturbate in front of him in the bathroom. This school was better for him in some respects, because the kids were like him and he had a social life and friends. He was accepted and he loved going to school every day. But, it is also very small and K-12 and we didn't want him to be near younger children, so for 9th grade he went to the local public school, which is huge, and filled with about 70% low-income, free lunch, ESL kids. Very rough place, but it is where he is zoned and we are pretty sure he could not abuse anyone in there. The downside is he hates it, has no friends, is miserable and failing most of his classes. He wants to quit school. He has been exposed to drugs, and is regularly bullied and rejected. Very sad situation, but, we did this to protect other kids from his potential as an abuser. We told him this is a natural consequence of what he did to the boy at his other school. This is what happens. by the way, I tried to get the school and the parents of the boy to press charges, but both declined. All of this pretty much wrecks me. I am trying to stay calm and find ways to de-stress. It is usually exercise, but I have developed a second autoimmune disease that has had me down and out for a couple of months. I am dreading summer, because it is very hot where we live and my son does not have anywhere to go or anything to do for summer. He can't go to a camp (younger kids), he is probably not ready for a job, though he has applied for a few. He has no friends. We told one place that he would need to be kept away from younger children and they suddenly found their program to be full. This is all so discouraging. Frankly, I am sick of being with him all the time, because when he is not in school, we are with him ALL THE TIME. It's like house arrest for all of us. [/QUOTE]
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