Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Failure to Thrive
My son is bipolar is I have to decide if he should go to the state hospital.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 721598" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is brutal. We adopted a kid who had it and he molested our young kids (and got away with it because the kids were too scared of him to tell), killed two dogs (this finally outted him), and started little fires,,,we had no clue. He knew how to charm adults and terrify vulnerable children. I hope you have no younger kids or pets...Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids are great actors and may hug that dog all day or fuss over little kids in front of adults, then destroy them when you arent looking.</p><p></p><p>Our family survived, but the boy had to leave. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is serious enough that I would say that long term residential may be the only thing that can save him...and there are no guarantees. He may not be safe to you and hub. He could harm you. It could come out of nowhere. They have such rage.</p><p></p><p>If you send him away he may feel bad. If you dont, how will he ever have a chance to heal? He is aging out...you will hae no chance once he is eighteen.</p><p></p><p>I dont know if the boy we had is any better. Our young kids were terrified of him and he never came back. After the molestations for three years and the pet killings, we honestly did not want to see him again...we had loved him and it hadnt worked. At all. We needed to pick up the pieces and help the vitims. Thankfully, they are adults now, doing well.</p><p></p><p>I dont know what to say other than to do what you feel is best for him and yourselves. Dont allow the problems that he has, that happened before he met you, destroy you. Dont pretend things arent so bad if they ARE so bad. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, at worst, can not bond to us. They have little remorse. They are often only nice to us to get things.</p><p></p><p>When asked in his residential treatment center if he missed us, the boy we'd had said,"I miss all the stuff they would buy me."</p><p></p><p>You will not find the right words. You can only do the right thing for all of you. Often kids from foster care are already damaged so badly that by the time we get them, there is nothing we can do. Love doesnt cure them. In fact, having been rejected early on from those who are supposed to love them, love often scares Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids.</p><p>I am guessing most of your sons behavior is due to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It is not his fault, but its not your fault either.</p><p>Social services tends not to know or to disclose what they should.</p><p>I did adopt three other kids, but as babies. They are doing great. Older adoptees are different...been through too much. The substance abuse in utero could have caused fetal alcohol spectrum too, something incurable...it is brain damage.</p><p>I am so so so sorry. I hope you can come up with something you can live with as we had to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 721598, member: 1550"] Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is brutal. We adopted a kid who had it and he molested our young kids (and got away with it because the kids were too scared of him to tell), killed two dogs (this finally outted him), and started little fires,,,we had no clue. He knew how to charm adults and terrify vulnerable children. I hope you have no younger kids or pets...Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids are great actors and may hug that dog all day or fuss over little kids in front of adults, then destroy them when you arent looking. Our family survived, but the boy had to leave. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is serious enough that I would say that long term residential may be the only thing that can save him...and there are no guarantees. He may not be safe to you and hub. He could harm you. It could come out of nowhere. They have such rage. If you send him away he may feel bad. If you dont, how will he ever have a chance to heal? He is aging out...you will hae no chance once he is eighteen. I dont know if the boy we had is any better. Our young kids were terrified of him and he never came back. After the molestations for three years and the pet killings, we honestly did not want to see him again...we had loved him and it hadnt worked. At all. We needed to pick up the pieces and help the vitims. Thankfully, they are adults now, doing well. I dont know what to say other than to do what you feel is best for him and yourselves. Dont allow the problems that he has, that happened before he met you, destroy you. Dont pretend things arent so bad if they ARE so bad. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids, at worst, can not bond to us. They have little remorse. They are often only nice to us to get things. When asked in his residential treatment center if he missed us, the boy we'd had said,"I miss all the stuff they would buy me." You will not find the right words. You can only do the right thing for all of you. Often kids from foster care are already damaged so badly that by the time we get them, there is nothing we can do. Love doesnt cure them. In fact, having been rejected early on from those who are supposed to love them, love often scares Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids. I am guessing most of your sons behavior is due to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It is not his fault, but its not your fault either. Social services tends not to know or to disclose what they should. I did adopt three other kids, but as babies. They are doing great. Older adoptees are different...been through too much. The substance abuse in utero could have caused fetal alcohol spectrum too, something incurable...it is brain damage. I am so so so sorry. I hope you can come up with something you can live with as we had to do. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Failure to Thrive
My son is bipolar is I have to decide if he should go to the state hospital.
Top