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My son is choosing homelessness
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 625871" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>That is the crux of all of it and your truth and the path you've chosen to walk. Welcome. Many of us have made the same choice. And, it still feels bad to make it, but, <u>you</u> know you have to. You've already made it, we can provide support to hold on to your guns.</p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here.</p><p></p><p>You may want to get in touch with NAMI the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They can be accessed online, they have chapters everywhere and they offer excellent course for parents dealing with difficult children who have these kinds of disorders. </p><p></p><p>You may also want to look up Anti Social Disorder and the symptoms. That profile covers sociopath.</p><p></p><p>I just read a pretty good book called When your adult children break your heart. It's helpful.</p><p></p><p>The process of detachment from our adult children is filled with pot holes. Most of us walk in to most if not all of them. They are guilt, control, resentment, anger, rage, self doubt, fear, sorrow, what ifs, shoulds and probably more I can't think of now. This process is also very much like the stages of grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not necessarily in that order. We go up and down and sideways, this is not easy. You'll need as much support as you can muster, from all the sources you can think of. This goes against everything we believe love and parenting to be. You will need to learn a lot about what the serenity prayer teaches........... how to accept what you can't change............how to have the courage to change what you can and the wisdom to know the difference. A tall order. That's where the support comes in. </p><p></p><p>Keep positing it helps. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You're right, he won't need to do anything for himself if you continue. And, he is <u>choosing </u>to live on the streets. A number of our kids make that same choice, it is easier then living within a structured environment where they have to abide by rules. </p><p></p><p>Don't suffer over his choices. Start to put the focus you've had on him, onto YOU. What is it you want? What are you willing to do? What are you not willing to do? Be clear about that and continue with your commitment to yourself. You're doing a good job. Stay the course. I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 625871, member: 13542"] That is the crux of all of it and your truth and the path you've chosen to walk. Welcome. Many of us have made the same choice. And, it still feels bad to make it, but, [U]you[/U] know you have to. You've already made it, we can provide support to hold on to your guns. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may want to get in touch with NAMI the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They can be accessed online, they have chapters everywhere and they offer excellent course for parents dealing with difficult children who have these kinds of disorders. You may also want to look up Anti Social Disorder and the symptoms. That profile covers sociopath. I just read a pretty good book called When your adult children break your heart. It's helpful. The process of detachment from our adult children is filled with pot holes. Most of us walk in to most if not all of them. They are guilt, control, resentment, anger, rage, self doubt, fear, sorrow, what ifs, shoulds and probably more I can't think of now. This process is also very much like the stages of grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not necessarily in that order. We go up and down and sideways, this is not easy. You'll need as much support as you can muster, from all the sources you can think of. This goes against everything we believe love and parenting to be. You will need to learn a lot about what the serenity prayer teaches........... how to accept what you can't change............how to have the courage to change what you can and the wisdom to know the difference. A tall order. That's where the support comes in. Keep positing it helps. You're right, he won't need to do anything for himself if you continue. And, he is [U]choosing [/U]to live on the streets. A number of our kids make that same choice, it is easier then living within a structured environment where they have to abide by rules. Don't suffer over his choices. Start to put the focus you've had on him, onto YOU. What is it you want? What are you willing to do? What are you not willing to do? Be clear about that and continue with your commitment to yourself. You're doing a good job. Stay the course. I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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