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My son is choosing homelessness
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 625884" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Kris, my son is a lot like your son in that he has tossed away all the efforts we made at helping him, including ones I would have thought he would like like getting him lined up for foodstamps and social security. ONe important difference...my son is very gentle, very kind, demands nothing and asks for little.</p><p>Still...he ends up in jail. He steals, from us and from others. He is 20, and has been living on the street for 2 years. Right now he lives under a bridge about 1/2 mile from where I live. He doesn't want to live with me...he likes the feeling of risk, of getting away with something, of being a rebel. He lost his SS and foodstamps by just...not showing up. He gets jobs for a few weeks and loses them. When he is sad or lonely he goes to emergency rooms with some exaggerated complaint. Sometimes he gets admitted to psychiatric hosptiatls. Sometimes he flames out and becomes roarlingly manic (he won't take his medications, although he smilingly tells me that he is going to start...sooon). </p><p>That is my baby. My oldest son. I can't control him. I can't make him get a home, get a doctor, get a job. You can't either.</p><p>I can tell you that when I stopped trying to get him to do those things it got better for me, much better, and guess what...it didn't get worse for him! He just continues doing what he is doing.</p><p>Others here have passed through a phase of letting go where their kids amped up the anger and the demands. Mine never did/ Sounds like yours will.</p><p>I'm telling you this story just so you know that yes, others have been there. All you can do is let go with love. There is NOTHING you can do to make him do the things you think he should, or wish he would. Work on that part of you. Keep posting. We are all here for you, to think things through with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 625884, member: 17269"] Kris, my son is a lot like your son in that he has tossed away all the efforts we made at helping him, including ones I would have thought he would like like getting him lined up for foodstamps and social security. ONe important difference...my son is very gentle, very kind, demands nothing and asks for little. Still...he ends up in jail. He steals, from us and from others. He is 20, and has been living on the street for 2 years. Right now he lives under a bridge about 1/2 mile from where I live. He doesn't want to live with me...he likes the feeling of risk, of getting away with something, of being a rebel. He lost his SS and foodstamps by just...not showing up. He gets jobs for a few weeks and loses them. When he is sad or lonely he goes to emergency rooms with some exaggerated complaint. Sometimes he gets admitted to psychiatric hosptiatls. Sometimes he flames out and becomes roarlingly manic (he won't take his medications, although he smilingly tells me that he is going to start...sooon). That is my baby. My oldest son. I can't control him. I can't make him get a home, get a doctor, get a job. You can't either. I can tell you that when I stopped trying to get him to do those things it got better for me, much better, and guess what...it didn't get worse for him! He just continues doing what he is doing. Others here have passed through a phase of letting go where their kids amped up the anger and the demands. Mine never did/ Sounds like yours will. I'm telling you this story just so you know that yes, others have been there. All you can do is let go with love. There is NOTHING you can do to make him do the things you think he should, or wish he would. Work on that part of you. Keep posting. We are all here for you, to think things through with you. [/QUOTE]
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My son is choosing homelessness
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