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Substance Abuse
My son is homeless and on heroin
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 651924" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Hi Kim! I'm so sorry for your troubles, and want to lend you some support since my story is similar to yours. My son is 28 and a heroin addict. He has been living with us for about 1 1/2 years now since his wife kicked him out of the house. He got fired from his job and was arrested after that, and was on house arrest for 6 months. His case has since been settled and he's been working at a new job for about 4 months. His wife and two small children now live with us also, but everyone is moving out at the end of April.</p><p></p><p>We had kicked him out of our house around the end of January when his wife discovered that he had been using heroin in our home. Before that (supposedly), he would only use it at work or other places. He has also overdosed once in our home. When we asked him to leave, he continued to work but "rode the rails" at night. He would come over every night to put his kids to bed. When we were in the midst of a terrible blizzard and a long string of subzero days, he asked to come back and we let him. </p><p></p><p>He's had some relapses, but has been attending court-ordered substance abuse counseling of various kinds as well as meetings with his parole officer. The officer told him that one slip-up (missed meetings, failed drug test) means he'll go to jail, so I think he's motivated in that respect. As I mentioned, he and the family are leaving at the end of the month, so I don't see a need at present to make him leave sooner than that. Of course, I will do so if anything escalates. </p><p></p><p>You can probably tell, I'm not as far along in "detachment" as some members of the forum are, but I'm learning a lot here and feel more able to see that he's the one who got himself into this situation, not me, not his wife, not his mean fourth-grade teacher, etc. For the longest time, I tried to make sense of it, and have finally realized that it just doesn't make sense. My son has a high IQ and is quite brilliant in some areas (mainly science). He's a joy to be around when he's not high. On his best days, he's helpful, kind, and funny. That's why it doesn't make sense that he's been fired from at least six good jobs (including the military), been in jail three times, and continues to live this up-and-down existence. </p><p></p><p>I personally wouldn't feel comfortable cutting off the cell phone, but it's your decision of what makes sense to you. </p><p></p><p>You'll gain a lot of strength and knowledge from the insight of other posters here, as so many of us have struggled to balance our love of our children with what's best for them and ourselves. I'm learning, as you will, that we have to let go to find any kind of peace. You're important too, and you owe it to yourself and your other loved ones to try to find that peace while still loving your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 651924, member: 18099"] Hi Kim! I'm so sorry for your troubles, and want to lend you some support since my story is similar to yours. My son is 28 and a heroin addict. He has been living with us for about 1 1/2 years now since his wife kicked him out of the house. He got fired from his job and was arrested after that, and was on house arrest for 6 months. His case has since been settled and he's been working at a new job for about 4 months. His wife and two small children now live with us also, but everyone is moving out at the end of April. We had kicked him out of our house around the end of January when his wife discovered that he had been using heroin in our home. Before that (supposedly), he would only use it at work or other places. He has also overdosed once in our home. When we asked him to leave, he continued to work but "rode the rails" at night. He would come over every night to put his kids to bed. When we were in the midst of a terrible blizzard and a long string of subzero days, he asked to come back and we let him. He's had some relapses, but has been attending court-ordered substance abuse counseling of various kinds as well as meetings with his parole officer. The officer told him that one slip-up (missed meetings, failed drug test) means he'll go to jail, so I think he's motivated in that respect. As I mentioned, he and the family are leaving at the end of the month, so I don't see a need at present to make him leave sooner than that. Of course, I will do so if anything escalates. You can probably tell, I'm not as far along in "detachment" as some members of the forum are, but I'm learning a lot here and feel more able to see that he's the one who got himself into this situation, not me, not his wife, not his mean fourth-grade teacher, etc. For the longest time, I tried to make sense of it, and have finally realized that it just doesn't make sense. My son has a high IQ and is quite brilliant in some areas (mainly science). He's a joy to be around when he's not high. On his best days, he's helpful, kind, and funny. That's why it doesn't make sense that he's been fired from at least six good jobs (including the military), been in jail three times, and continues to live this up-and-down existence. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable cutting off the cell phone, but it's your decision of what makes sense to you. You'll gain a lot of strength and knowledge from the insight of other posters here, as so many of us have struggled to balance our love of our children with what's best for them and ourselves. I'm learning, as you will, that we have to let go to find any kind of peace. You're important too, and you owe it to yourself and your other loved ones to try to find that peace while still loving your son. [/QUOTE]
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My son is homeless and on heroin
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