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My son is in a crisis unit. Voluntarily, I think.
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 694746" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Copa, I am sorry all of this came up, and came up so suddenly. But I guess it has been building for awhile. I agree with the others, perhaps it is best for your son to find other living arrangements...BUT...that is NOT to take away from what has come to pass as a result of him living with you these months. He has come SUCH a long, long way, Copa! Perhaps now, in large part because of the support he has gotten from you and M, he is READY to move to something with more independence. I think your son has a good heart. Not all of our difficult children do. I believe that in his heart he wants what is best for you as well. That is such a good place to start from.</p><p></p><p>I think I have told you before that I don't think you give yourself enough credit, not by a long shot. These labels, like "bad mother," "quitter," "failure,"...Copa, these do not apply to you. I think it is much too harsh of you to berate yourself for spending money around the time of your mother's illness. I think there is no reason for you to feel the need to basically pay penance for doing so. It is ok for you to have done that, Copa. Earning that money back is a target you have placed on your own back. You can take it off again. There is no pressure other than what you impose.</p><p></p><p>If you want to quit the job because of your son, I think that is a bad idea. No one other than yourself should hold that kind of influence. If you want to quit because it does not suit you, or it was not what was promised, or it is taking too big a toll on YOUR life, or you have a better alternative, then that is a rational choice. It certainly doesn't make you a quitter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 694746, member: 17720"] Copa, I am sorry all of this came up, and came up so suddenly. But I guess it has been building for awhile. I agree with the others, perhaps it is best for your son to find other living arrangements...BUT...that is NOT to take away from what has come to pass as a result of him living with you these months. He has come SUCH a long, long way, Copa! Perhaps now, in large part because of the support he has gotten from you and M, he is READY to move to something with more independence. I think your son has a good heart. Not all of our difficult children do. I believe that in his heart he wants what is best for you as well. That is such a good place to start from. I think I have told you before that I don't think you give yourself enough credit, not by a long shot. These labels, like "bad mother," "quitter," "failure,"...Copa, these do not apply to you. I think it is much too harsh of you to berate yourself for spending money around the time of your mother's illness. I think there is no reason for you to feel the need to basically pay penance for doing so. It is ok for you to have done that, Copa. Earning that money back is a target you have placed on your own back. You can take it off again. There is no pressure other than what you impose. If you want to quit the job because of your son, I think that is a bad idea. No one other than yourself should hold that kind of influence. If you want to quit because it does not suit you, or it was not what was promised, or it is taking too big a toll on YOUR life, or you have a better alternative, then that is a rational choice. It certainly doesn't make you a quitter. [/QUOTE]
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My son is in a crisis unit. Voluntarily, I think.
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