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My son is in a crisis unit. Voluntarily, I think.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694888" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you Hopeful.</p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>He is home. He says he is intending to go back to the luxe place and enter residential treatment but needs first to transfer his medical coverage to that county (which is different.) I did tell him this, too:<em> When you do not take care of your health I feel helpless and afraid, afraid of the future for myself--because I love you so much--would you consider please going to your Hepatologist and resuming the antivirals? I know you and and your doctor decide these matters. But I am your mother and I need you to be healthy and OK. For you and for me.</em> (He was on the anti-virals that completely eliminated signs of the virus. And he stopped 5 years ago, without telling the doctor.)</p><p></p><p>He said he would.<em> Can you call now to make an appointment? Mom. It's 6pm. They are not there. </em>(I phrased it that way because I have been reading about non-violent communication (nvc.) </p><p></p><p>Now I am learning that when my son left the crisis place in the luxe county he did not report to the crisis place in the other county as he agreed and as had been arranged. I do not know how that might affect the first county's predisposition to have him back, or if they even know about it.</p><p></p><p>This is the kind of circumstance in which I typically over-react because it indicates poor judgment and it closes off potential resources and sources of support. When this happens and he forecloses options particularly those that limit his access to treatment--I kind of go slightly bonkers.</p><p></p><p>If I think in terms of nvc they would say effective responding is a question of the language I choose. That I could say, when I fear you are closing off options for your treatment, I feel helpless and afraid. What I would want is that you have all available options open to you. </p><p></p><p>When I use language such as this I am supposed to feel better and empowered and closer to my feelings and his. Let me tell you I just feel frustrated and upset, if that indeed is what he did. And it looks like he did not go to a treatment program that had been arranged for him, with some effort, contrary to plan and his agreement.</p><p></p><p>He has got the phone that has the mobile hotspot too far so I cannot post this yet until he ends his conversation with the psychiatrist. Honest to G-d, I feel like kicking him out again. Imagine having 2 weeks of residential treatment arranged with a likely entry into longer term residential treatment and walking the other way when you told people to their face that you are going go go. </p><p></p><p>You see, this is where I go wrong. I feel it to be a personal betrayal. Him? He thinks it has nothing to do with me. But as long as it is a condition of staying with me that he obtain treatment--it is a betrayal--to me it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694888, member: 18958"] Thank you Hopeful. Yes. He is home. He says he is intending to go back to the luxe place and enter residential treatment but needs first to transfer his medical coverage to that county (which is different.) I did tell him this, too:[I] When you do not take care of your health I feel helpless and afraid, afraid of the future for myself--because I love you so much--would you consider please going to your Hepatologist and resuming the antivirals? I know you and and your doctor decide these matters. But I am your mother and I need you to be healthy and OK. For you and for me.[/I] (He was on the anti-virals that completely eliminated signs of the virus. And he stopped 5 years ago, without telling the doctor.) He said he would.[I] Can you call now to make an appointment? Mom. It's 6pm. They are not there. [/I](I phrased it that way because I have been reading about non-violent communication (nvc.) Now I am learning that when my son left the crisis place in the luxe county he did not report to the crisis place in the other county as he agreed and as had been arranged. I do not know how that might affect the first county's predisposition to have him back, or if they even know about it. This is the kind of circumstance in which I typically over-react because it indicates poor judgment and it closes off potential resources and sources of support. When this happens and he forecloses options particularly those that limit his access to treatment--I kind of go slightly bonkers. If I think in terms of nvc they would say effective responding is a question of the language I choose. That I could say, when I fear you are closing off options for your treatment, I feel helpless and afraid. What I would want is that you have all available options open to you. When I use language such as this I am supposed to feel better and empowered and closer to my feelings and his. Let me tell you I just feel frustrated and upset, if that indeed is what he did. And it looks like he did not go to a treatment program that had been arranged for him, with some effort, contrary to plan and his agreement. He has got the phone that has the mobile hotspot too far so I cannot post this yet until he ends his conversation with the psychiatrist. Honest to G-d, I feel like kicking him out again. Imagine having 2 weeks of residential treatment arranged with a likely entry into longer term residential treatment and walking the other way when you told people to their face that you are going go go. You see, this is where I go wrong. I feel it to be a personal betrayal. Him? He thinks it has nothing to do with me. But as long as it is a condition of staying with me that he obtain treatment--it is a betrayal--to me it is. [/QUOTE]
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My son is in a crisis unit. Voluntarily, I think.
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