my son is in icu

[Copabanana]

how does son feel about his dad? do you think he feels safe with him?

are you able to trust his dad now? i mean like more than 80 percent? do you think he gets it? dad sounds scared.

will son be drug tested regularly? i assume so.

i am forgetting. is there any chance of residential treatment?

i would be hesitant to bring son home if your daughter has been traumatized in the past and feels afraid. you would be worried all the time. daughter needs protection too. that's how i feel.

if son is monitored all the time by the op tx won't it kind of be as if his dad is monitored too?

if son loves his dad and dad loves son, and dad is "scared straight" maybe this is the best you can do right now. real life is well: real.

it sounds like you and son have excellent communication. what a gift.

i do not think it is too soon to tell him you have full confidence in him. and show it by trusting that he and dad will step up. (if you feel in the main that dad will.)

and it is not too soon to think of what is next.

i cannot say enough good things about job corps. they take youth with diagnoses, disabilities and drug problems. once son is thru treatment. and vocational rehab provides support, counseling and pays for training and education. (at least they do in my state.)

i feel every confidence son will be okay. he has major strengths in my book.

 

[Littleboylost]

Thank you!! Question - he has not had any weed since Tuesday night, when he was admitted to ER. (He stayed a few days, then went to a post acute place) He is not hearing any voices - the hospital put him on Zoloft and Risperdal, but the post acute place changed his medications to Haldol and Benztropine. But he is still convinced there is a chip in his brain, and many people are able to read his thoughts on a computer screen. Can weed psychosis last this long? His kidneys still have too much creatinine, but not too bad. The doctor said kidneys should recover in a few weeks, otherwise he is fine.

It can. 3 - 6 months for recovery THC is absorbed into fat. It is one of the drugs that clears the slowest out of the system. It is a drug that is underestimated in its deleterious effect. It does not have the risk of overdose like opioids but it is a long haul to detox from and recover from

 

[Littleboylost]

when i googled "chip in head" unfortunately i learned too much. facebook and elon musk are apparently developing this for real so that our brains communicate directly with our phones....jeez.

Oh my goodness I just finished watching this renter disturbing documentary. No chip for me thanks.

 

[PiscesMom]

He wanted to go back to his dad's. His dad and I had an ugly divorce, and hadn't been speaking, but I went in the house to check in anyway and give him my son's medications. He wasn't intimidating anymore, he seemed grateful for any help, concerned for our son.
My son said he could get weed anytime - he has a friend that can drive. But he will participate in the outpatient thing - its for transitional youth with major psychiatric problems, limited income. They seem to help in a lot of areas of life. Plus he will get a caseworker. I will look into job corps, and everything else I can.
But...I wonder if at the end of the day - I can't control his use, and I can't watch him 24 hours a day. I think I repaired things a bit with his dad, so we can work together somewhat.

 

[Copabanana]

we cannot control what they do.i am struggling with that too. because son can get mj any time does not mean he will. he got scared too. and HE called 911.

piscesmom. it sounds good.

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry you have had to deal with all of this. I hope he doesn't choose to continue to use. Being able to work better with his dad is a very good thing for your son. I hope that continues.

(((((hugs))))) I am sorry I have been offline a bit during this.

 

[pigless in VA]

I've been away, too. I'm so glad that at least you and his father could talk about this.

PM, for what it's worth, my husband became totally batpoop crazy on weed. I had never seen anything like it. I was around many pot smokers in my youth, and they always seemed preferable to the alcoholics to me. I think that some people simply react very badly to marijuana.

Maybe your son will understand that and stop. I hope so.

 

[PiscesMom]

My son was recommended into this outpatient program for the mentally ill, covers housing, medications, employment, therapy, a caseworker. I am beyond grateful.
We did the intake, and he did great. Later we talked, and it was so wonderful. He was so insightful. I have missed you so much, I said. Everything felt better - everything was going to be ok. My mom said make him good food, I will pay. What has his dad been feeding him? Junk food? He says he doesn't want my food, he is not so stupid he needs me to make him food. He is adamant.
The next day, he called me and went on and on how he hated his dad, wants to kill him, wants to kill himself. What can he do to stop himself from killing his dad. Shouldn't his dad be dead? He is so stupid, etc etc. Late at night, he called his sister - more of the same, she said. Today he wanted to talk and it was more of the same. Violent, disgusting, creepy talk about his dad. Anger with no insight. I am afraid. I called the caseworker - she recommended 911 and the CAT team if dad felt threatened. I am afraid for my ex and I told him so.
She asked about conservatorship, which will come up if he is hospitalized while being in their program.
I think this is more than having too much marijuana.
I asked him if he is hearing voices and he said No, but I don't know if I trust.
I just drank a glass of wine. It is only 4:00.

This has been going on since he was 13.5 and now he is a month away from 19.

 

[HMBgal]

Oh man. That sounds rough. And lots of work sure needs to be done around his feelings for his father. Blaming him for his pain? I don't know. But the facility sounds wonderful and I hope he does well there. Hugs.

 

[Copabanana]

i do not think this is about dad feeling threatened

i think this is about son's well-being and the safety of both son and dad.

Your son may need to be evaluated for danger to self/danger to others. asap i would call the mental health crisis team to evaluate him for possible re-hospitalization.

i am sorry.

 

[Littleboylost]

Pisces
My heart goes out to you. I do hope things settle in for your son with the new found assistance and housing. This is not easy stuff.

A big hug to you!

 

[PiscesMom]

He is in ER, about to be moved to a residential for a few weeks. They are thinking schizophrenia. I told them he can't come home to either of us. He called me later from ER and thanked me for bringing him, and we had a nice discussion. He is still in there - I mean the real him is underneath.
I am so relieved that he is safe, his father is safe, he is getting good care, it looks like.

 

[Copabanana]

pisces mom. while scary and concerning this is good news in that there is a cause that has been propelling this. really. there are tremendous new medications and the disease remits.

i read that mj triggers latent schizophrenia all too frequently.

your son is remarkable. he has remarkable strengths. your relationship sounds strong and beautiful.

he will be okay. i am so glad you let us know. i think your response is perfect.

 

[PiscesMom]

Thank you Copa. I hope he can have a good life. I hope, I hope. I am doing nothing today. Just sitting here numb.

 

[Copabanana]

pisces mom.

your son has remakable insight, intelligence, self-awareness and trust.

usually these are not qualities that go with schizophrenia, i would think.

he really really wants to help himself but he was trying to get relief, it seems.

meanwhile the doctors will refine their diagnosis by seeing what medications he responds to.

take care.

 

[PiscesMom]

Interesting. I guess deep down, I kind of wasn't sure of this new diagnosis. Do you have any ideas? No label really seems to fit him.
I remember when he was 3, we went to Disneyworld and he needed a new shirt, and all there was was his sister's lettuce edge T. Once he noticed that, he just had to have that shirt off. He wouldn't stop trying to tear it off him. There was just no way he could be forced to wear it. It was oppositional, but not to be oppositional in itself. Generally, he was a nice, sensitive, compliant, reasonable child. He was always very introverted, but had friends. He worked hard at what he was interested in. He build a workbench at around 10 years of age - a huge cabinet, drawers, a pegboard in back to hold tools. It had a huge clamp that was fixed to the tabletop part of it. All I did was take him to Home Depot. He designed, then built a piece of furniture with hinges, drawer slides. I didn't find it too remarkable - I was used to him. I remember buying an IKEA piece and sternly telling him to wait until I was back from the grocery store to put it together, except of course he didn't. He was the Honored Camper at his Boy Scout Camp his first year, and as one of the youngest campers. I am sure he enjoyed it and was the hardest working, best helper ever.
Once he made pumpkin pie using actual cooked pumpkin for filling. I could go on and on.
He has uneven cognitive abilities. I can't remember offhand, but I know he pretty slow processing feed, and maybe some time of language based processing disorder or something as well. He was in Special Education since first grade for learning disability.
He had always hung out with older kids. He started smoking marijuana at 12 (I didn't know) and he got extremely fixated on it. (Now he seems to know everything marijuana - the history, the varieties, the laws, all the different growing techniques.) After his head injury at 13, his behaviors began. He was very verbally abusive to me and my younger daughter, but always respectful of his older sister) The psychosis started last August - he was 18 and a half, and then the suicide attempt, and now the death threats against dad, and telling the therapist he wants to die, that he can't because "the system" won't let him. He says his dad caused his mental illness and his dad took away his "greatness." He says he doesn't want to live because his parents are stupid. He is socially awkward now. He has a flat affect. But even in childhood he had a flat voice. I was just used to it. He seemed so deep and thoughtful.
He always has done wonderfully in treatment centers, I imagine because they help him regulate his emotions, and there is good structure.
After the accident, he became completely out of control. He threatened violence, lit controlled fires, regularly threatened me with homemade weapons, made punches at me that ended an inch from my face, punched holes in the walls, had molotov cocktails in the basement. I finally had him arrested. It was very scary. I had to make sure my younger daughter was never alone with him; once he had gone into her room, grabbed her arm and twisted it, she said. She is still terrified of him.
I read letters he wrote to his dad from his first treatment center - they were so angry, so full of hate and blame, horrible insults, also graphic descriptions of how he wanted to harm his case manger there, along with detailed instructions on how to care for his plants.
He really hasn't been violent since the arrest at my house. And he certainly was never violent towards anyone outside the house. He is shy.
I almost wish there was an easy diagnosis so I could understand what is going on.
I didn't mean to write so much. :/

 

[PiscesMom]

i wish i could delete this rant now. maybe all this will sort itself out now, with all the care, supervision, and therapy he will get. i get stuck on trying to figure him out.

 

[Littleboylost]

i wish i could delete this rant now. maybe all this will sort itself out now, with all the care, supervision, and therapy he will get. i get stuck on trying to figure him out.

You can ask an admin to delete your post if you wish. But I can tell you I felt a lot of me in that rant. Where your sons outburst are more aggressive than my sons the rest of the story minus the head injury is very similar. My sons psychotic episodes reduce greatly when he is not using multiple substances. His pot smoking has him at a rio roaring 37% second attempt at finishing high school. Where your sons instability wound up with him in the need of MH support my sons disrespectful drugging and theiving has him arrested 4 times and he still is heel dragging on his need for a long term rehab program. I am just back from the most amazing vacation and I am laying here furious at myself for getting so stressed about his predicament. Ugh!
You are not alone.

 

[Copabanana]

pisces mom! stop. it. be kind to yourself. please. i am so glad you wrote the history.

my son had a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) too. but when he was older. like 22. he also had adhd. and a history of Special Education. for adhd. but not the violence or fantasies that i am aware of. but conspiracy theories--yes. to the point i feared he might be delusional.

he is much better. i no longer have those fears. he was always certain he was just "deeply neurotic" as he called it. now he looks back and calls himself extremely immature.

he has way more self control now. moodswings are largely gone. depression much much improved. self esteem way higher. hopefulness hugely increased. he is now 29.

over an 8 year period he punched holes in walls, doors.

and the marijuana. a love story. but he is now a month clean.

my son also deeply researches things. as a small child he would affix his attention to something like a magnet.

a diagnosis for your son? i will look at the dsm which you can probably find online.

for my own son. i do not know. he has called himself bipolar and convinced others. i do not think so.

with your son...does this behavior wax and wane? does he seem to cycle?

i think these things are extremely important, in addition to the strengths i noted above:

while it is never good to target your family or anybody, family pulls for strong emotions.

he shows deep remorse and responsibility at least sometimes.

largely he seems tetheted to reality.

at least as i discern from what you write.

this is what i know about experts in the mental health field. the only time they agree about a diagnosis is when:

they copy.

after a certain medication works.

if a patient self reports and it fits

over a long period of time and consensus.

that somebody came up with schizophrenia means not much. it is a rule out. a hypothesis.

i wonder if he meets the criteria which requires i think 6 months of psychosis.

but the doctors will figure it out.

rest. you have been through so much.

ps my son says he still has moodswings but says he has coping mechanisms. moodswings i do not think moderate to that extent in 6 months. but experience and learning combined with brain maturation could do the trick.

i have a lot of hope for our boys!

pss don't you think the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) might be a big factor? let's look up mj and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). there are fantastic rehabilitation programs for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). because this happened before 18 he might qualify for regional center they would coirdinate tx access and pay if need be. (in usa). except probably not. i think it has to be developmental. i am confusing us.

 

[Copabanana]

i googled: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and marijuana use.

the very first journal article: psychosis. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and mj.

tommorow why not do some research. if you believe this might be it, i would strongly advocate to his psychiatrist and request second and third opinions, if need be. particularly important re medications. which can have powerful side effects.

to me it makes sense to at first consider the obvious. the brain injury. the marijuana. and the documented connection, hopefully, to the triggering of psychosis. only after this is ruled out would i want to go to schizophrenia. they may have to. but as a last resort. let's see what he looks like sober , while treating the psychosis, safe, contained, with support.

that he has responded so beautifully to structure and support in the past is so hopeful.

you can look at wikipedia for schizophrenia to see yourself if he meets diagnostic criteria. this is not rocket science.