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Parent Emeritus
My son is in jail. Again. To visit or not to visit, that is the question...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 646802" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Oh Carri. I see the growth, wisdom, weariness, letting go, sadness and acceptance in your post. This is where we get to, if the insanity continues and we work on ourselves. </p><p></p><p>We get to the place where we can let go. </p><p></p><p>I truly believe that for many of us---like me, an especially slow learner---it takes time and again and again and again and again of doing the same thing and getting the same results. We have to be shown the hard way, the very slow way. </p><p></p><p>Like they do.</p><p></p><p>In time, I came to see that my struggle/journey and his struggle/journey was very, very similar.</p><p></p><p>We were walking separate paths, bridged by our love for each other, and they were both lonely, cruel, very difficult paths. </p><p></p><p>I have finally found peace and contentment and serenity on my journey, Carri. It has taken so much hard work. And strangely, he appears to now be making some progress on his journey.</p><p></p><p>I will mess up. He will mess up. That is inevitable. The question is: what will I do when it happens? When I mess up and when he messes up? Will I react to myself and to him? I am also learning that accepting my own mistakes is yet another step forward. I give myself a figurative hug and say, well, do better next time.</p><p></p><p>Yes, their mistakes seem to be more catastrophic, like homelessness and jail and injury and even death. But Carri, you know this already: we can't control another person. We can love them, and encourage them, and even at times, decide to help them for whatever reason, but we can't make it all better anymore.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you today. Please use the tools you read about on this board---so many tools---that work for you. Find them, use them daily as a practice in your life, and you will continue to grow in new and amazing ways. </p><p></p><p>I am praying for you and your son. I am praying that good things come to the both of you. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting here. There is so much acceptance, wisdom, patience, honesty and truth on this board, and it has been one of my best tools in my own journey. </p><p></p><p>You're not alone, Carri. We are here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 646802, member: 17542"] Oh Carri. I see the growth, wisdom, weariness, letting go, sadness and acceptance in your post. This is where we get to, if the insanity continues and we work on ourselves. We get to the place where we can let go. I truly believe that for many of us---like me, an especially slow learner---it takes time and again and again and again and again of doing the same thing and getting the same results. We have to be shown the hard way, the very slow way. Like they do. In time, I came to see that my struggle/journey and his struggle/journey was very, very similar. We were walking separate paths, bridged by our love for each other, and they were both lonely, cruel, very difficult paths. I have finally found peace and contentment and serenity on my journey, Carri. It has taken so much hard work. And strangely, he appears to now be making some progress on his journey. I will mess up. He will mess up. That is inevitable. The question is: what will I do when it happens? When I mess up and when he messes up? Will I react to myself and to him? I am also learning that accepting my own mistakes is yet another step forward. I give myself a figurative hug and say, well, do better next time. Yes, their mistakes seem to be more catastrophic, like homelessness and jail and injury and even death. But Carri, you know this already: we can't control another person. We can love them, and encourage them, and even at times, decide to help them for whatever reason, but we can't make it all better anymore. Warm hugs to you today. Please use the tools you read about on this board---so many tools---that work for you. Find them, use them daily as a practice in your life, and you will continue to grow in new and amazing ways. I am praying for you and your son. I am praying that good things come to the both of you. Keep posting here. There is so much acceptance, wisdom, patience, honesty and truth on this board, and it has been one of my best tools in my own journey. You're not alone, Carri. We are here. [/QUOTE]
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My son is in jail. Again. To visit or not to visit, that is the question...
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