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Substance Abuse
My son is now one of the homeless...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 650503" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>What a relief it is to be able to post again from my home computer...It helps that husband is a network engineer and he asked me to "reproduce the problem" so he could troubleshoot and fix it. </p><p></p><p>This got me to thinking about what donedad said...about justify what I did/didn't do while raising him. And...so wishing I could go back in time, "reproduce the problem" so as to fix it...sigh. </p><p></p><p>I wish I could go back to a time I remember laying on my son's bedroom floor, beneath their bunkbeds reading "Hank the Cow Dog", lol...to swimming birthday parties, skating rink parties, to the tire swing in the front yard...usually with sweet easy child on the swing while the boys were of course climbing to the heighest point on the tree...always risk-takers! It wasn't far from the whiskey barrel that spilled out beautiful pansies below an Oak. Those were such sweet and simple times. </p><p></p><p>It seems as though most of our Difficult Child lead charmed lives...parents who cared about their homework/good education, had them involved with sports activities, church, awesome trips, etc. These were well-loved children...well cared-for children. But addiction doesn't care!</p><p></p><p>I guess you could say I had a "moment of weakness" night before last. I texted son and asked him if he was okay? and he said, "Yes, I'm ok." He then called me yesterday morning and really only wanted to know why he couldn't get ahold of daughter in law...apparently she couldn't pay her bill til yesterday afternoon. It was alright that he "used me" in this way...because I also used him. See...I wanted reasurrance and I wanted to hear him tell me "I love you mom"...which he did. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Svengandhi for the validation of all we have been through for our son's. It's sad though...just last night tears began to roll from husband's eyes as I had gotten alittle chocked up when remembering son as a tiny boy. Sad...that husband is left feeling like somewhat of a failure when it comes to raising our son's. </p><p>For this reason, husband doesn't like to coach the boys team at the bowling alley...primarily focuses on the girls because he feels he has a problem "teaching" boys. And husband is not a man who knows failure very often!</p><p></p><p>For me...it was my life's ambition to be a mom. LOL my own mother has often said, "LMS. I don't understand how I, as a single mom who had to focus on her career, could have raised you to have such little ambition!" Her words sting...for that is exactly why! I wanted a family...I wanted us to belong to each other...I wanted the "picturesque" American dream...</p><p></p><p>I feel like I'm rambling I suppose...</p><p>The good news right now is that son is apparently still in this new Rehab program he described in his text to me. The bad news is that I don't know how long it will last...seems he doesn't get treatment that he needs for very long before he moves on to something else. I know he was still working as of yesterday...but I spoke with daughter in law last night and she had apparently talked to son. Son begged her to come visit him at the shelter/rehab program...but daughter in law told him she really wants a divorce. daughter in law said that son said he didn't know how long he could hold on to his current job as he was feeling "emotionally unstable". </p><p>So we wait. ...as do so many of us here on the board...waiting to see what direction son will go next. </p><p></p><p>I have reminded him several times over the past few yrs that he comes from " a long line of survivors"...and that he can do this...get out of this hole he has dug. I pray he will "stop digging"...and just embrace the help being offered, take the hand, and climb out. We shall see... </p><p></p><p>Thank you all again for your caring reply's. </p><p>Love,</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 650503, member: 3305"] What a relief it is to be able to post again from my home computer...It helps that husband is a network engineer and he asked me to "reproduce the problem" so he could troubleshoot and fix it. This got me to thinking about what donedad said...about justify what I did/didn't do while raising him. And...so wishing I could go back in time, "reproduce the problem" so as to fix it...sigh. I wish I could go back to a time I remember laying on my son's bedroom floor, beneath their bunkbeds reading "Hank the Cow Dog", lol...to swimming birthday parties, skating rink parties, to the tire swing in the front yard...usually with sweet easy child on the swing while the boys were of course climbing to the heighest point on the tree...always risk-takers! It wasn't far from the whiskey barrel that spilled out beautiful pansies below an Oak. Those were such sweet and simple times. It seems as though most of our Difficult Child lead charmed lives...parents who cared about their homework/good education, had them involved with sports activities, church, awesome trips, etc. These were well-loved children...well cared-for children. But addiction doesn't care! I guess you could say I had a "moment of weakness" night before last. I texted son and asked him if he was okay? and he said, "Yes, I'm ok." He then called me yesterday morning and really only wanted to know why he couldn't get ahold of daughter in law...apparently she couldn't pay her bill til yesterday afternoon. It was alright that he "used me" in this way...because I also used him. See...I wanted reasurrance and I wanted to hear him tell me "I love you mom"...which he did. Thank you Svengandhi for the validation of all we have been through for our son's. It's sad though...just last night tears began to roll from husband's eyes as I had gotten alittle chocked up when remembering son as a tiny boy. Sad...that husband is left feeling like somewhat of a failure when it comes to raising our son's. For this reason, husband doesn't like to coach the boys team at the bowling alley...primarily focuses on the girls because he feels he has a problem "teaching" boys. And husband is not a man who knows failure very often! For me...it was my life's ambition to be a mom. LOL my own mother has often said, "LMS. I don't understand how I, as a single mom who had to focus on her career, could have raised you to have such little ambition!" Her words sting...for that is exactly why! I wanted a family...I wanted us to belong to each other...I wanted the "picturesque" American dream... I feel like I'm rambling I suppose... The good news right now is that son is apparently still in this new Rehab program he described in his text to me. The bad news is that I don't know how long it will last...seems he doesn't get treatment that he needs for very long before he moves on to something else. I know he was still working as of yesterday...but I spoke with daughter in law last night and she had apparently talked to son. Son begged her to come visit him at the shelter/rehab program...but daughter in law told him she really wants a divorce. daughter in law said that son said he didn't know how long he could hold on to his current job as he was feeling "emotionally unstable". So we wait. ...as do so many of us here on the board...waiting to see what direction son will go next. I have reminded him several times over the past few yrs that he comes from " a long line of survivors"...and that he can do this...get out of this hole he has dug. I pray he will "stop digging"...and just embrace the help being offered, take the hand, and climb out. We shall see... Thank you all again for your caring reply's. Love, LMS [/QUOTE]
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