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My son is spiraling down
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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful97" data-source="post: 673594" data-attributes="member: 19678"><p>Hi Quicksand, These types of messages are very hard to deal with especially coming from your son. My Difficult Child has said similar things to me, my first reaction would be to devise a plan to help him. Most of the time he would just do what he wanted anyway, if he did take an idea from me, social worker, therapist psychiatrist he would never follow through. My son has a mental illness and I am sure self medicates. Our dcs choices are usually not good choices, they are the ones that have to learn to live with their choices. I am learning that giving my Difficult Child money was actually not helping anything just enabling my Difficult Child. I am learning to detach, there is a very good article on detachment on this forum at the top. I have not been on this site very long but it has been so helpful I cannot even put into words how helpful and I reread the article all the time it helps me stand strong. My Difficult Child knew what to say to get from me what he wanted. I would drop everything to respond to and help. Actually, it was him manipulating me and I was not helping I was enabling. It is hard but necessary to say no and stick to it. I have a very hard time accepting that my Difficult Child will not truly seek help and how he could not seek help and choose to live by couch hopping or sleeping on the street. I also recommend the book Codependent No More. When I first started reading about being a codependent I thought that is not me. But I kept on reading and posting on this site and am coming to grips with the fact that yes I think I am codependent. I hope this has helped in some way. Warm Hugs, Hopeful</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful97, post: 673594, member: 19678"] Hi Quicksand, These types of messages are very hard to deal with especially coming from your son. My Difficult Child has said similar things to me, my first reaction would be to devise a plan to help him. Most of the time he would just do what he wanted anyway, if he did take an idea from me, social worker, therapist psychiatrist he would never follow through. My son has a mental illness and I am sure self medicates. Our dcs choices are usually not good choices, they are the ones that have to learn to live with their choices. I am learning that giving my Difficult Child money was actually not helping anything just enabling my Difficult Child. I am learning to detach, there is a very good article on detachment on this forum at the top. I have not been on this site very long but it has been so helpful I cannot even put into words how helpful and I reread the article all the time it helps me stand strong. My Difficult Child knew what to say to get from me what he wanted. I would drop everything to respond to and help. Actually, it was him manipulating me and I was not helping I was enabling. It is hard but necessary to say no and stick to it. I have a very hard time accepting that my Difficult Child will not truly seek help and how he could not seek help and choose to live by couch hopping or sleeping on the street. I also recommend the book Codependent No More. When I first started reading about being a codependent I thought that is not me. But I kept on reading and posting on this site and am coming to grips with the fact that yes I think I am codependent. I hope this has helped in some way. Warm Hugs, Hopeful [/QUOTE]
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