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My son just can't get right - this is so long!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 72893" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, he's 28--you shouldn't be helping him at all. Big deal if you divorced his abusive dad at three and he didn't see his dad. If it bothers him to this day, then he needs to get into therapy. in my opinion he's acting like a child because you're pampering him and not forcing him to grow up. I wouldn't drive him to and from work just because he was irresponsible. I wouldn't blame his wife for him putting holes in the wall. I don't care how frustrated he gets--he's 28 and that's inappropriate. I would actually focus on the grandchild. Whether or not he gets attention it's alarming that he didn't speak until he was five years old. I'd be wondering if he had some sort of disorder, like autistic spectrum--not trying to scare you, but I'd be more concerned about the child than the adult who is acting like a child. Is your grandson delayed in any other ways? </p><p>I don't think you should feel guilty about anything. He is half your ex's child and perhaps he inherited some of his traits or, if he has any, mental illnesses. He sounds like he has a bad anger problem. Lots of kids go through divorce. My kids did and they were also adopted. That's no excuse for his anger and irresponsibility at his age. My advice: Let him go and focus on the grandchild, but don't miss work again or put your life on hold for a grown man, even your son. I expect my grown kids to be independent. You can't force him to be responsible, but you can give him some incentive by not being there to bail him out when he screws up. Teach him to figure out answers to his own problems. You won't be around forever. Then what? (((Hugs))) Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 72893, member: 1550"] Hon, he's 28--you shouldn't be helping him at all. Big deal if you divorced his abusive dad at three and he didn't see his dad. If it bothers him to this day, then he needs to get into therapy. in my opinion he's acting like a child because you're pampering him and not forcing him to grow up. I wouldn't drive him to and from work just because he was irresponsible. I wouldn't blame his wife for him putting holes in the wall. I don't care how frustrated he gets--he's 28 and that's inappropriate. I would actually focus on the grandchild. Whether or not he gets attention it's alarming that he didn't speak until he was five years old. I'd be wondering if he had some sort of disorder, like autistic spectrum--not trying to scare you, but I'd be more concerned about the child than the adult who is acting like a child. Is your grandson delayed in any other ways? I don't think you should feel guilty about anything. He is half your ex's child and perhaps he inherited some of his traits or, if he has any, mental illnesses. He sounds like he has a bad anger problem. Lots of kids go through divorce. My kids did and they were also adopted. That's no excuse for his anger and irresponsibility at his age. My advice: Let him go and focus on the grandchild, but don't miss work again or put your life on hold for a grown man, even your son. I expect my grown kids to be independent. You can't force him to be responsible, but you can give him some incentive by not being there to bail him out when he screws up. Teach him to figure out answers to his own problems. You won't be around forever. Then what? (((Hugs))) Take care. [/QUOTE]
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My son just can't get right - this is so long!
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