Right now I have no desire to see him. Isn't that terrible? I'm just worn out after almost six years of this. Sometimes I wish he would just go away. When I see pictures of him when he was little (just did some cleaning) I really feel like that person doesn't exist. I have mourned so much that maybe that is what happens.
This brought me to tears... I almost feel like his childhood was another persons life. I feel I have been mourning that sweet boy, who brought me so much joy. I sometimes have to remind myself we were once a happy family, and not always so upset and angry and depressed.
Does this ever not feel so painful? If my son never comes back to me sober and clean do we hurt forever?