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Substance Abuse
My son relapsed
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 762556" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Im so sorry. What a shocking and sorrowful turn of events. And in a certain way it’s reminiscent of that last “situation” with our daughter where her hugely poor behavior coincided with other issues. It was fairly common for more than one thing to be going on at the same time and quite frankly, was too much. Moving is a major stressor. Best guess he hasn’t thought of YOUR extreme stress one bit. Only his.</p><p></p><p>On the positive side, he has demonstrated much ability to hold down a job and to attend class regularly. I hope he isn’t using the move as an excuse to fall apart.</p><p></p><p>But, it’s as if a piece is missing and he gets pulled back into his addiction when the going gets tough.</p><p></p><p>I vaguely recall he didn’t like AA or this type of support. Yet, he definately seems to need something.</p><p></p><p>You’ve certainly done everything in your power to get him the help he needs and to be supportive.</p><p></p><p>This does seem like the breaking point. Certainly for you and your husband. Both literally and figuratively. A move represents change and a new beginning. You’ve sacrificed in hopes that your son can and will lead a healthy and successful life. You’ve role modeled that as well. But as I ve said here before, he must take the ball and run with it. Instead, he dropped the ball completely.</p><p></p><p>This, to me is a good step. A much needed boundary. It might of been somewhat debatable that he would stay with you anyway due to his age and the move. But his behaviors indicate it’s NOT debatable. He needs autonomy , consequences, boundaries and a wake up call.</p><p></p><p>It was a realization, in a certain way, I had myself in our situation. We are at an age that this is greatly hurting us. Life is too short. We deserve peace and happiness. We gave and gave some more. It provided little and mostly no help. These were her choices.</p><p></p><p>Our adult children simply need to grow up. On a smaller scale , we did this with our son. Sort of a “tough love” approach. And he rose to the occasion and is very successful today. We pulled back and he found the inner strength and pride to make it in on his own with no help from us. He is ultra responsible today.</p><p></p><p>Sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Remember, he has demonstrated some ability. A true positive sign. But…it’s up to him. Not you.</p><p></p><p> I will pray often. I know these next few weeks in particular will be very challenging. Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 762556, member: 4152"] Im so sorry. What a shocking and sorrowful turn of events. And in a certain way it’s reminiscent of that last “situation” with our daughter where her hugely poor behavior coincided with other issues. It was fairly common for more than one thing to be going on at the same time and quite frankly, was too much. Moving is a major stressor. Best guess he hasn’t thought of YOUR extreme stress one bit. Only his. On the positive side, he has demonstrated much ability to hold down a job and to attend class regularly. I hope he isn’t using the move as an excuse to fall apart. But, it’s as if a piece is missing and he gets pulled back into his addiction when the going gets tough. I vaguely recall he didn’t like AA or this type of support. Yet, he definately seems to need something. You’ve certainly done everything in your power to get him the help he needs and to be supportive. This does seem like the breaking point. Certainly for you and your husband. Both literally and figuratively. A move represents change and a new beginning. You’ve sacrificed in hopes that your son can and will lead a healthy and successful life. You’ve role modeled that as well. But as I ve said here before, he must take the ball and run with it. Instead, he dropped the ball completely. This, to me is a good step. A much needed boundary. It might of been somewhat debatable that he would stay with you anyway due to his age and the move. But his behaviors indicate it’s NOT debatable. He needs autonomy , consequences, boundaries and a wake up call. It was a realization, in a certain way, I had myself in our situation. We are at an age that this is greatly hurting us. Life is too short. We deserve peace and happiness. We gave and gave some more. It provided little and mostly no help. These were her choices. Our adult children simply need to grow up. On a smaller scale , we did this with our son. Sort of a “tough love” approach. And he rose to the occasion and is very successful today. We pulled back and he found the inner strength and pride to make it in on his own with no help from us. He is ultra responsible today. Sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Remember, he has demonstrated some ability. A true positive sign. But…it’s up to him. Not you. I will pray often. I know these next few weeks in particular will be very challenging. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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