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Substance Abuse
My son relapsed
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762567" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>When I first read this I understood it in another way. Which I will share in a moment.</p><p></p><p>You all know I adopted my son. I knew something about his birth parents' lives and what they had come to, and the circumstances into which my son had been born. I was so in love with him all I saw and felt was that, my love for him. He was G-d's gift to me. </p><p></p><p>Last week was especially crushing for me, as my son returned here for a few days. I said to a trusted friend, <em>it's as if my whole life was a death wish. </em>What I meant was that by my choice to adopt my son, governed by my love for him, I had set in motion a story that would end in the deepest anguish and sometimes the wish to die to escape it. </p><p></p><p>And then when I felt better I put this into another context, from which I misread RN's words. I read them, that we are all of us going to die, on the way to death. No mother here or child here will not one day die. We are all going to the same place. In this sense, none of us get a fully happy ending. </p><p></p><p>Yet, there is great emancipation in this. This is the truth of our lives. But it isn't sad. We are all of us left with the responsibility to live well when we are here. And living well, in my book, is what we are learning to do here on this forum. </p><p></p><p>Living well entails accepting reality, taking great hits to the gut and heart, and tolerating despair without caving. In my view, all of these things bring us to G-d. Stepping out in front of our adult children to save them or protect them from their own crushing reality is, I believe, to deprive them of their true purpose in this life, for which all of us are here: To learn to live fully and well, as good and strong people by finding the only things in life that are worth having. Oh, I have changed so much since I have been here on this forum. Be well and happy, RN. And everyone here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762567, member: 18958"] When I first read this I understood it in another way. Which I will share in a moment. You all know I adopted my son. I knew something about his birth parents' lives and what they had come to, and the circumstances into which my son had been born. I was so in love with him all I saw and felt was that, my love for him. He was G-d's gift to me. Last week was especially crushing for me, as my son returned here for a few days. I said to a trusted friend, [I]it's as if my whole life was a death wish. [/I]What I meant was that by my choice to adopt my son, governed by my love for him, I had set in motion a story that would end in the deepest anguish and sometimes the wish to die to escape it. And then when I felt better I put this into another context, from which I misread RN's words. I read them, that we are all of us going to die, on the way to death. No mother here or child here will not one day die. We are all going to the same place. In this sense, none of us get a fully happy ending. Yet, there is great emancipation in this. This is the truth of our lives. But it isn't sad. We are all of us left with the responsibility to live well when we are here. And living well, in my book, is what we are learning to do here on this forum. Living well entails accepting reality, taking great hits to the gut and heart, and tolerating despair without caving. In my view, all of these things bring us to G-d. Stepping out in front of our adult children to save them or protect them from their own crushing reality is, I believe, to deprive them of their true purpose in this life, for which all of us are here: To learn to live fully and well, as good and strong people by finding the only things in life that are worth having. Oh, I have changed so much since I have been here on this forum. Be well and happy, RN. And everyone here. [/QUOTE]
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