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My Son the addict
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 668584" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi La Mesa, wish things were better for you. It is tough when you want to go one way and Dad wants to go the other. My difficult children learned to use this to their advantage.I became the target, the bad guy.</p><p>Folks come to realization in their own time. Meanwhile, what about you? Please find ways to take extra care of yourself, do something nice for yourself. You are important.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This happens to me, too. Our bodies can only take so much. This is the unhealthy part of having difficult adult children at home, or not, it is a never ending roller coaster ride, one that YOU did not opt to be on. I am sure that folks at meetings have seen it all. If the meetings are helping you keep going, if they are not maybe consider counseling. I went and it helped to talk to a professional, I thought I was losing my mind. In reality, I had lost my peace of mind.It helps to keep coming here, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I hope things will be better for you and the family La Mesa. This sort of thing has hit epidemic proportions, and yes, there must be something done.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is from your 9/4 post. I understand your dilemma when your son is on the streets (my daughter is out there somewhere). We ended up putting ourselves and our home at risk by allowing her to live at home. She had no desire to stop, and ended up bringing sketchy characters to our house, denying any drug use. It was scary.</p><p></p><p>Looking back, I was so wrapped up in the drama of dealing with my two difficult children, I was not able to properly care for myself, or my young son, or have a decent relationship with my other two adult children. It has been <em>years </em>of back and forth, worry and frustration. My oldest just turned 36, middle will be 27 (she has 3 of her own children).</p><p></p><p>We are realizing after all of these years that by "helping", we only enabled these two to continue in their destructive ways, our focus was on them, and their focus was on projecting their problems on us.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry, I know you understand this and are trying to find a way to get the hubby to. That is a great frustration. I have to figure out what to do if my husband caves in. I cannot tolerate having the tornado in my house again. Yes it is hard not knowing how and where my two girls are, but it is way worse when they are at home and using. I have decided to put them in God's hands and pray for the day when they decide to stop the nonsense.They are adults and make their own choices. I have no control over them, I have to <em><strong>take back</strong></em> control of my life.</p><p></p><p>In the midst of all of this, I started taking an art class. It has been a respite to create, to do something I enjoy. It is my happy place. It is important to be able to take mini vacations (if only for an hour or two) from the craziness. I hope you can find a happy place of your own.</p><p></p><p>Please take care, you are not alone. Many here have gone through, or are going through similar trials.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 668584, member: 19522"] Hi La Mesa, wish things were better for you. It is tough when you want to go one way and Dad wants to go the other. My difficult children learned to use this to their advantage.I became the target, the bad guy. Folks come to realization in their own time. Meanwhile, what about you? Please find ways to take extra care of yourself, do something nice for yourself. You are important. This happens to me, too. Our bodies can only take so much. This is the unhealthy part of having difficult adult children at home, or not, it is a never ending roller coaster ride, one that YOU did not opt to be on. I am sure that folks at meetings have seen it all. If the meetings are helping you keep going, if they are not maybe consider counseling. I went and it helped to talk to a professional, I thought I was losing my mind. In reality, I had lost my peace of mind.It helps to keep coming here, too. I hope things will be better for you and the family La Mesa. This sort of thing has hit epidemic proportions, and yes, there must be something done. This is from your 9/4 post. I understand your dilemma when your son is on the streets (my daughter is out there somewhere). We ended up putting ourselves and our home at risk by allowing her to live at home. She had no desire to stop, and ended up bringing sketchy characters to our house, denying any drug use. It was scary. Looking back, I was so wrapped up in the drama of dealing with my two difficult children, I was not able to properly care for myself, or my young son, or have a decent relationship with my other two adult children. It has been [I]years [/I]of back and forth, worry and frustration. My oldest just turned 36, middle will be 27 (she has 3 of her own children). We are realizing after all of these years that by "helping", we only enabled these two to continue in their destructive ways, our focus was on them, and their focus was on projecting their problems on us. I am sorry, I know you understand this and are trying to find a way to get the hubby to. That is a great frustration. I have to figure out what to do if my husband caves in. I cannot tolerate having the tornado in my house again. Yes it is hard not knowing how and where my two girls are, but it is way worse when they are at home and using. I have decided to put them in God's hands and pray for the day when they decide to stop the nonsense.They are adults and make their own choices. I have no control over them, I have to [I][B]take back[/B][/I] control of my life. In the midst of all of this, I started taking an art class. It has been a respite to create, to do something I enjoy. It is my happy place. It is important to be able to take mini vacations (if only for an hour or two) from the craziness. I hope you can find a happy place of your own. Please take care, you are not alone. Many here have gone through, or are going through similar trials. (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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