My son has become my living nightmare! This may sound like I'm exaggerating but if you take the time to read my story you'll see exactly what I mean. I'm not the first to post about a difficult child and I won't be the last nor am I the only one having a difficult time getting help. Let me just state that our home is stable with loving parents and a great support system so to ask if this behavior may be related to a bad home life would be way off! It all started from the day he could start walking and talking and has only seemed to escalate every year after that but to not make this story pages long I'll discuss just what's gone on recently. My son is 12, he's been diagnosed with psychosis, ADHD, mood disorder with psychotic tendencies and ODD. He loves to make everyone around him miserable! If you're stressed by his actions and he can see that, he'll smile because he knows he's succeeded in making you unhappy and if he sees you're happy or laughing, it won't be long before he makes sure to change that. It's a lot easier said than done to contain your emotions when your child has brought you to such an angry, stressed state that seems to last every moment they're awake. He steals, cheats, lies, is very aggressive, abusive, raids our pantry of all the food and hides the trash throughout the house(as of today now has a lock handle), sets fires, spray painted our backyard when we had my mother in law babysit who didn't listen to us when we said it only takes a second for you to not look and he'll find something to get into. He eats out of the garbage can(the city one mind you) that smells like death and is beyond filthy and and filled with germs and yes he's well fed, there's no reasoning behind it! We gave him the chore of throwing out the trash to feel like he had a job but he managed to ruin that.You can't take your eye off him for a second because his mind will be thinking of the next sneaky thing to do and he doesn't care if he's caught. Most recently and this is more serious, he's been hearing voices again that are telling him to harm himself or others and one of the voices told him to stab himself but he said he won't because it'll hurt but maybe one day he'll just listen and do it and yes we've taken every knife and locked it up but a child/person with his mentality can make anything a weapon. He's been in and out of acute treatment centers for years with barely any luck on help because insurance will only pay for 10 days at a time. His medications are changed, he tells the doctors what they want to hear so he's released and it's back to terror in our home and he's glad to be out just to terrorize us! He's currently in an acute treatment center but it won't be long before he's home again but I can honestly say I don't want him home anymore. He went in 2 weeks ago, was released and was back in 3 days later for choking my younger son! He had him up against the door with his forearm against his neck trying to make him stop breathing! I've called so many places asking for help on what else I can do to place him somewhere for a long period of time but I've had no luck! Insurance won't pay for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I don't have thousands of dollars to shell out a month to pay out of pocket. All I've been told is to call CPS and ask them to help me and see if they'll take him but I don't know what that'll mean. Will I get in trouble, will I see him again? His therapist said it's very hard to have CPS take him because there's already so many kids in the system that they can't place whose parents were in my same predicament.Or foster care, I've heard they have special foster homes to handle kids like him. He's a danger to our family when he's here and I'm afraid he's going to succeed in hurting my youngest because he just doesn't care. He doesn't have feelings like most people do, no emotion for anything but hate and pure evil! It's hard for anyone not in this situation to understand or to not criticize but as his parent I have dealt with this for too many years with no improvements. Yes I've done counseling for him, he sees a psychiatrist, special classes, on medications, the whole works of outside help I can find but nothing helps him! I feel at this point it's either get him out of the house or our family will soon be on the news because he killed my younger son. I'm lost, I'm tired and I feel like I've reached the end of the rope and no one seems to want to help until it's too late!