My son, the traveller

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by addie, Mar 9, 2012.

  1. addie

    addie New Member

    I can't get a blue line on this, the cursor thingie, for some reason. Oh well, I will get used to this iPad, which lets me lie in bed with a glass of wine while working (!)

    David went to college for music management which would have enabled him to keep me in my old age - NOT. He could not manage accounting (can't blame him for that as I couldn't either) but worked part time at HMV so when he dropped out, he moved to the big city and thought he would get a job with the same company there.
    David is a very charming young man, but not all (me included) are blinded by it. He did not get a good reference from previous HMV so was jobless for a while. We subbed him, reluctantly. Then he to the most fantastic one, with an adventure travel company. In just a bit more than a year he went from part time temp to full time permanent, and one of the benefits is one of their trips free, including airfare, per year.
    So last year it was Peru, going up the Amazon, and Macchu Picchu. This year it was going to be Vietnam and I think Cambodia or Thailand.
    He has told us he is going to quit the job, go to California for a music festival, then on to Guatemala for a volunteer stint. Of course, perhaps in a bid to touch my (financial) heart, he says " following in your footsteps, mom" as I did a volunteer abroad thing early January.
    we have not and will not offer him money. In a bid to get him to keep his once in a lifetime job, I have offered to pay for a trip to Guatemala in return for a commitment from him to stay in his job for a minimum 2 years, when he has enough vacation days. O

    Sorry for the errors in this, I am just not used to it yet. It is NOT the wine as I haven't had any yet.

    I will try to keep it short. I think due to David's early years, when all the people with power in his life were female, foster mothers and social workers, he does not like working for women unless they are taken in by his easy charm. He was working for a woman with the travel company who loved him and another promotion was in the cards, but she has gone on mat leave and the new woman can, I think, see through him and (sadly) see underneath. No promotion. No more happy happy David. So he's just walking away.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, Addie... I'm so sorry. You know, though, when I was about his age, I had the same sort of idea about "getting away", and something came up and it didn't happen. Maybe that will happen for him, too.
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    He'd be crazy to give up that job! What a great opportunity for him. I hope your enticement works.
  4. addie

    addie New Member

    Hello, Witz! I was caatching up with you on PE or somewhere, and wanted to say hi but had nothing to add to the subject that had not already been said. Being a budding Buddhist, I'm with the walk away, let it go group, especially Marcie Mac, but I am not in your shoes so ...
    Also, love your Joanna picture. She's one of my heros (Ghurkas) and fav people in general.

    I can't work out how to update my profile. David is 26 this year. What he is doing is irresponsible and immature. BUT it is unlikely he will marry (can't trust women not to let him down) and while I will try to spend as much as possible before I go, he will inherit from us; we can't leave anything except a token to Chrissie and Jess as it would affect their respective welfare payments and at least Chrissie would not know how to re-apply.

    It's a clash of life long work ethics with ...why not?
    He did not deserve the job, in a way, because I wrote his grade 12 English which enabled him to get his grade 12, as we all know how many don't quite make it and don't go back, and he did not finish college, so the job, while wonderful, is easy come, easy go.
    i just hope it happens to him again and that he never has to face the stark, cold realities of this economy, this world in general today.
  5. addie

    addie New Member

    Hello Loth! Been seeing you around too.
    I have had many other variations of ideas around his decision but when people don't agree with David, he tunes out. He's not replying to my emails.
    e.g. I pay for him to do an ESL course so he can at least do,this sort of travel and be paid, instead of paying to do it. He keeps his job while he does the course. Or he asks for unpaid leave to do volunteer work.
    I think he is determined. He intends to resign early April.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the update. I've always pictured him as "artsy" "airy" and determined, lol, to do his own thing. Sounds like he's lucked out so far and hope he falls into something good soon...or...listens to you. Hugs DDD
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Maybe up the bribe....or scare him back into reality. But we are all on our own path in this world and you may have to just let it go. Sending peace and love. Definately drink the wine.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I realize David is a difficult child, but perhaps some of this is him attempting to find his niche, where he "fits in", what he's good at. It's a shame he can't see the good sense in keeping a good job in a lousy economy when such jobs are hard to find while he's out there searching for that something that clicks for him.

    How are Chrissie and Jess doing?

  9. addie

    addie New Member

    Oh,, Lisa, thanks! Lol - David was my easy child!!!!
    Chrisse and Jess reunited with their bio- mom and to be honest, that culture is where they belong. For historic reasons, there are many people like them in that city, though sadly the social services put in place for them are shrinking, but they fit in better than here.
    Chrissie living with a boyfriend and his mother, and as stabilized as possible. On ODSP (welfare) and managing, but her rages prompted her HERSELF (encourage by daughter boyfriend I think, or his mom) to go back on her medications. She had threatened him with a butchers knife. He dropped the charges when she agreed to go back on medications, but she is a bit of a character in that city. When in court, which is often, the police kindly ask her to use her indoor voice. Basically, she's happy, and sporadically stays in touch.
    jess is not good. In an abusive relationship, 20 weeks pregnant, scraping by on whatever welfare she can get as there is not a lot of provision for people who appear to have normal intelligence. She is a sociopath, and cannot have anyone in authority over her. Also she will never, ever do anything she does not want to, which includes school or seeking work. Like the others, sporadically stays in touch.
    they always come home for Christmas. Jess can't stay the night, as I am too afraid of her, but they actually dont want to, just happy to be home for the day.
    thanks for asking. They are almost 22, 24 and 26 now.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, even PCs can be immature. LOL

    So glad to hear Chrissie is back on her medications and has reached a level of stability, as well as having found someone who obviously cares for her. :) Sorry to hear about Jess. It's hard to know your child is in an abusive relationship, that is so hard on a parent.

    Travis is 25, will be 26 in June. He's doing pretty well, except he's discovered that a college degree may not be in his future and he's trying to cope and adjust to that fact. He gave it one hellova try, but college degrees require english courses.........and his deficits are in language, of course, trying to organize his thoughts and put them to paper is a monumental task that he often can't manage. He is a developer of an online game, which keeps him occupied while we wait on his disability.

    Nichole is 22 and will be 23 in June. She's been off medications for some time and is stable and doing well. A married woman now with 2 children. Aubrey is 5 and our newest family member Oliver is 6 months.

    Katie (stepgfg) has only managed to grow older. She moved back to town in Oct of 2010. We haven't spoken since shortly after husband passed away in Oct 2011.