My son called me, after 5 weeks hearing nothing. I had told him that I would think about blocking his calls, if he continued disrespecting me, by mocking abuse I experienced by my father. So, he cut me off. He says he was attacked by several men with knives, was stabbed, hospitalized and had surgery during this interval. I was OK for the first 20 minutes after we hung up. Now, I cannot stop shaking. I want to go and find him and just watch him so I know he is safe. And not let him leave. Ever. But I do not know where he is staying except the general area. You know how a scared dog shakes? Tremors that come from deep inside. Uncontrollable tremors. I am that dog. What follows was written before I turned into a terrified animal: My son baits Meth addicts, because they trigger him. He thinks they do not have the where with all to be a threat to him because they are disorganized and ineffective. The men who attacked him, knew who he was, remembered him and came after him. Perhaps now, he understands. But I do not think so. When he gets his SSI check he will return to live on the street in the metropolitan area near us, to avoid the street life here in our smaller town. Then he mentioned going to Montana. We know nobody there, nor have we ever been nearby. What about the cold? I could not help but say, would it not be easier to go back to college? He seems to not understand, still, that others expect him to pay his way. Especially since he gets free money (SSI.) He counters that he is still symptomatic so cannot work. OK, your choice, but accept that others may still expect you to pay your part, and resent it when you do not. If your symptoms are bothersome, and restrict you, get treatment. Your choice. Does detachment require that I say nothing? I fear this is so. And I keep blowing it. Something must be said because it seems that my son's life may be at risk in ways I had not even thought of. I want him to live long enough to have a chance. One cannot teach judgment. I know that. And there is not one thing that I can do. I love you, I said.