My son who we kicked out is PROUD of what hes doing...

[rosepress]

My youngest son told me that my 14 year old nephew who has a host of problems himself "saw" my son's new "profile picture" on his FB this morning....2o years old and he is sitting down against a wall smoking a blunt...I tried to protect and say it was a cigar, but they all know better. This is why I am not crying yet..I am still angry at the level of immaturity he is portraying...what a good influence on the younger members of my family. The weed is like his "Identity".....how sad. Not to mention the pills.

I know one day I will lose it and the floodgates of tears will pour.....but for now I am still angry. I am angry at him for his choices and immaturity, angry at the drugs he takes, and angry because I know there is a sweet, smart, young man inside somewhere. I like staying mad than sad.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I always appreciate those moments of anger - so much easier to stand firm and hold our boundaries when we are angry...alas, I can never stay angry, though.

 

[pasajes4]

Angry can be good when it helps to detach or to see it as it really is and not what we wish it to be.

 

[DaisyFace]

My youngest son told me that my 14 year old nephew who has a host of problems himself "saw" my son's new "profile picture" on his FB this morning....2o years old and he is sitting down against a wall smoking a blunt...I tried to protect and say it was a cigar, but they all know better. This is why I am not crying yet..I am still angry at the level of immaturity he is portraying...what a good influence on the younger members of my family.

Sadly - he IS being an example for younger family members....and one you may as well discuss honestly. Ask the younger ones if that looks like something they want to do? Does it look "fun" or "cool" ? Does your son look happy and successful? Is that the kind of life they envision for themselves?

Nothing turns kids away from alcohol and drugs faster than knowing a real-life loser.

So sorry....

 

[BusynMember]

My two youngest kids learned a lot from their drug using older sister...basically that they wanted to be NOTHING like her. So it goes both ways. Both are teens now and none have ever taken drugs or even drank.

It's not a bad thing to be angry. You SHOULD be angry at him. He is throwing his life away. I was very angry at my daughter too. I cried too, but it was the anger that kept me from giving in.

 

[Signorina]

At the very least, you can stop second guessing yourself about asking him to leave. Clearly, he is out of touch with your family's morals and isn't feeling even a teensy bit humble or regretful.

My son cut me off from FB when he left - so I have no way of knowing if he posted anything. That said, his behavior was in the same spirit as your difficult child's and it both angered me and saddened me. I was so sure that he would be reexamining his life choices with in moments if not days of being asked to leave. Then I thought weeks, then I hoped months and tbh - even though he is back home - I can't be sure that he ever took ownership in his downfall.

On the brightside - this EGO-y, stubborn, hardheadedness often serves them well and keeps them from being victimized when they are on their own. Not much solace, I know...

I am sorry if I am being a downer - but I was so unprepared when my son didn't grasp the error of his ways within days, months, years... in fact; he was "living the life" for a long time, not an ounce of humility to be found. So hold tight, be strong and know that you are drawing a necessary line in the sand, especially with a younger sibling at home.

I know it's hard and I know it hurts.

{{{hugs}}}

 

[toughlovin]

Same with my daughter, she has absolutely no desire to be like her brother.

 

[Kathy813]

It's called bravado and will wear off when he gets hungry and realizes that he can't take care of himself.

Add me to the list of having a younger sibling to my difficult child that wants nothing to do with drugs after watching difficult child spiral down into that life. My easy child graduated from college with honors and is starting her third year of teaching. She is totally responsible and trustworthy and has a wonderful life ahead of her.

Both are our biological children, same set of married parents, same home, same rules, same religious upbringing. I am more convinced than ever that it is all hard wired into them and that our difficult child lost the genetic lottery.

~kathy