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My Son Will Be Sentenced in April..I need help with a question!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 707662" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>If he isn't living with you now, send ALL mail back to the post office with NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS on the envelope. That is part of starting the paper trail to prove that he doesn't live at your address as of this date. Mail him something via certified mail if you have to, just to get that started. </p><p></p><p>Be SURE to be in court for his hearings and to tell the judge that he is not living with you and that you are not willing to having him there for his probation. Be aware that it very well may impact his sentence, meaning he may have to serve jail time if he does not have an established home to live in. Often a home with friends, without parents or other supervising adults, is not considered an established home. At least in my area it is not. If a person does not have an 'established' home to live in, then they get time in jail or prison. </p><p></p><p>I would not let this change your decision. If your son has had other criminal charges, then he clearly is not getting the message that this is not the way to live. He may need to spend some time behind bars to learn that this is not the way to build a successful life. If you have other children, it is not fair to punish them because he has made these choices. It is also not fair to sacrifice them on the altar of his bad behavior. Even if you do not have other children, that is YOUR home, your sanctuary and YOU do not deserve to have to deal with the intrusion of probation officers into your home. You didn't break the law and clearly you have already been through this once. That is more than enough to allow your child the chance to learn from a mistake. After that, he needs harsher consequences, and those include not being allowed to live in your home and inflict those consequences on you. </p><p></p><p>Of course this is just my opinion and you must do what feels right for you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 707662, member: 1233"] If he isn't living with you now, send ALL mail back to the post office with NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS on the envelope. That is part of starting the paper trail to prove that he doesn't live at your address as of this date. Mail him something via certified mail if you have to, just to get that started. Be SURE to be in court for his hearings and to tell the judge that he is not living with you and that you are not willing to having him there for his probation. Be aware that it very well may impact his sentence, meaning he may have to serve jail time if he does not have an established home to live in. Often a home with friends, without parents or other supervising adults, is not considered an established home. At least in my area it is not. If a person does not have an 'established' home to live in, then they get time in jail or prison. I would not let this change your decision. If your son has had other criminal charges, then he clearly is not getting the message that this is not the way to live. He may need to spend some time behind bars to learn that this is not the way to build a successful life. If you have other children, it is not fair to punish them because he has made these choices. It is also not fair to sacrifice them on the altar of his bad behavior. Even if you do not have other children, that is YOUR home, your sanctuary and YOU do not deserve to have to deal with the intrusion of probation officers into your home. You didn't break the law and clearly you have already been through this once. That is more than enough to allow your child the chance to learn from a mistake. After that, he needs harsher consequences, and those include not being allowed to live in your home and inflict those consequences on you. Of course this is just my opinion and you must do what feels right for you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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My Son Will Be Sentenced in April..I need help with a question!
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