Hello...this is my first post in this forum. Yesterday, I feel like my entire world came crashing down. I am a mother of three young boys...5 1/2, 4 1/2 and 4 months old. We are a fairly happy, well-adjusted family. My husband is in the military and we were both abused as children, but we are able to have a fairly normal marriage and enjoy our kids. There is nothing besides the stresses in our extended family and military life (which can be significant) I can think of that would qualify as abnormal within the walls of our home. My oldest son was playing outside with the neighborhood kids and I noticed he was being rough and aggressive with another little girl. He was grabbing her legs and trying to look up her skirt. I made him come inside, go into timeout, spoke to him, and made him apologize. My father was visiting so he also spoke to my son. He was embarassed and both kids seemed like they wanted me to drop it, so I did. We were watching my neighbor and good friends daughter briefly, and when she came to pick her up the kids (my two oldest sons and her daughter, who is three) went upstairs to play. My middle son started screaming about a bug and I ran upstairs, and noticed the bedroom door was shut. I went to open it and noticed the door was locked. I got a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and banged on the door. My son said "one minute!" I screamed at him to open the door NOW and got ready to kick it open (I keep a thingy to push open the locks but didn't even think of it). He opened the door and my friends girl was standing there with her pants down around her hips..her underwear were on. My immediate reaction was to, honestly, beat the **** out of my child. I have never felt that way before. I was molested at age 4 and have no sympathy for people who touch others. I tried to be as calm as possible because I did not want to traumatize either of the children, but brought my son downstairs and put him in time out. I then took my friend to the side (she was talking with my father) and told her exactly what I saw. She is a therapist and did not seem concerned, even saying that this was "normal". She listened outside the door as I questioned my son but he would not tell me until she left. He was crying, shaking, banging on things and hyperventilating. He was afraid I would "kill him" and wouldn't love him anymore. I explained that I was first and foremost concerned about the little girl and that he needed to tell me exactly what happened so I could make sure that they were both taken care of. (I need to make a note that my son has always shown early signs of sexual behaviors-he has been trying to kiss girls and has been caught kissing them and peeking at them as early as 2, he talks about girlfriends and getting married and becomes emotional about girls). My son told me that he put his penis on her vagina (on, not in). I almost vomited. How in the world did he know how to do this? He just had a little brother and I took great care to try and balance the information I gave them. He is a very smart child but that is a very specific behavior. He has never walked in on my husband and I together. He is not in daycare. We do not have cable t.v. (PBS is all we watch when we do, or the weather channel). I am fairly protective and I do watch him when he plays outside but do not hear what happens all the time. He is not in kindergarten yet but goes to activities with other kids where I am not around. He is a busybody and teaching him about societal boundaries has been our greatest challenge (ex: sharing our address with strangers). He is otherwise kindhearted and when I was speaking to him about how his actions have created stress in a good friendship I began crying, and he brought me a tissue and began crying himself. He has told my husband, myself, and my father that no one has even touched his private areas and explained that he has done this two times...once previous time we did not know about with the same girl and once when I caught him. He locked the door and made sure my other son was not there on pupose. This is what bothers me to no end. I made an appointment tomorrow with his doctor, who I trust, to try and figure out what puzzle piece we are missing, if any. It's for us all. My husband has taken him on a long walk and talked with him, and my son told him he eats so much food so he can grow up and "do that stuff" (sexual things) and that he was curious and wanted to know what girl parts look like. We have explained to him that he may have hurt a lot of people in his curiosity and that curiosity was acceptable but NOT acting on it, especially not with younger children and not locked in a room. We explained that he has created tension in our friendship and maybe has hurt the girl, and he seems more concerned with his own feelings than the girl. He loves me and treats me well, but he has always has a sort of attitude about women. I am a stay at home mother but very athletic and have taught him how to do many things my husband is bad at, like throwing a football and playing soccer. I don't know what to do. My friend did not seem concerned, but I am afraid her husband will end our friendship because he is understandably protective of his daughter, who is a sweet innocent little thing. Their family is also going through the wringer with serious illness and don't need anymore tension. I am afraid to let my son be alone with any other child. We have a small dog and he is very kind to her...he sometimes cuddles her too much and she get annoyed but he has always been nice to animals. He does display signs of anxiety and that would run right in line with me and my family history, and seems to be taking this very seriously. We want him to, but we also don't want to damage him because we tend to look at things in a different light as we were raised in tumultuous environments. Could there be something wrong with my son? Will this little girl be harmed from their encounters? I have not told my friend yet that my son has done this at her house. I am afraid to but I will because it is the right thing to do, but I am going to take him to the doctor first. She has told me to stop beating myself up, but I feel guilty, ashamed, isolated, and need to seek out professional advice to learn a way to approach this that isn't detrimental to my son. I have told him that I am angry with him but still love him...sort of like how he feels when I have gotten mad and yelled. He still loves me, but he didn't like what I did and the way it made him feel. I am sorry this is so long. I am so afraid for my friends child, for my son, and dare I say it...for me and my husband. We have both seen a lot of families suffer for less and are hoping we can approach this like a community- but know it rarely happens. Is there any advice for me and my husband? I understand that dealing with your childrens sexual behaviors and those feelings are normal, and if my son hadn't locked himself in a room with a younger girl I would be handling it as a normal phase in development.