My son's redneck in-laws

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Let me start by saying that I really do like my daughter-in-law; considering how she was raised she does really well. BUT they (son, daughter in law, and 3 grandkids) had to go to Oklahoma this week where her folks live BECAUSE....
    Her mom and dad sent money for them to drive down because they own a car. Mom and Dad and two sons are at home and a third son is in the neighborhood (we won't mention the other son who is in prison) and they need to get the car registered but NONE OF THEM HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE so nobody can register it. So they want to register the car in my daughter-in-law's name. I told my son this was not a good idea because if they get in a wreck or something happens (like one of the brothers uses it as a get away car:tongue:) I think it might mean trouble for her but of course moms don't know anything so they went and did it. They are supposed to be home tonight.
    Is that just plain STUPID or is it me?:faint:
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, I take it this isn't daughter in law's smartest decision. But, it probably would have caused her problems with her family if she hadn't done it. Let's just hope it's temporary. Any chance the in-laws will get a license soon?
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Actually- could daughter in law get in trouble for this? She now has a car registered in her name in a state that she is not a resident in. And I'm sure any cop could figure out she "mislead" DMV.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Not the brightest decision by far.

    But if it makes you feel any easy child has got herself in a similar situation with her inlaws, only it involves houses........and while listened to my warnings decided to do it anyway because sister in law wants to please his mother. Only good thing to the mess is that it's legal. Otherwise.....I'm just praying easy child and sister in law won't get burned bad by this one.

    I guess this is going to be one she's going to have to learn the hard way. I hope those guys get a license before trying to drive that car....somehow I doubt it though.

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. NOT everyone in OK is like that!!!! But I know people who have done similar things and worse. I hope this does not end badly.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    It's NOT you. It's STUPID. :slap:
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It wouldn't be a problem Down Under, because the person driving the car is the one in trouble if they do something wrong. And our police will go to a lot of trouble to make sure who was driving the car. A court case just finalised today - a well-known Sydney judge tried to get out of a traffic fine (speeding, or running a red light or something) for $80, and told the police that it wasn't him driving, it was a friend of his visiting from the US. So they let him off the fine - until the police found out that the woman alleged to be driving the car, had actually died 18 months earlier. Then the judge supplied witnesses to testify that he had been with them at the time, it couldn't have been him, then another witness who said she had been driving the car - so SHE had egg on her face, for giving false witness. The police used the speed cameras as well as phoone records as well as restaurant receipts to prove people were where the police knew they were, instead of where the people said they were. It's really easy to do, the evidence is there.

    The judge's original intent was to avoid having yet another trffic infringement (doesn't look good, for a judge to have even traffic infringements). it seems there was an epidemic in the law courts of lawyers, solicitors and judges all lying their way out of traffic fines etc and getting away with it, so I suspect they went after Justice Einfeld to catch him out. It all seemed to have started with him, he had been suspected of pulling this stunt many times previously (like, he ALWAYS said it was someone else driving, to avoid it going onto his record) so the police were determined to staunch the epidemic.

    And today they did. After the various witnesses have had the book thrown at them for lying in court, after they've all been exposed and charged with perjury, Justice Einfeld has now been found guilty of attempting to pervert the course of justice and has got 3 years in jail.

    I just looked this up:

    So even if the car is owned by someone else, the responsibility to do the right thing should rest with whoever chooses to drive the car. As long as the car is insured appropriately, there should be no problem. If daughter in law's brother, say, drives the car into someone else's car and is in the wrong, then daughter in law's brother should be the one declared as the driver, and should then bear any costs.

    One important warning - daughter in law needs to be certain the car is insured for all possible drivers. She needs to put a statement in writing to her family (keep acopy, signed by the family and dated) that states the names of those who have her permission to drive the car, and making it clear than anyonoe else driving the car will be doing so without her permission and who will therefore have to bear full responsibility for any costs incurred as the result of any accidents.

    If her parents make a fuss about this, she can tell them that it is to protect them also, in the event that some kid decides to go for a joy ride, or one of her brothers thinks it's OK to lend the car to a mate. Because it is not, if it means the car's insurance wouldn't cover it.

    For example - we have two cars, husband's & mine. Mine is actuallt ther family car, it is in both our names, but it is not insured for an under 25 driver. husband's car IS insured for under 25 driver. So easy child 2/difficult child 2 may drive husband's car, but not mine, because she is still under 25.

    BF2 can drive, but does not have a driver's licence and so although he owns his own car, he doesn't drive it, easy child 2/difficult child 2 does. easy child 2/difficult child 2 will very soon go onto her "blacks" or full icence, and will then be legally entitled to teach BF2 to drive (he doesn't need lessons, but legally has to have a driver on blacks as supervising driver in the car, when he is behind the wheel, once he gets his Learner's Permit).

    I had a good relationship with my father, but whenever he lent us money or did anything else that was remotely requiring confirmation in writing, he put it in a letter (separate to anything chatty) and formalised it. If you were doing this with a friend or an acquaintance, it is what you should do. So why jeoparidse your family relationship by not doing this? All the more reason to formalise it, family is too important. You don't want any misunderstandings later on because either the parents or daughter in law forgot the fine details and got it wrong.

    I hope you can help her understand this. I do understand why she has done tis for her family - she feels obligated. But she needs to protect herself by making it all clear, so she can extricate herself if she needs to, without it causing too many problems for any other innocent party.

  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Ignorance and stupidity isn't running wild only in d i l's family.Mutt. Different kind of stupidity here but I watch it unfold in front of my eyes like a dramatic series.
    I keep repeating, " I will not be sucked in, I will not be sucked in".
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Poor daughter in law probably feels obligated too.
    I sure hope she reconsiders. This can be big trouble for her, especially if they are not the best drivers, and my guess is that they aren't!
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Another vote for stupid. :surprise:

    Yes Mom =- you are right. It's not very bright.
  11. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Yep, it's stupid! But what's done is done and I hope it doesn't come back to haunt her.

    Around here it could be a problem. If one of the unlicensed inlaws got stopped for something, they would be in trouble for whatever they had done. But if the car is registered in her name, it would be considered to be her car. And she could also get in trouble for allowing an unlicensed driver to drive her car.

    Not that we haven't ever fudged a little too though ... my son 'officially' lives here with me, even though he stays and works two counties over. His mail still comes here. The county where he 'stays' has a wheel tax and license plates cost four times as much in his county as they do in mine. So guess where his truck is registered! Would you rather pay almost $100 for license plates or just $24? ;)
  12. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    in my opinion, the problem is that a family without a drivers license owns a car in the first place. Since none of them should be driving it, the car should be in storage somewhere....whether on their property or at a storage facility. No registration necessary to store a vehicle.

    The only reason a vehicle needs to be registered is to drive it.

    So clearly, this family with no license intends to drive this car.

    daughter in law is definitely being stupid by helping them to break the law. And whether these folks do not have a license because they never learned to drive....or whether their license were suspended for DUI or a HUGE problem. These people should not be on the road at all!!

    And there are all kinds of scenarios whereby your daughter in law will be liable, regardless of letters she may write. For example, if they are stopped by police with no licensed driver in the car--the vehicle will be impounded and daughter in law will be liable for impound fees. And she will have to go pick up the car in person from the impound lot--fees accumulating each day that she waits.

    Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  13. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    In our state you have to have proof of insurance for the car so if any accidents happen they would look to her insurance company...... too much risk in my mind if anything does happen...... YIKES...... Do they not want to take a test or have they had licenses and are now suspended? Wouldn't touch this one with a ten foot pole.......
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The insurance requirements will compound the problem. Sorry. DDD
  15. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    The problem here is that you are all thinking like responsible, intelligent adults. They aren't. They aren't thinking, they aren't responsible, and they don't act like adults.
    Yes, they shouldn't have a car if they don't have a license. THey don't care; they think it is somebody else's fault for making such a stupid law.
    They should have licenses. I don't know if they had licenses and had them taken away or if they are too stupid to pass the test or what other things are in play. I know the youngest son (now 19) wanted to get his license but he had trouble getting a copy of his birth certificate so he couldn't get a license. Could he have gotten a copy? Yes, if he wanted to jump through all of the hoops - but he is too lazy - unconcerned - stupid- (pick one or all three) to do it.
    We are talking here about a mom who does not work, a dad who is on disability, an oldest son (at least 25) who is just out of prison for assaulting his wife and 7 y.o. daughter and who had a job but lost it for something stupid he did so he is unemployed and living with mommy and daddy. Next there are the twins (at least 23). One is in prison for attempted murder and the other is not such a bad kid but he is dumber than a box of rocks. He keeps a job at a fast food place long enough to get a girlfriend and then he loses her and is in some kind of trauma so he goes back to live with mommy and daddy. Then there is the youngest son, who I mentioned before. He was supporting the whole mess of them with his job at a fencing company but he got in a fight at work and lost his job so now he is unemplyed also, living with mommy and daddy. These 5 adults live in a two bedroom trailer. You can only imagine what it is like. Most of the time when I hear their stories I just laugh because what else can you do, Daughter in law tries to stay away (they all live at least 8 hours from us) but once in awhile they draw her in. They all just amaze me; when they are here I just sit and listen with my mouth open. Of course, they won't be here to visit any time soon because Mom has a warrant out for her in this state for stealing electricity from the electric company (and maybe some other things too). The whole family fights like cats and dogs. Grandma calls the cops on the daughters and vice versa. They are all feuding all the time. They would be great for an episode on some comedy show on TV, except that it's getting to the point that it's not funny any more; just pitiful
    Will they change? Will it get better? Will pigs fly?
  16. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    My thought was not to communicate with the family, just let your daughter-in-law know that she could bring a world of hurt on her "immediate" family...... and more than likely the results could follow them for a long time..... might be worth a shot talking to her and letting her know that she doesn't have to jump through their hoops...... hoping she got the best of the genes from the pool......
  17. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Here in CA, the registered owner has to carry insurance on the vehicle they own. We got a huge surprise on this when Hubby and I bought a car several years ago, and my mom agreed to cosign, but something got messed up and my mom and I are the co-owners. Her insurance company called, asking her about coverage on HER new car. It took us quite a while to straighten it out and convince all parties concerned that Hubby and I are carrying the insurance. I've gotten similar static on my car; since DMV wanted to charge me to change my name (I bought my car before Hubby and I were married), it's still in my maiden name. The insurance is in my married name.

    When Miss KT was a baby, Useless Boy got in an accident in my car, and I lost my license because I had let an unlicensed, uninsured driver drive my car. It didn't matter that I wasn't aware he had no license or insurance. Getting my license back was a major PITA. I don't trust anybody regarding my cars anymore.
  18. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    I had a brother ADD me on the title to a car he was buying - thinking if something ever happened to him, the car would become mine. UGH! When he was in a wreck with the car, without insurance, the owner of the other car made sure both "owners" of my brother's car had their driver's licenses suspended. I didn't even know about being the co-owner of the car, or the wreck, until I got a letter from the DMV informing me my license was suspended. That was a joy to correct.

    If someone is keeping a tally, daughter in law - STUPID move, Mutt - good advice.