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My story. The heartbreak.
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<blockquote data-quote="Irishlizzee" data-source="post: 713693" data-attributes="member: 21966"><p>I wanted to share my story because I really need some support right now. Three years ago my daughter turned 18. She was a troubled teen Who is bipolar and borderline personality disorder her, and refuses to take her medications. She also has a stealing and drug problem. As a parent, the hardest thing to do is to turn your child into the police. She stole from my husband and I over and over, and would never admit to stealing unless she was caught red-handed. We had her arrested when she stole my credit card and got caught on camera using it. She went through The juvenile system, but it didn't do much good. After she was 18, still living in our home, she went and stole $100 from my husband and kept breaking our house rules by bringing in people we didn't know overnight, sneaking in and out of the house, and not working on her school to graduate. After she stole from us for the last time, we gave her a choice. She could join job corps, Or get a job and move out. She didn't want to do either. So she very angrily pack your stuff and moved out. She moved in with her boyfriend whom she later married. They live with his parents for about a year, and it was a very volatile relationship. Both of them were abusive to one another. After he kicked her out, she wanted to come back home, but there was no way we could allow her to come back because she was still into drugs and still unmediated, and unemployed. We gave her again the option of joining job Corps, which she refused. She bounced around from couch to couch and hasn't had a stable place to live. She has been engaged in another volatile relationship with a man who is also as messed up as she is. Neither of them can hold down a job and they are often homeless and they fight all the time. She is 21 years old now and has not been able to hold down a job for more than 2 to 3 months. She has lived with her grandmother and stolen from her and pretty much burned every bridge that she has.</p><p></p><p> There's a lot more to the story in terms of detail, but I wanted to give you a general idea of what we've gone through as a parent. We have done everything we can to try and help this girl, but she doesn't believe she has any mental problems. She flat out refuses to take medication and believes that she only has anxiety, and can medicate herself with marijuana. </p><p></p><p> Here is my imperative. The entire three years she has been virtually homeless, she has blamed me. She's constantly calling me and telling me how I have failed her. She tries to get me wrapped up in her drama and then extorts me for money with emotional blackmail. I struggle on a daily basis because I want so badly to take her back into my arms and give her a mothers love. If I brought her back to the house my husband would probably leave because he believes she needs to figure this out on her own. But this is killing me. I weep for her every night. I feel so much guilt because I have the financial capacity to help her and I don't because I'm trying to give her Toughlove. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I feel responsible for her failure and think that if I had not asked her to leave at 18 years old she would be more stable and successful. So not only does she blame me, I blame myself. I just don't know what to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Irishlizzee, post: 713693, member: 21966"] I wanted to share my story because I really need some support right now. Three years ago my daughter turned 18. She was a troubled teen Who is bipolar and borderline personality disorder her, and refuses to take her medications. She also has a stealing and drug problem. As a parent, the hardest thing to do is to turn your child into the police. She stole from my husband and I over and over, and would never admit to stealing unless she was caught red-handed. We had her arrested when she stole my credit card and got caught on camera using it. She went through The juvenile system, but it didn't do much good. After she was 18, still living in our home, she went and stole $100 from my husband and kept breaking our house rules by bringing in people we didn't know overnight, sneaking in and out of the house, and not working on her school to graduate. After she stole from us for the last time, we gave her a choice. She could join job corps, Or get a job and move out. She didn't want to do either. So she very angrily pack your stuff and moved out. She moved in with her boyfriend whom she later married. They live with his parents for about a year, and it was a very volatile relationship. Both of them were abusive to one another. After he kicked her out, she wanted to come back home, but there was no way we could allow her to come back because she was still into drugs and still unmediated, and unemployed. We gave her again the option of joining job Corps, which she refused. She bounced around from couch to couch and hasn't had a stable place to live. She has been engaged in another volatile relationship with a man who is also as messed up as she is. Neither of them can hold down a job and they are often homeless and they fight all the time. She is 21 years old now and has not been able to hold down a job for more than 2 to 3 months. She has lived with her grandmother and stolen from her and pretty much burned every bridge that she has. There's a lot more to the story in terms of detail, but I wanted to give you a general idea of what we've gone through as a parent. We have done everything we can to try and help this girl, but she doesn't believe she has any mental problems. She flat out refuses to take medication and believes that she only has anxiety, and can medicate herself with marijuana. Here is my imperative. The entire three years she has been virtually homeless, she has blamed me. She's constantly calling me and telling me how I have failed her. She tries to get me wrapped up in her drama and then extorts me for money with emotional blackmail. I struggle on a daily basis because I want so badly to take her back into my arms and give her a mothers love. If I brought her back to the house my husband would probably leave because he believes she needs to figure this out on her own. But this is killing me. I weep for her every night. I feel so much guilt because I have the financial capacity to help her and I don't because I'm trying to give her Toughlove. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I feel responsible for her failure and think that if I had not asked her to leave at 18 years old she would be more stable and successful. So not only does she blame me, I blame myself. I just don't know what to do. [/QUOTE]
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