Hello All, I wish I found you all a bit sooner, actually a lot sooner. Somehow my years of surfing the web about out of control teenagers, I never came across your forum until now which is very surprising because I have been basically everywhere on the web regarding this topic for a very long time. However, I am glad I found it now, even though I basically came to a point of acceptance, if you can call it that. I really don't know what to call it. However, I would like to tell my story. I was a teen mother and struggled immensely, even for a teen mom. Her father committed suicide when she was a baby. I suffered from severe bipolar and PTSD. It's sad to say, despite my VERY best efforts (tried so desperately hard) she had a very chaotic childhood. I was always poor financially and always struggling. I just couldn't control our situation no matter how hard I worked. Do you not think my heart breaks in guilt over my daughters childhood? Every single day. I was fully aware of it happening and was powerless to stop or change anything. The fact of the matter is, there was never enough money and I had ZERO support. This little girl went through hell and it's the reason why she acts the way she does today and for the last five years, since she was 12 years old. My ex husband threw us out into the streets, became homeless and she lost all of her friends back then in the worst way. She is now 17 and my god, what an awful nightmare the last five years have been. Everything from abuse, screaming, yelling, my nose being broken, bullying me, humiliating me out in public on purpose, getting us thrown out of three different places, getting into trouble at school daily, putting us on a watch list, calling the police because I was scared of her up to 35 times, having to admit to my family members what was happening just to get a little bit of help from those jerks, and a TWO YEAR infestation of LICE...... just pure and literal hell. She annihilated me on almost a daily basis. Things have calmed down a bit recently , or I am just getting use to it by now, but we still have problems. In these last five years, I gained one hundred pounds from the pure stress. Have many health issues and I am certain that these last five years have shaved years off of my life. I don't know how clear to make these words, but I never, EVER , thought this is what I would be dealing with, especially everything that we had already went through. The worst part about it all was living in fear of my daughter every day. I really felt like a hostage and I was being terrorized. You know you have it bad when you start thinking jail might be a safer place for you to be than at home with your child. You start thinking that because your always scared your going to go to jail because your child keeps threatening you she will lie to the police and say you abuse her. Then you start thinking, maybe that's a good thing in the end just so you can get away from her. You know it's bad that you would give your house away, car and money, just so you can leave the situation and have some peace. However you're not legally allowed to do that. Never mind feeling all the shame that goes along with this and everybody knowing your problems. How utterly embarrassing. All of that has semi calmed down now, even though we do have flare ups. The thing that hurts the most is that I gave up everything I had for her, even though it wasn't a lot. I gave her everything, spoiled her. I go without clothes and a life, just so she can have. However, it was no where near enough. I just wish she could see that I tried so hard and I wish she could see that we wouldn't have this much if I didn't literally sacrifice everything. I even stayed single after me and my ex split up 5 years ago. I stayed single so I can devote all my time to her and make sure no step dad would take advantage of her. Anyway, something horrible happened back in October. She came out of her bedroom one night and said "mom , I think something is really wrong". A trip to the ER, we were informed she contracted herpes. She was diagnosed with Genital Herpes. I was her rock ever since it happened. How could my beautiful 16 year old daughter get herpes? Why her God? I know she's bad, but there are reasons for it and it's just a phase. Why does he have to keep smiting us? That's how it feels. Just beaten and beaten and beaten down some more. I am so sorry to God that I am talking and speaking this way, but WHY? I have been in shock for the last 7 months since the diagnosis, but it's finally starting to kick in. I wake up every morning in a panic. All of 2013 I had to worry about truancy because truancy came after us hard core threatening to throw me and her into jail, and then the Herpes diagnosis happened. It's like how much more can we possibly take. I just feel like giving up sometimes. One thing that has never changed is how much I love her, even though I get severely angry with her. She didn't deserve any of this and she is just acting out because of her childhood. Who wouldn't? I know it's not an excuse,, but come on, it's real and the truth. I just wish she knew I was on her side and there was nothing I could really do. She's just too damn young too understand. I just wanted to share my story for any other parent who might be going through the same.