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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 626580" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am really sorry for your hurting mommy heart, but I do want to straighten out your thinking.</p><p></p><p>This is not your fault, regardless of her childhood. Many kids have worst childhoods than her and do not act like she does. She is sixteen and old enough to be making her own choices. Has she ever been diagnosed, in therapy, is there mental illness or substance abuse on either side of her family genetic tree? Is she a threat to hurt you? That is NEVER EVER acceptable no matter what her background is. Ever. That makes her dangerous. There is no reason for her to lash out at you or her house or be abusive. Unless you sold her into prostitution, which I doubt, this behavior is either due to inherited mental illness or probably drug abuse and you do not and should not have to tolerate it or coddle her while she acts self-destructive and destroys her own life and tries to take you with her. At 18, I'd be showing her a list of "MUST" behavior and make it clear she will have to find her own place to live and support herself unless she stops her bullying and gets a job and is respectful to you. Enough of her acting out, past or no past.</p><p></p><p>You did the best you knew how, like we all did. So why is it ok that she is abusing you? You can love her all you like...we all love our kids...but tolerating t hat sort of behavior is not good for her or for you. This may or may not just be a phase. If you don't want her to end up in prison, it would be a good idea in my opinion to get her into a psychiatric rehab center and in 24/7 treatment.</p><p></p><p>She is not the only teen with herpes and she will be ok. There are treatments for it and she won't die. She maybe learned from it. How did s he get it? She had unprotected sex and she knew the possible consequences. It is her own fault. The problem is our difficult children tend not to learn from their mistakes and it's never their faults. It is everyone else's faults. Their father left when they were ten, so that gives them the right to steal, lie, hit us, deface our property, cuss us out and you'd BETTER give them money when their hand is out or else you are a very horrible parent.</p><p></p><p>Why not hop over to Parent Emeritus (older kids) or Substance Abuse and read about detachment and taking our lives back. Read our stories. Read what we do about our disrespectful kids. I wish I had gotten a head start!!!</p><p></p><p>Hugs and so sorry you have to walk this path.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 626580, member: 1550"] I am really sorry for your hurting mommy heart, but I do want to straighten out your thinking. This is not your fault, regardless of her childhood. Many kids have worst childhoods than her and do not act like she does. She is sixteen and old enough to be making her own choices. Has she ever been diagnosed, in therapy, is there mental illness or substance abuse on either side of her family genetic tree? Is she a threat to hurt you? That is NEVER EVER acceptable no matter what her background is. Ever. That makes her dangerous. There is no reason for her to lash out at you or her house or be abusive. Unless you sold her into prostitution, which I doubt, this behavior is either due to inherited mental illness or probably drug abuse and you do not and should not have to tolerate it or coddle her while she acts self-destructive and destroys her own life and tries to take you with her. At 18, I'd be showing her a list of "MUST" behavior and make it clear she will have to find her own place to live and support herself unless she stops her bullying and gets a job and is respectful to you. Enough of her acting out, past or no past. You did the best you knew how, like we all did. So why is it ok that she is abusing you? You can love her all you like...we all love our kids...but tolerating t hat sort of behavior is not good for her or for you. This may or may not just be a phase. If you don't want her to end up in prison, it would be a good idea in my opinion to get her into a psychiatric rehab center and in 24/7 treatment. She is not the only teen with herpes and she will be ok. There are treatments for it and she won't die. She maybe learned from it. How did s he get it? She had unprotected sex and she knew the possible consequences. It is her own fault. The problem is our difficult children tend not to learn from their mistakes and it's never their faults. It is everyone else's faults. Their father left when they were ten, so that gives them the right to steal, lie, hit us, deface our property, cuss us out and you'd BETTER give them money when their hand is out or else you are a very horrible parent. Why not hop over to Parent Emeritus (older kids) or Substance Abuse and read about detachment and taking our lives back. Read our stories. Read what we do about our disrespectful kids. I wish I had gotten a head start!!! Hugs and so sorry you have to walk this path. [/QUOTE]
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