My thirteen year old wants her lip pierced

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Jul 29, 2009.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I just stared at her I was so shocked. She's really a good kid--detests drugs and smoking cigaraettes and says she doesn't want to think about sex until she gets married. Yes, I realize this could change, but she is very adamant about that right now. She's a typical teen who likes hanging with her friends, likes sports a lot, and babysits several days a week to make money (she babysits a family of five kids). Her argument for her lip piercing was "I just like the way it looks. It isn't going to make me a bad kid." When I said it could draw the wrong kids to her, she laughed and said, "Mom! People have piercings and that's not considered bad. You know I'm scared of the bad kids. You know I'd never hang around with them." And that's pretty much true.
    Hub is fine with it. I'm not really all that worked up either, but I'm not sure. Is there a good reason why I shouldn't let her do it?
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    These things tend to freak me out because its lips, nose and eyebrows and navels. Oh and tongues...ick. I dont mind the numerous ears. However, saying that, I would have to say that I would tell her that if she saved up the money, waited a month or two to see if she still wanted to do it, well..then maybe say ok. She can always take it out and it will grow over.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I agree with Janet...I think she should pay for it herself and give herself more time to think about it.

    It is interesting easy child must have 30 holes in her head, lol. All up and down her ears, her eyebrow, her lip, tongue, you get the picture...and she Truly is a good kid with a very loving heart.
    I was not too fond of the idea at first either...but it didn't bring the "bad kids" toward her. She knows who she is...though she was older, like I think around 15 yrs old when all this heavy piercing started.

  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    How much does she like the dentist? They chip teeth, so she'll be seeing a lot of them. I know she probably is dead set on it, but maybe if you let her look up he benefits and risks online? I mean, a hole will grow back in her lip, but it will take a while before those chipped teeth eventually fall out (or are pulled out because they bad) and she needs a plate. I wouldn't make it about drugs and bad behavior, I'd make it about her making an informed decision about her health.

    I don't know how they do it, but kids end up doing these things no matter how much you object. I got my ears pierced with a darning needle and knotted thread. L got 3 tattoos before she was 16. Good luck!
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Generally speaking if I had a good kid with a good head on her shoulders, I probably wouldn't get too worked up either. But...I do think 13 is a bit young and I think she should think about it more before doing it. They have fake lip rings (various fake piercings actually) that she could try out to see what she thinks. I'd hate for anyone to think Oh yeah! I want a piercing! and then get it and be miserable.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    OI! "Nipple shields"? Ack! Don't let her see that page! LOL!
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    WHOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO sorry!!!! I didn't even look that far. Let me see if I can find a :916blusher:
  8. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Ok well most sites I find have the same stuff. Really all I was trying to do though was show that there are fake lip rings out there that she can try. Mods....if you think the link is too much delete although the nipple part doesn't come up with the link. You have to click on another spot to get there.
  9. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Ah, she's a little young, but I wouldn't worry too much. At my best (which was in college, but piercings weren't as common when I was in school), I had 8 separate piercings in. I was an uber-good easy child kid without a hint of trouble....and I also went to heavy metal concerts and hung out with some REALLY out there kids. But I always made the "right" choices for MY life.

    Asking for the piercing when she's otherwise a good child, and shows no other sign of "rebellion" is actually pretty encouraging! :) Means she really does like the look, and isn't using it to "fight the system, maaaaaaaan.". Hehe.

    Side note: My best friend has had a lip ring in for....err....about a decade. She's never had any problems with it, her teeth, or her gums. Honestly, I don't even notice it anymore. It's amazing what being familiar with something does!
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    'Stang... LOL!
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I guess I'm old fashioned. When it comes to something like this (outside the boundaries of pierced ears), 16 is/was the youngest I would consider allowing to make that kind of decision.

  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Agree - make her wait, make her pay for it. We did this with Onyxx. Amazingly, when the kid finally found out we would let her - after she earned the money - she had it earned in less than 2 days. Cleaning. Chores. Whatever we would pay her to do (including dog doo in the yard).

    But then, we'd made her wait over a year before telling her ok... LOL!
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the feedback. My daughter babysits four days a week and is making about $100 week, most which we make her put in the bank. She would have to pay for it. There is a complication which has me less happy.

    All four girls (a group of them have decided that they can't live without the piercing) want their BELLY BUTTONS pierced instead. This is new. N. was at a sleepover with three of her friends last night and they all decided. I was shocked that the other three mothers gave in. I'm more concerned about the belly button. N. said "Can I hold off on the lip and just do my bellybutton?"

    The conversation went like this:

    Me: Nobody sees your bellybutton. Why pierce it?

    N: Because I want to, that's all.

    Me: Why, if nobody will see it. I like the lip idea better.

    N. Mom! (laughs good-naturedly, but also gives me the 'don't be a dork' rolled eyes)

    Me: Well, they'll see it when you wear your bathing suit. That could give people the wrong idea. Especially boys.

    N. MOM!!! You KNOW I'm not going stuff with boys. Besides, nobody's going to think that.

    Me: (rolling eyes myself) Let me think about it. I want to talk to R's mom (her friend's mother who is thinking of giving in. She's a good mom too with a good daughter, and I want to hear her take on things). I'm not going to make a decision today.

    N: Call R's mom! Go on! (holding her phone at me)

    Me: Tomorrow. Go clean the cat litter.

    She gives me those puppy dog eyes, then scoots upstairs and my head is whirling. I talk to hub. Hub says "HER BELLYBUTTON?"

    I swear on a stack of Bibles that this is usually a very good kid, not particularly rebellious, mouthy only a normal amount of times, NOTHING like my oldest daughter who ended up dressing goth and taking drugs.

    Thoughts? If you wouldn't allow this, why not?
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm old fashioned too. I always told my difficult child that until she was 18 I wouldn't sign for any piercings other than ears. In Ohio you need parental consent before the age of 18. I know it probably shouldn't bother me but I just hated to see my beautiful girl with metal coming out of her face. I'm sure I'll take a lot of heat over that but at 13 I don't think they should be making that decision.

  15. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm more inclined with the belly button ring. They can be hidden for job interviews. I actually think they are cute. If I could find my belly button among all the flab, I would do it. : )

    I think this is one of those things that is a basket C for me but may be a basket A for others.
    It's not like piercings aren't commonplace as are tatoo's. I would probably counsel them to do whatever the "in" thing is, somewhere that can be easily covered.
    Paying for her own piercing seems like a wise thing to do.
  16. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    She's 13. Just say no.

    Yes, I'm OLD and I'm OUT OF IT but in most states she would need an adult's permission and I wouldn't give it.

    There will probably come a day that she really won't want a scar on her lip.

    I have to admit, though, that I would consider a belly-button ring for myself, if only I wasn't afraid that it would get lost in the rolls of fat. LOL
  17. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    There is a huge misconception amongst the older crowd (and by that I mean older than 25) about piercings and tatoos. When I was growing up only the kids that got in trouble had them. Now, it's almost popular and has nothing to do with being a good kid or a bad kid.

    My daughter is a difficult child, however she is not at all into drugs, sex, stealing, violence, etc. She has her nose pierced. She had two piercings in her lip, but she had to take them out because they got infected. She wants to do her tongue. She also wants the one that goes through the skin at the top of the nose, by the eyes. I'm saying no to that one for now. That's just a bit over the top looking for me. Besides, how would she wear her glasses? (Not that she wears them like she's supposed to anyway....)

    I'm just glad she hasn't said anything about wanting to gauge her ears. I told her not to even ask about tatoos at her age.

    She does have vampire fangs, though.
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911

    My niece is a straight A student, just turned 16, has her belly button pierced and if you buy into that "well nobody will ever see it" line - THINK again - they do not get it pierced and buy body jewelry so that NOBODY will NEVER SEE IT. hahah. Maybe YOU will never see it - but EVERYBODY her age will. My sister was fine with it. I think it's because our parents were uber strict.

    Since she is such a smart girl - and is only 13 - what is wrong with asking her to do a little research about it before she commits to it? Checking with a few places, asking about risks, infections, follow up care, what if's, scaring, tearing, costs, etc?

    I think that anything worth having at 13 is worth waiting until 14 - and making an informed decision before jabbing a large guage needle twice into your skin needs to have some thought before poking.

    My niece said it was pretty painful. My son had his tongue done and said that he would NOT do it again - he has had his tooth repaired twice in less than a year. A friend of his has her lip pierced and opted for a white ball the size of a straight pin head. Every single time I see it I think the child has a huge zit in the middle of her mouth below her lip and above her chin. I even offered to BUY her something pretty like a cubic zirconia or blue stone - anything and she said nope - I like this. Yuk -
  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'd get one in my bellybutton if I weren't nearly 50 years old and round around there. I do wear two piece swimsuits even in public, but I don't want to draw anyone's eyes there!
  20. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    I'd definitely say no. Thirteen is awfully young to be drawn into a trend that has lasting effects. It's not like wearing fashionable clothing that can be discarded, or even hair color that can be dyed over. I'm around girls that age a lot, and I really hate to see them getting sooooo focused on their physical appearance.

    She sounds like a great kid. I would encourage her to continue developing her self-respect from her good character and good values (Way To Go, mom!) and not from getting piercings because her friends think it's cool.

    I know, I'm conservative on this. Probably a good thing I have boys! LOL!