My thirteen year old wants her lip pierced

[BusynMember]

Thanks for the thoughts. LOL, I still am not sure. I think I'm going to do an internet search with her about infections. She is NOT a brave kid. Things freak her out easily.
I would have to sign for her, but I'm not sure it's a big deal. I'm going to have to think on it some more, but I definitely like the idea of making her read about side effects.
N. has pierced ears. She got them pierced last year because until last year s he didn't want to experience the pain of the piercing..lol. We'll see. Thanks a lot as always

 

[goldenguru]

I would let her do it. I like the belly button ring much better than the piercing the face idea. Rings come out, heal and are easily forgotten.

Now, if she were asking for a tattoo, I'd have to get out the fun meter and say NO WAY.

I have to agree Heather. The youth culture today sees this differently. Very clean cut, college bound, substance free kids are pierced. I don't think it's a sign of rebellion.

 

[BusynMember]

I know N. dosn't see it as a sign of rebellion. She sees it as something cool she and her three close friends will be doing together. As of now, she isn't a rebellious kid. In fact, she is afraid of the kind of kids my oldest daughter used to be...lol. I think her older sister, the calls to the police, the whole drug drama influenced her to never want a part of that. She wants to be popular, of course, but in a mainstream sort of way. At least for now (crossing fingers). She even thinks cigarette smoking is lame.

 

[AnnieO]

LOL - smoking IS lame - I am a smoker.

FWIW, I got my belly button pierced on a dare when I was 28. (Can we say, my frontal lobe took longer than most?!) At any rate, it healed at an angle. So it looks silly unless I wear a really BIG, SPARKLY thing in it. Oh, and my belly button is small, so BIG is uncomfortable.

But I wear it anyway. I spent the money!!!

I like the hideability factor. And they can and will heal over, unlike tattoos (of which I have three... Sigh).

However I think she should wait a bit at least.

 

[BusynMember]

Step, LOLOL . I'm going to have my daughter read that!!!!! She has an "outtie"...I wonder if they would make her piercing look weird. She's not going to do this blindly...lolol. If she agrees, it will be with full knowledge of the consequences.

When my 31 year old boys were N's age, my biological son M. asked if he could pierce his ear. He was being a smarta.. I think. I said "Sure." He looked shocked and said, "B-b-but nobody's mom allows that" (this was back when it was less common.) I shrugged. "Do it." He did. Two weeks later he took it out and I never saw it again. EVER. Sometimes I think it's better to say "yes" because then they have nothing to rebel against . (PS--I knew he'd hate it).

 

[Fran]

Star, when I say no one see's it, I meant employers, ministers, grandmother's.
What would be the point if your cute little flat belly wasn't somewhat exposed. Those of us who thought going bra less in the 60's was attractive weren't really looking in the mirror much. Our parents were horrified. My bff's mother told her having your ears pierced(one) made you into a gypsy. I'm sure that had a negative connotation to her but we thought "cool".

It's every generation's job to complain about the younger generation. Has been since the beginning of time. The younger one's will always do things differently. Dress, think, work, talk differently and we worry and complain about them.

In the end, if my son could manage on his own, I would let him have piercing's, body art and anything else that was legal and not unhealthy. (even if I don't find it attractive) It just goes back to what your basket's are.

MWM, if she seems to be vacillating or unsure this is what she really wants, I think having her wait until she is educated and knowledgeable will help her make her own choice.

 

[DaisyFace]

MWM--

First of all, I also think that 13 is too young for that sort of piercing (ears OK...anything else NOT OK)...

As far as face vs bellybutton? I think bellybutton is preferable because it will not show publicly (in general)....whereas even after you change your mind about a lip ring or eyebrow piercing, you will always have a little scar.

Make her wait a few years....it's not about the money....it's about having the maturity to make a decision that will affect her looks for the rest of her life.

--DaisyF

 

[trinityroyal]

MWM,

I just want to weigh in with one of the physical risks that I haven't seen mentioned yet.
If I remember correctly, your easy child is biracial. A LOT of people of African descent have a tendency to develop keloid scars.

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keloid[/ame]

If she gets a lip piercing, it might leave a nasty scar. On her FACE!

If your easy child has ever shown a tendency to develop scars from scrapes, cuts, mosquito bites or other minor abrasions, then she will likely develop keloids.

Trinity

 

[DazedandConfused]

I fought EPIC battles with Daughter when she was that age regarding belly button piercings and the wearing of thong underwear. She was good friends with sisters whose mother had a piercing herself, so she allowed her daughters (13 & 15) to get them.

So here's my perspective for what it is worth:

Teenage girls do not get belly button piercings to cover them up. Though, they are easier to conceal than a piercing done on the face. My primary objection to them is that it is just one more way to sexualize young teenage girls. There is so much of that already that I certainly wasn't going to legally consent to it. They also get infected easily.

I had the same objection with the wearing of the thong underwear since one of the things girls like to do is pull it up higher than their waist to show it off. Daughter liked to say it was "more comfortable". Yeah, right. Girls at that age are beginning to experience the emerging power of their sexuality. They may not have an understanding of it, but they know it gets attention. This age group is where it is most obvious.

So, I think its fairly clear where I stand on this issue: No. Too young.

With daughter, I told her she could wear thongs at 16, and if she wanted piercings, other than her ears, she would have to wait until she was 18 and didn't need my consent. I also made it clear that if anyone pierced her without my consent before then, I would file legal action against them. For me, it was a battle worth fighting and boy it was some very hard fighting.

Daughter turns 18 in less than a month. She does talk about getting a tattoo. I'm not against tattoos, per se, but I just want her to realize that what she gets at 18 may not be what she wants at 30. She can also get her belly button pierced. She's doesn't mention it anymore. I did allow her to get four piercings in each ear when she was 13. Guess what? She let them ALL heal up because they bothered her when she slept!.

One more thing and I will end my ramble. I do not condemn any parent that allows their child to have piercings other than in the ears. For some, it simply isn't an issue. For others, they don't consider it a battle worth fighting. I understand my opinion is just that: my opinion.

 

[AnnieO]

One more thing and I will end my ramble. I do not condemn any parent that allows their child to have piercings other than in the ears. For some, it simply isn't an issue. For others, they don't consider it a battle worth fighting. I understand my opinion is just that: my opinion.

LOL - wow I like you!

With Onyxx... Since there are so many other things going on, so many bigger battles... With batcave mostly... It's just not as big. Though I don't like it, piercings can heal... Tattoos are forever. She'll have to wait if she wants those.

Now she too wants her belly button pierced. She's not getting that for a while!

 

[Momslittleangels]

I haven't read all of the responses, but when my "easy child" was 13, she wanted to pierce her lip - - - I said "no way", because of all of the piercings, I hated that one the most. Well, guess what. She did it to herself. Yep, sat in the bathroom and did it, and I didn't even know. She had been sporting this fake lip ring for awhile, so it never dawned on me that she did it for real. Then the belly button conversation came around and I said no and guess what, she did it to herself again. Geesh - that had to hurt like crazy. By then, I threw it all in basket C. When she asked about her tongue piercing at around 16, I figured I had better do it the professional way, or she probably would have done it herself, and that one can be very dangerous ( nerves in the tongue can get cut and create problems).

Both of my kids have taken out all of their piercings, except difficult child, who left her tongue piercing. There is some scarring, but that's the price you pay, when you decide later in life that you don't want them anymore.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm going to remind N. that when she scars, it shows more because she is darker. Good point, whoever brought it up. Yes, she is bi-racial.

My daughter would be unlikely to pierce her own whatever, but my oldest daughter did. It wasn't even because I said "no." She didn't ask me. SHe just pierced her own (pick your body part) or let her friends pierce her body parts. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrross!!!!!

 

[hearts and roses]

difficult child got her belly button pierced when she turned 15. That was the rule. She wanted it earlier, but I just said, "Nope. When you're 15, if you still want that, you can get it." End of story. Same with easy child wanting her nose pierced - "Nope, when you're 15". They still wanted them, so they got them and paid for them. easy child got her belly button pierced when she went away to college - recently took it out and is upset because there is a hole there that is slow to closing. I don't mind the belly button and even the nose (if it's a stud only - no rings!) and told them that if they wanted any other piercings, such as lip, brow or more, they had to wait until they were out of my house. So far so good.

Oops, I forgot, difficult child got her nipples pierced last year, but fortunately, I don't have to look at that from across the dinner table!

Personally, I think 13 is too young for that...call me old.

 

[shawty101]

okay i am 12 and i live with my grandma and she is 45 or sumtin and she says that i cant have my lip pirced but she said i can do my nose but i dnt want my nose all i want is my lip and belly cuz i have my ears pirced i have since i was 4 weeks old but i really want my lip pierced i told her i would do anything and now we aint talking cause i am mad at her what do i do cuz i really really want it bad i kno i may regret it but i want it. D'=

 

[thumpergirl]

I'd say no. You're the parent, and you aren't obligated to sign off on it. I would have little problem signing off on the belly button piercing, although a 13 year old probably won't do well on the aftercare, and the belly button piercing will be out before long anyway. Why isn't it okay for parents to say no anymore?