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My troubled 26 year old.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 626796" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Rosie, welcome. I'm sorry you're experiencing this with your daughter. It's tough when our kids are acting in ways we don't understand and don't deserve. She may have an undiagnosed disorder, she may be on drugs, she may just be angry and taking it out on you. Whatever the reason, it is not okay to treat you in a disrespectful manner. Remember that whatever you allow is what will continue. Don't allow anyone to treat you badly.</p><p></p><p>Something I've noticed often is that when we enable our kids, we send an underlying message that we believe they are not capable of handling life on their own. I don't know if you enabled your daughter but if you did, some of that anger and resentment she harbors may be a result of that. My daughter went through that and as I stopped enabling her and set boundaries around bad behavior that anger dissipated. I've read similar stories here. </p><p></p><p>Once our kids reach adulthood, we are powerless over their choices and we can't "fix" them. They get to make their own choices, however bad we may believe them to be. What has become helpful to me and to many here is to start the process of detaching and putting the focus onto you. Do the things that make YOU happy. Do kind and nurturing things for YOU. When our kids go off the rails, we often lose sight of our own lives and that ends up being to our detriment and really to everyone's detriment. Take a step back from your daughters and take some steps towards your own life and what makes you happy.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting it helps. I'm glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 626796, member: 13542"] Rosie, welcome. I'm sorry you're experiencing this with your daughter. It's tough when our kids are acting in ways we don't understand and don't deserve. She may have an undiagnosed disorder, she may be on drugs, she may just be angry and taking it out on you. Whatever the reason, it is not okay to treat you in a disrespectful manner. Remember that whatever you allow is what will continue. Don't allow anyone to treat you badly. Something I've noticed often is that when we enable our kids, we send an underlying message that we believe they are not capable of handling life on their own. I don't know if you enabled your daughter but if you did, some of that anger and resentment she harbors may be a result of that. My daughter went through that and as I stopped enabling her and set boundaries around bad behavior that anger dissipated. I've read similar stories here. Once our kids reach adulthood, we are powerless over their choices and we can't "fix" them. They get to make their own choices, however bad we may believe them to be. What has become helpful to me and to many here is to start the process of detaching and putting the focus onto you. Do the things that make YOU happy. Do kind and nurturing things for YOU. When our kids go off the rails, we often lose sight of our own lives and that ends up being to our detriment and really to everyone's detriment. Take a step back from your daughters and take some steps towards your own life and what makes you happy. Keep posting it helps. I'm glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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My troubled 26 year old.
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