My turn for difficult child-related lingerie issues!

[GoingNorth]

Bare foot...yikes..it is currently 9 degrees F up here, and 25 below 0F is not unheard of in our winters.

I don't think I'll fly down under to buy Uggs at a discount. Flying makes me crazy and I smoke, so there is that also.

 

[gcvmom]

Okay -- thanks everyone for the replies :smile: Uggs and thongs and pyjamas aside...

difficult child 1 DOES have some sensory/texture issues. He still sleeps with a very soft favorite stuffed animal, he's very particular about the type of underwear he'll use (knit boxer briefs) and he prefers to change into either pajamas or his one favorite pair well-worn (aka ragged) jeans after school. So it's very possible that this was something of a sensory experiment for him.

Like I said before, I'm NOT freaked out (husband was), just curious and somewhat amused -- maybe slightly annoyed that it was my stuff. I will keep my eyes open to learn more about what he's up to, and since he doesn't know that I know, I plan to keep my mouth shut unless I think it's behavior that is continuing or becoming a concern. Suffice to say, there are some sexual dysfunctions in difficult child 1's family tree, so I wouldn't be surprised if something unusual popped up on the radar. I realize there are many, many ways to express a healthy sexuality -- I just want to be sure that he stays on a healthy path and that his choices are not made as a means of coping with other problems he might be having.

The feedback from everyone has been VERY helpful! THANKS!

 

[Marguerite]

Well said, gcvmom. It could simply be sensory, and if you approach it from that point of view you might also sort out any other issues he is otherwise reluctant to share.

Serious suggestion, though - why not do what difficult child 3's friend's mother did, and get your son some pyjamas (or something) exactly how HE wants them? Although from the sound of it, you're already doing the underwear for him (his, not yours).

I remember difficult child 1 wouldn't wear some of the school uniform shirts I bought him because the seams were too scratchy - they'd been overlocked with a synthetic thread instead of cotton. Also, I had to remove the labels because he said he was too distracted by the scratching of the label on the back of his neck.

And one more thing I remember, could be an issue with him borrowing your underwear - the smell is important for some kids. difficult child 1 would get upset with me when I raided his bedroom looking for washing, and grabbed the tracksuit he was wearing as pyjamas. He complained that I had washed out the smell and it would take him ages of wearing to get them how he wanted them again! Not a BO smell, either - just HIS smell. I have a very sensitive nose so I understand. But his must be even more sensitive.

Another thought - you know how some kids with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) like to feel pressure? Like easy child 2/difficult child 2 and her corsets. We had a weighted vest made for difficult child 3, it did help calm him. A simple pattern - like a photographer's vest, with lots of long, thin pockets (two in the front on each side, four across the back) and in each pocket you put a long, narrow sand bag weighing 200 g. The vest and pockets were double-stitched with french seams, for those wanting to try it. The vest fastened down the front with velcro and was available in a number of colours. He was in mainstream at the time so I requested a colour that would fit in with school uniform. But it could be worn under a shirt.
difficult child 1 experimented with wearing weights too, he said it felt especially good when he was lying down and had the weights on his chest. The thing is, THEY need to control the feeling of pressure. That way they feel safe and they relax more.

Marg

 

[gcvmom]

Oh, we know ALL about tags and seams here, too :smile: All three of my kids have issues with those in one form or another.

My easy child/difficult child daughter has two favorite receiving blankets from her infancy that she sleeps with and gets very upset when I wash them because they don't smell or feel the same.

husband has issues about feeling pressure on his body, and I know there's more to his ADHD than meets the eye because of this.

I did buy a weighted blanket last year for difficult child 2 who has his own sensory quirks. He LOVES it. When we did Occupational Therapist (OT) for him years ago before his various diagnosis's, he did VERY well with his tasks when they put the blanket on him.

That gets me thinking now -- since difficult child 2's medication changes this past year, his handwriting has gone down the tubes. Do you think a weighted vest would help his fine motor skills?

 

[Marguerite]

It would be hard to know. If the medications are giving him a hand tremor, for example, then I doubt a vest would help. But if the medications are making him more anxious, then a weighted vest might help calm him.

It's one of those it and see situations.

That said, they are easy to make (or get made). With ours, we can remove the sandbags as we choose, to vary the weight. And if we have to upgrade to a larger vest, we still use the same sand bags. And here, we are not short of sand! Besides beaches of it, our house is built on a sand hill. Our garden is in sand. Loads of the stuff. When laying pavers, we don't need to bring in sand - we just whack 'em down.

Have the medication changes brought significant improvement? Because if they haven't, I would be arguing to reduce the dose or cut them out entirely. Why take something if the benefits are insufficient to outweigh the problems?

Marg

 

[gcvmom]

Now that I think about it, it's not really the medication changes that have worsened the handwriting, because it started to deteriorate about the time his behavior did.

He was becoming more impulsive, emotional and obsessive late last year on a high dose of stims and Risperdal, then stims and Abilify. Handwriting began to deteriorate actually just around the time his behavior started to change. I saved the samples from his spelling tests to show everyone how dramatic the change was. There seems to be a direct correlation to his ADHD symptoms being in check and improved handwriting.

But since the mood disorder piece came into the puzzle, things are very different.

It's frustrating to know that he was able to write decently before and it's such a huge struggle now. He even has difficulty typing. Not sure what to do about this... any ideas are welcome!