OK, well ToTo started it, and I am gonna coin it. It is officially *I hate mental illness week*. Plus it was a full moon, and it is close to daylight savings, and it is almost Halloween.............so all of that must add up to something, right? So, seriously. Here is my run-down on difficult child (and full moon or not, this is why we are all deemed warrior moms, and our kids, gifts from god. This journey is awful, and yet we have to be their advocates, aka warrior moms ~ and despite it all, these kids mold us into different people, beings, and souls aka gifts from god). So Thur I talked to the counselor at the wilderness program Matt was at, and she said that he was cycling every 45 minutes, and not doing well. At that point I told her that I needed to talk to him. It had been a week or 2 since I had spoken to him, and when he got on the phone he outlined to me the different ways he was planning on ending his life. I knew it was sincere, just by his tone, he was not manipulating me. He was at the bottom, and ready to end it. Yet, the program's counselor knew nothing of his suicidal tendencies. Immediately I called her, and she said "he is safe, no worries" we will figure this out. Whatever. Fri, I waited, and waited for the counselor to call me, so we could figure out what to do. Finally at 5 pm, AFTER I contacted her, we talked. At this point, after Matt had been cycling for 4 days every 40 minutes, she finally decided that he need medical help. Uh, do you think? Had you called me the first 24 hours he had been cycling I would have known enough to say he needed medical help. (Unfortunately, and a lesson for all of us warrior moms to remember...........NEVER send a medical/mentally ill patient to a wilderness program where the nearest medical help is 5 hours away.) So she tells me he can be transported to the nearest hospital 5 hours away, or that there is a hospital, affiliated with a possible long term treatment program in Idaho. She gets the doctor from the hospital in ID on the phone, and I talk with him to the best of my ability, and ask my questions. After 5 minutes of this phone conversation she intervenes to say that now I need to decide what to do. A hospital in UT or ID........... and that I have to make the decision NOW. I am not sure I have even been that bloody mad. You have known for 4 days my kid was cycling every hour, and yet you wait until day 4 to tall me, and then give me 120 seconds to decide what to do???? And yet, I had to. In those 120 seconds I chose Idaho where there is the remote possibility that the program associated with the hospital can help him long term. Today was the roller coaster of getting him from UT, to Nev, on a plane, and to ID, and of course there was a person who went with him to drive and negotiate the airlines ~ but I was anxious all day. He got there, and I just talked to him, and he seems to be stabilizing even with all of this stress. He told me his mood cycling was less, and that he was feeling a bit better. Of course it killed me to send him to a hospital sight unseen, but he said it was like all the rest, "brightly lit and sterile", which made me laugh. He would have told me if it was a rat's nest, and for that I am thankful. I will go up there Monday, and assess the possibility of the new program, and make sure he is OK. Thanks for all of your prayers.