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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 724515" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Thanks for all the support and comments.</p><p></p><p>I must admit I am very nervous about visiting him on 12/16. He said it is VERY hard and will explain more when we see him. Do I even want to hear it?? I don't really care how hard it is.</p><p></p><p>I liken this to him being in training, <em>learning </em>how to live his life with purpose and meaning. I think when it comes down to it, that is what we are really all searching for. The meaning of life. Why are we here. I really think we are put on this earth to help others. It's not about us at all.</p><p></p><p>I really think that is the secret to all of it. If he can learn this in his 20's he will be way ahead of the game.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could say that he "really wants" to be there. I think he would come home in a NY minute...but he has no choice but to be there. He knows he cannot be with us until he graduates from the program. If I knew he wanted to be there that would fill me with joy and maybe that day will come. I just don't know.</p><p></p><p>While he has been gone (since April of 2016) I have been working hard on myself. I have been trying to cope with him being gone and our lives not being normal. It's living in "the upside down" or an altered reality (for those of you that are 'Stranger Things' fans). It really is an altered reality for us. I also love to help people sort out their problems and be a sounding board for them. Mainly close friends. My husband calls me "Dear Rhonda" (instead of Dear Abby). I don't mind because I like that I can offer whatever it is I have to give if it helps. I have a lot of friends that confide in me. I am much calmer now knowing he is "safe".</p><p></p><p>I find a lot of comfort coming here and offering what little advice I have to others, hoping to pay it forward and somehow strike a chord with someone during this madness we are going through. Hoping to help make their journey a bit less frightening or lonely, because I know how frightening and lonely it has been for me. Taking one day at a time is hard when you don't know what your child's future holds, yet knowing that every moment you spend in misery you cannot get back and it doesn't change the outcome.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/dont_know.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":dont_know:" title="dontknow :dont_know:" data-shortname=":dont_know:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 724515, member: 15032"] Thanks for all the support and comments. I must admit I am very nervous about visiting him on 12/16. He said it is VERY hard and will explain more when we see him. Do I even want to hear it?? I don't really care how hard it is. I liken this to him being in training, [I]learning [/I]how to live his life with purpose and meaning. I think when it comes down to it, that is what we are really all searching for. The meaning of life. Why are we here. I really think we are put on this earth to help others. It's not about us at all. I really think that is the secret to all of it. If he can learn this in his 20's he will be way ahead of the game. I wish I could say that he "really wants" to be there. I think he would come home in a NY minute...but he has no choice but to be there. He knows he cannot be with us until he graduates from the program. If I knew he wanted to be there that would fill me with joy and maybe that day will come. I just don't know. While he has been gone (since April of 2016) I have been working hard on myself. I have been trying to cope with him being gone and our lives not being normal. It's living in "the upside down" or an altered reality (for those of you that are 'Stranger Things' fans). It really is an altered reality for us. I also love to help people sort out their problems and be a sounding board for them. Mainly close friends. My husband calls me "Dear Rhonda" (instead of Dear Abby). I don't mind because I like that I can offer whatever it is I have to give if it helps. I have a lot of friends that confide in me. I am much calmer now knowing he is "safe". I find a lot of comfort coming here and offering what little advice I have to others, hoping to pay it forward and somehow strike a chord with someone during this madness we are going through. Hoping to help make their journey a bit less frightening or lonely, because I know how frightening and lonely it has been for me. Taking one day at a time is hard when you don't know what your child's future holds, yet knowing that every moment you spend in misery you cannot get back and it doesn't change the outcome. :dont_know: [/QUOTE]
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