My walking, talking soap opera - Leopard can't change its spots vol. 2

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SuZir, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I'm always utterly amazed on my difficult child's ability to create drama. There is two different kind of drama he creates. One that causes me to wake up 3 a.m. and not to go back to sleep and leaves knot in the pit of my stomach. And then there is the kind that causes me to make some popcorn and take a cozy seat on my couch. His current drama is the latter kind.

    Between their pre and regular season difficult child got three days off and was able to find cheap flights from an airport in driving distance to his former home town airport. And he was able to arrange both a psychiatrist and therapist appointment for that time. So he came home. Spent one night and less than 24 hours in his old town and two days at home. During that time in his old town he had a dinner with his former coach and his family, went fishing w3ith him and had a sauna in his cabin, met his board game club friends, were supposed to sleep in his former team mate's couch, had those doctor appointments and had lunch with few of his former team mates. Apparently he also managed to squeeze in meeting his ex-girlfriend and 'having a one more go for old times sake' with her.

    From the time he got home after his day in old town, he was harassed by phone by his ex-girlfriend's sister and ex-gs's new boyfriend's sister. For some reason they seem to think, that difficult child is the main culprit in ex-girlfriend cheating his new boyfriend with him. They flooded his Fb account with it and also Twitter is full of it. difficult child has spent last few days constantly cleaning his Fb account and blocking people in Twitter. Twitter of course is totally unmanageable and I'm sure difficult child is second guessing a wisdom of having your 900 closest pals as Fb friends by now.

    Lucky for difficult child girls have yet only posted on their first language so there are big language barriers to difficult child's current environment and Twitter is not at all popular in his current country. Only he and his American flat mate are even having Twitter accounts on the team. Even team doesn't have Twitter account.

    Odd thing is; ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend have stayed totally mum. It's their sisters who seem to be upset. I also find it slightly amusing that after ex-girlfriend having a fling with new boyfriend (whom difficult child considered his friend at the time) all spring and us moving her straight to new boyfriend's flat less than a week from difficult child and ex-girlfriend break up, it is difficult child who is a cheater and bad guy in this.

    Matter itself is minor, it is about kiddies playing home and learning to be in relationships, but I'm always as amazed on my whelp's ability to find time to create drama even middle of the busiest schedule.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2015
  2. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    They really do have a good time though, don't they? Heck, mine met a girl from Sweden on the beach. He went back to Sweden with her for 6 months without a penny in his pocket!
    The only one cheating was the ex-girlfriend, your difficult child didn't cheat!
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree that it wasnt difficult child that cheated, it was the girl. I have yet to figure out why people get so mad at the person who the cheater slept with instead of the one who cheated. She had full ability to say no.

    This is the same lesson I keep trying to pound into difficult child and his girlfriend. They both tend to be extremely jealous.
  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Yeah, difficult child didn't cheat anyone (at least to my knowledge.) And I also don't get why _the sisters_ of the persons involved seem to take the greatest offence anyway.

    I do however understand why difficult child tries to clean those messages from his accounts. They are embarrassing. And he did break some kind of secret rules of jock brotherhood (I think not sleeping with each other women is the first rule of that...) At least this new boyfriend is not his former team mate or anything like that. That would had been huge blow to difficult child's reputation. After all he has broken those jock trust and honour codes before.

    Of course one could claim hypocrisy in that too. Ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend were having a fling behind difficult child's back first. But apparently difficult child is still a bad guy in whole mess. Of course difficult child is an outsider. Both ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend are part of long standing jock/cool kid crowd in that city and if I have understood correctly ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend have had a long standing on/off relationship. So difficult child just ended to be part of one much longer off-period, I guess. As I said, real soap opera, and luckily not too serious. Kids just being kids.

    It also seems difficult child learned a lesson. He has cleaned his Fb account (with those 900 and some closest friends) considerably. It's not squeaky clean yet, but everything even a bit hazardous from career point of view has disappeared. And easy child had gotten a friend request from someone with name closely resembling few difficult child's nicknames and with short friend list that includes most of difficult child's real, close friends/peers. Boy seems to be learning...

    Upallnight: I at times almost envy my difficult child and his certain boldness. It may well be only because he doesn't think things through, but he certainly isn't shy of just going and trying something new. He is certainly collecting life experiences that most people never have. I have always been quite security seeking and it amazes me, how my son with anxiety issues can be so adventurous and independent. And he really is compared to his peers. His agent praised him after difficult child chose his current team, that difficult child is a rare exception and often he has difficulties to coax his young customers in difficult child's situation to even move to different side of the country for optimal development path and he has never managed to coax anyone even close to as young as difficult child to try difficult child's current league even though it would be optimal level in certain time of their career. Still most go for safe and familiar. I have to say that seems to be something difficult child doesn't even seem to consider when making his decisions.

    My easy child is almost as old as difficult child was, when he left home. And if easy child would be put to that situation, being forced to consider moving alone to different part of the country there he knows almost no one and to very adverse situation (which of course was difficult child's own doing and easy child would never make a mess like that, so he doesn't have to deal that kind of adversity), I think easy child wouldn't even give it a try but would give up. It was such an uphill battle that I don't think easy child would ever try to face it. So you kind of have to admire difficult child's tenacity; even though he wouldn't need it so much, if he wouldn't make his life so hard in the first place by stupid choices.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2015
  5. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I really don't understand the appeal of posting dirty laundry on the social medias. My difficult child and girlie had a fight last year and she posted nasty message with nasty language on FB. When my daughter told her his grandmother and family didn't care to see this she posted 'go f*** yourself'.

    All of his family blocked her. This latest post was on his page so she has his password. He must have given it to her, she's not smart enough to hack in lol!

    I'm glad you are handling this well, it can be stressful. What these kiddies (girlie will be 40yo in Feb) don't appear to 'get' is anything posted on social media is permanent and out there for the world to see.

    I'm sure none of the people posting would ever say any of it to your son's face!!!