mygfg

[tiredmom3]

my 13 yr.old difficult child just got kick out of class,his resourse class.From what my difficult child said ,the bell was about to ring and he asked the resourse teacher if he can get some water.She's new but already kick him out of class several times before for disruption.Well he got a referral for ''talkin to much.''He was sent to an outside class,a call home was given and they told my husband it was for asking all the time for water.He also has a dentention for next week.my husband then called me and told me what happened.I called the school and was told the same thing.I then told the teacher(ouside class)that difficult child resourse teacher should have been aware of his IEP which explains "due to medication that causes excessive thirst/urination,difficult child needs to frequent the bathroom or be allowed to get water.My difficult child usually carries a water bottle but forgot it.Now after I brought this to their attention they suddenly e-mailed me saying it he never asked for water,difficult child has a witness.He doesn't want to serve the detention,he doesn't feel he did anything wrong.They also put on the referral talking to much all the time.

39yr old mom of 3
40DH most likley has adhd
16 girl difficult child ADHD but the last 4 yrs she has been a easy child---no medications anymore
13yr old difficult child boy BIpolar,ADHD lamictal-200mg, vyvanse-50mg,risperdal-5mg
5 yr.old boy my easy child has attitude because 13 big brother keeps teasing him

 

[Martie]

Hi,

You need to pick your battles I think. It is not the end of the earth if difficult child serves a detention. What I am concerned about is lack of following his BIP. I would ask for a meeting (in writing by CERTIFIED MAIL, of course) and get relevant staff on board with what is supposed to be happening. Given the BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, talking too much is a distinct possibility and there needs to be POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL SUPPORTS NOT KNEE-JERK DISCIPLINE. That is what the law requires and in my opinion, you should insist on a plan to deal with each of difficult child's potential problem behaviors. Explain to him that life is not fair, but you are trying to make it better for him and his needs. I WOULD NOT try to get this detention revered because that will detract from the real issue.

I don't usually give parenting advice but I found as my ex-difficult child was the age of yours, reminding him of (and empathizing with) that not everything that happens in life is "fair" is a developmental growth process that is important to developing coping skills.

Martie