Mystery puddles

[juliabohemian]

I'm really getting tired of stepping in mystery puddles and finding sticky substances with my hand when I try to touch something in my kitchen/bathroom/living room.

And nobody knows why there's a trail of powdered sugar on the floor or where it came from...

And this concept that I can be bullied into compliance, even though I've said no -you cannot watch tv right now- about 100 times. Why an 8 year old thinks they can threaten me into doing what they want, I'll never know.

If this was a spaceship, I'd have ejected her by now...

 

[Andy]

Stay strong!!!! Don't let her see any emotional buttons being pushed. Calmly and firmly just keep repeating yourself to her.

You: "No you may not watch t.v."
difficult child: "Then I will dump this bucket of toys over"
You: "You may not watch t.v."
difficult child: "You always let me"
You: "You may not watch t.v."
difficult child: "You better let me or I will dump kool aid all over your pretty collection of knic knacs"
You: "You may not watch t.v."

Never let her change the subject. She is trying to get your focus off what she is suppose to do (or not do) and on to something much worse so that you will allow her the first thing. Of course you would rather have her watching t.v. than pouring kool aide over something, but you know that is not the issue, don't let her make it the issue.

Tell her that for every time you have to repeat yourself, she will loose that many minutes of something (maybe t.v. the next day?) or that many objects that belong to her (dolls, ect.) for you to keep for one day.

I don't know!!! Good luck!

Count how many times you actually do repeat yourself. Keep track for a week and see if she does start giving up?

You may also try, "Since you can not stop watching t.v. when I tell you to, then no t.v. at all tomorrow. I can not allow you to do something that causes you to disobey me."

 

[KTMom91]

When Miss KT was about that age, it was always the cat's fault. The cat got into my makeup. The cat sprinkled powder on the floor. The cat spilled tea and didn't wipe it up.

I wish I had an answer for you about your "lack of compliance", because then I would understand it, too. been there done that. Stay strong...even though it's so hard some days.

 

[witzend]

I tried counting things like that with M when he was about 14 - 15 years old. His only chore was to put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher and wipe off the table and counters. There were 3 of us, and I don't think he ever actually completed the job. It would take him 1/2 an hour to an hour. One night I just sat there and watched him quietly. I counted each time he doodled around doing something other than putting a plate in the wife or wiping a counter. I counted 57 times he got off task - and he didn't finish the job.

I wish I had some advice. I just know it totally inhales to have to repeat yourself, and that it may not help to know how many times you actually do it in a week. I wanted to just give up at that point!

 

[mstang67chic]

When Miss KT was about that age, it was always the cat's fault. The cat got into my makeup. The cat sprinkled powder on the floor. The cat spilled tea and didn't wipe it up.

I wish I had an answer for you about your "lack of compliance", because then I would understand it, too. been there done that. Stay strong...even though it's so hard some days.

Your cat and my dog must be related. Evidently, my dog is able to open the refrigerator door, pull out a pack of break and bake cookie dough, open it and eat half before tossing it in the trash can.

Other than agreeing with repeating "you can't watch tv", I have no advice. Nothing I really tried worked either depending on difficult child's mood and stubborness that particular day. And he too never knows how things happen around our house.

 

[Andy]

When easy child was about 4 yrs old her Big Twin doll (large rag doll) did something wrong. Big Twin got a time out in a closet on the top shelf. "Big Twin is in time out. I don't want you playing with anyone or anything that does naughty things so you can not play with Big Twin until she decides to be good."

This worked just as I planned - Big Twin was never blamed again. However, I don't think it would work for older kids - they will just learn to place the blame on someone else.

 

[TerryJ2]

ROFL about dogs and cats.
My dogs have allegedly stolen stamps, money, gum, pre-wrapped school snacks, and of course, homework. When they got into controlling the TV and AC, and taking family members undergarments and toys, I had to send them out to the yard.
You can just never trust a smart dog.

 

[Christy]

My son never blames the dog or cat but it doesn't stop him from breaking the rules. He has such a sense of entitlement that he just waits for me to leave the room and then proceeds to do what he wanted to do. Unfortunately, we have not found a solution to this. For this reason, I feel like I am caring for the world's largest toddler--you can't take your eyes off him for a minute!

Have your daughter clean up any sticky messes you encounter. Tell her that she is in charge of cleaning up all sticky residue regardless of how it go there. Clorox wipes are handy for this.

 

[Wiped Out]

We always get the "It wasn't me" from easy child and difficult child-drives me crazy! We get difficult child trying to bully us into compliance too. I don't know why after 11 years he hasn't figured out it doesn't work. Sending understanding hugs your way.

 

[butterflydreams]

Our dog doesn't get blamed, but I always get the "I didn't do it" from both difficult child and easy child. OK, I wasn't home, so who did eat 1/2 the cupcakes or the frosting off the top of the cake? and the list goes on.... Hmmmm. Methinks we have a ghost!!!!

Christy

 

[juliabohemian]

Adrianne -yes. I never thought an 8 year old child would threaten me. She says similar things 'I'll break your camera' (knowing that's my most important possession.) I think sometimes I'm afraid of what she'll do to me, since she has kicked, bitten and punched.

And regarding the Big Twin doll -wasn't there a twilight zone episode about that? *shudders*

mstang67chic & Ktmom91- Yes, the pets have been blamed for many things.

Christy -my daughter went medieval with the wipes recently and wiped everything. I ended up going to clean to discover that she'd wasted hundreds of them and balled them up in the trash. They were barely even used. *facepalm*

witzend -the simplest chores take hours to complete.

Butterflydreams and Wipedout -The big battle right now is with "I don't know" It's her answer to everything. I keep telling her that there are other things she can say like "I'd rather not answer because I think you will be mad" or "I'm embarrassed of the answer."

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Wait.

Are you sure MY kid was not in your house?