Nancy ~ Are you an empty nester yet?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Kathy813, Aug 26, 2009.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, has the big day come yet? Is your difficult child off to school?

  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    For some reason I think it's tomorrow, Kathy.
    I was wondering myself.
    Nancy, oh Nancy, how are things going with the countdown?
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yes, it's tomorrow, the 27th.

    Hopefully Nancy is already redesigning difficult child's room in her head and has made dinner reservations so that she and her husband can have a lovely ROMANTIC dinner celebrate the empty nest. :wine:

  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Nancy---hoping you get difficult child moved in to the dorm and then go home and celebrate the victory!
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Today is the Day! Hope all is going as planned. Will be looking for your post After you have done your Halleula dance. -RM
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you Nancy.

    Hoping the transition is going smoothly. I know how anxiety can add to our difficult child's already difficult to deal with emotions.

  7. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Hope all goes well Nancy! Fill us in when you have time!
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!

    difficult child's girlfriend came with us and the extra hands were very welcome.

    Move in time was 2-4, we got there at 1:20....anxious maybe? Got everything unloaded and unpacked, the shelves put together, the clothes put away, the books picked up at the bookstore, and we got out of town quickly lol.

    Dumped the empty boxes in the house and headed out to the local bar/restaurant and had a drink and chicken wings and just got home. I haven't felt this free in a very long time. I can honestly say I feel like I just got out of prison.

    I wrote difficult child a letter the following letter and put it in a card that I gave her as we left:

    August 27, 2009

    Dear difficult child,
    This is the card I wanted to give you for your birthday. I gave easy child that same card and it says exactly what Dad and I want to say to our daughters.
    You are starting a new chapter in your life. You are going off to college and for the first time in your life you will be solely responsible for yourself. While this is a very exciting time it is also a time when you should reexamine what is important and what direction you want your life to go in. You will never get a chance to be in this position again, so it is very important that you make the most of it.
    Dad and I hope that these next four years will be exciting and rewarding. But it will only be as good as you make it. Make new friends, join in fun activities, examine what you want to do for a living and seek out help when you need it. Be open to new ideas and listen to those who have more experience than you do. Ask yourself if this will get you where you want to go in life. Look at the whole picture of your life, not just one day or one week or one month. If you make a mistake, fix it. If you find yourself straying from the plan, get back on track. Each day is a new day and you can start over. But remember that once you dig yourself into a hole it is very difficult to get out.
    While you are having fun, remember why you are there. College is difficult and requires a lot of studying and hard work. If you think you can get away without putting a lot of effort into it, you will be back home very quickly working full time in a job that pays barely enough for you to live on. Don't put yourself in that position. We know you can do this difficult child, but only if you make that decision for yourself and don't let anything get in your way. Remember that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so do it right.
    Make good choices. Those choices are all up to you, no one else. We are all dealt the same difficult cards in life. The difference is in how you play them. These are the best years of your life, but they are also the years where you chose your own destiny. Choose wisely difficult child. We love you and have faith in you that you can do this.
    Love always and forever.
    Mom and Dad
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    What a wonderful letter, Nancy. She's probably too gfgish to appreciate it now so I hope she keeps it and reads it over and over throughout the next few years.

    I am excited for her.......and YOU!

  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Suz she actually texted me on the way home and thanked me and said she was going to hand the card up in her room, I was surprised and touched that she liked it. This was the card:

    Love yourself.
    MAKE PEACE with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.

    Listen to your heart.
    If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, MAKE TIME for yourself.
    Enjoy you own company.
    Let your mind wander among the stars.

    Take chances.
    Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises.
    The next rock in you path might be a stepping-stone.

    Be happy.
    When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
    MAKE DO.
    That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

    There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.
    You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY.
    To know where you're going is only part of it.
    You need to know where you've been, too.
    And if you ever get lost, don't worry.
    The people who love you will find you.
    Count on it.

    Life isn't days and years.
    It's what you do with time and with the goodness and grace that's inside you.
    The kind of life you deserve.

  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE



  12. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Yay!!!! I know that euphoria when you are going home without that heavy weight on your shoulders. I felt like I was a young carefree girl for a few days. It was intoxicating.
    Of course, reality comes along but the few days where I didn't have anyone calling or complaining was heaven.
    Enjoy. I hope she grows up a bit and realizes what wonderful opportunities she has.
  13. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hooray! Now you can take some time to take a deep breath and relax. The letter was beautiful and I am glad that she took the time to let you know that she appreciated the card.

    Let's keep our fingers crossed that your difficult child will actually take advantage of the opportunity to learn and grow.

    In the meantime . . . I'll see you on the party thread!

  14. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Yipee! Your letter was lovely. Best wishes for a great college experience for difficult child and you! -RM
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Wonderful letter!!!

    Sending good thoughts!!!!
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm jealous.........but happy for you, too. ;) DDD
  17. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Don't be too jealous DDD, I have a feeling the empty nest won't be empty that long. Based on all the calls I've gotten from family members who follow her facebook, she's been out drinking herself into oblivion every night.

  18. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Is there a back up plan being made?
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, the backup plan is that she comes home, finds a full time job and gets an apartment within three months. We are prepared to help pay for the apartment for a limited time but then she will be on her own. She has been told this over and over again so it's her choice.

  20. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    It's good that you have a plan and she knows what it is. Hopefully the influence of her peers and students will be a positive once class begins.