Nancy, what's happening

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Fran, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I just read on the end of Kathy's thread that difficult child has been gone for 3 days and that she was taking things from the house. It was a week ago but I was wondering how things are now.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, I just re-read that thread too and noticed that. My mind and body are a bit in an uproar so Im not as alert as I should be. Please keep us informed!
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911


    My world is so topsy-turvy that I completely understand if you don't say a thing. Just know that I saw it too, and wanted to just send some support and hugs and love and understanding. Sometimes we don't let them take a piece of our heart- they just help themselves to a huge chunk without our permission.

    Hugs & Love
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sending some warm ((((hugs)))) you're way.
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank you ladies, I just saw this. I hesitate to post anything because as soon as I do, it changes. Things were going well for three months, seems she can never go longer than three months. She was working two jobs, paying us back slowly for all her court costs and fines, going for monthly drug tests which all turned up clean. I was really beginning to think and hope that she was sticking to the plan to pay everything off and save for cosmetology school and her own apartment.

    First she got fired from one of her jobs for helping her girlfriend return items the girlfriend bought on employee discount without a receipt to get full price. She claims she had no idea why this girlfriend asked her to return then as she had not even started working there yet and didn't know the rules. They both got fired. This makes it the third job she has been fired from and she's only 18.

    Then spring break came for high school (her boyfriend is still in high school). I guess she decided to walk on the wild side with him and didn't come home for three days and when she did she reaked from pot. The agreement was she had to move out immediately if she broke any of the rules. So we told her to find a place to live and leave. Of course she didn't and that meant we had to go to plan B where we would have to evict her. husband told her she had two weeks to find a full time job and leave. That was about a month ago and she is still here. I know we sound wishy washy, but husband keeps telling me it's not that easy to extract ourselves from this situation. She seems to be back on track temporarily, asked to start up with the therapist again and had her appointment yesterday. boyfriend told her he wasn't going to move in with her after graduation like she assumed he would. That means she is soley responsible for the rest. They went to look at some apartments and very few will rent to an 18 year old. I took her to several and they told her she had to have an income of $1500 a month to pass the credit check. Hahahaha she makes about $125 every other week.

    She is going to his senior prom next Saturday. I would not buy her a new dress and she is wearing the one from her prom last year. She has no shoes to wear and I told her I was not paying to have her hair or makeup done. I was done with high school and I told her I was sorry she wasn't.

    by the way during her three day spring break fling she got another tatoo on her foot....a martini glass with the word "classy" written in it. This is in addition to the one she got her second week of college on the inside of her forearm from wrist to elbow that says "Always and Forever". I told her she should have used the tatoo money to save for an apartment. She continues to make poor choices and doesn't learn from them.

    So that's my life right now.

    Last edited: Apr 23, 2010
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. With that Always and Forever tatoo..........Is it possible she and Nichole are friends??? Nichole has one in the exact same spot. She did it because of 3 reasons 1. it reminds her of the book I read to her all during her childhood "I'll love you forever", 2. she and boyfriend say it to each other all the time, and 3. she's said it to Aubrey since she was born.

    Odd that they'd both have the same tat in the same spot.

    As per the job situation, while it's frustrating to watch them lose them for such stupid reasons...........I've seen many a kid that age go through jobs like tissue and in the end they seem to turn it around. I keep hoping it will be that way for Nichole. She's still looking after walking out on her factory job.

    I can see where husband is coming from, sort of. But like you said, it also makes you guys come off wishy washy and even if she's not doing it now, eventually she's going to take advantage and really push her luck. sigh

  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Sorry. I understand that it is difficult. I don't have any advice I just wondered how you were doing. You and husband are in my thoughts.
    Having a child out of touch for 3 days while infuriating has to be terrifying. Hugs.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm sorry, Nancy. :919Mad:

  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's so hard to hang on to the rollercoaster. My thoughts are with you and husband. DDD
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, Nancy, I sure don't have any answers but I wanted you to know that I was thinking of you . . .

    D3 is right. Living with a difficult child is like riding a rollercoaster. The thing is . . . I have never liked rollercoasters. Let me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry to read this Nancy. Sigh. I do not know how you would get her out of the house without just putting her on the street.
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending support and gentle hugs. I am sorry that things are so rough.