My father is very difficult and always has been. He has never been interested in any of his children and thinks of us only in terms of how he might be able to brag about us to others. In his mind, this means we should be well off and married to rich men who kiss his buttosky. It is not uncommon for him to call us horrible names an d to say things like "Not one of you children ever gave me one moment of pleasure! Not one! And I was a PERFECT father) <====lol. He has NEVER said a good word about any of the three of us. I'm not exaggerating. I'm ashamed to say that the reason my sister and I put up with him to a certain extent was because he would sometimes give us small amounts of money when we needed it. He was hateful about it, but he'd do it. And both my sister and I don't have a lot of money. I know now that I should have done without his small favors long ago and put my foot down long ago, but I didn't and now he is 88. In the last three years he has gotten even more abusive. He told my brother that because of his age he is "not holding back anymore." Heavens, we laughed at that because none of us thought he was holding back before, but I guess he has been because as awful as he has always been, his attacks are worse and more frequent. He does not, in any way, have Alzheimers. He is very lucid, clear, and has a remarkable memory for his age, especially about things he considers past slights. The last time I talked to him, he was livid beyond being livid because on Father's Day I was with my own family and forgot to call him. So I called him the next day. He didn't answer the phone (I thought he was out, but I now realize he was angry and pouting) so I left an upbeat apologetic voicemail saying I was sorry it was late, but Happy Father's Day. He didn't accept the late well wishes. He thinks I sounded too cavalier about forgetting to call him on father's day. He thinks I didn't sound sorry enough that I forgot. He won't speak to me because of it, although he did call me one time. When he called me it was pure abuse. Basically he ranted and yelled about things from forty years ago to his 85th birthday party, which I planned and it didn't go off because we couldn't come in on the appointed day (long story). He told me, all of us were crapola (using the shorter word) over and over again. Then he called my brother afterward and told HIM that we were all the "S" word. He repeated that over and over again. I'm so done with his abuse. Once he gets over his anger (it has been over a month now that he has been furious that I didn't call on Father's Day) he WILL call me again. I want to tell him that we are not **** and that if he is abusive to me again, I am going to have to get off the phone. My inheritance could be at stake. However, my sister and I have a pact that if he disinherits one of us, we'll split the money anyway. And if I don't get the inheritance, it's not the end of the world. My mother disinherited me (nobody knows why--she was as bad as my father was). I survived that. My real question is, should I even go there since I was dumb enough to wait to bring it up until he was 88? I really DON'T want to hear it anymore. I especially get hot when he demeans my husband, whom I love very much, because he doesn't make a lot of money. He's Crapola too...lol. I wouldn't START anything, but if he called me a name, I would tell him, "No, I'm not crapola. If you can't be nice to me, I'm going to get off the phone. That is abuse." Is it too late for that? Cruel to do that to such an old man? Is it worth it? Actually, Sis an d I have some fun with it. We text each other all the time with stuff like "Hey, Sis, you're crapola. What did you ever do for me?" And then the answer: "You're "S!" I remember when you forgot to call me on my birthday twenty years ago." We laugh about it a lot. My father is a classic narcissist. If it's not about him, he isn't intersted. He never even went to see his great-grandson and has no interest in him or any of us, really. Dad can not even pay attention to what others are saying if he isn't the center of the conversation. He truly believes the sun doesn't rise until he does. He has been verbally abusive and borderline violent (throwing things with fury in his eyes) all of his life and in all of his relationships. His father was sort of like that too. Wise women, what d'ya say?